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| Page late and a dollar short |
When did the tether get removed? -------------------------------------—————— ————————--Ignorance is a powerful tool if applied at the right time, even, usually, surpassing knowledge(E.J.Potter, A.K.A. The Michigan Madman) | |||
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Walk in the Front Door and holler "what DIED in here?." I've stopped counting. | |||
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Member |
Lmao
______________________________________________ Life is short. It’s shorter with the wrong gun… | |||
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Step by step walk the thousand mile road |
I feel ill… or I am ill… Tends to ripple through a dining room like ice cold Rocky Mountain water in the Madison River. Edith, it’s the BIG ONE! Can easily be misunderstood. Where’d that dirty diaper go? Often provokes a rush into another room, or outdoors. DRINK UP!! BOOZE IS FREE!! You will not be invited there again. Nice is overrated "It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government." Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018 | |||
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| Dances With Tornados |
Let's Dance! Everybody do the Turkey Trot!!!! There better be lots of toilet paper this year!! Oh you brought the bird? I got the bird for you! (Gives Finger Salute). . | |||
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Member |
For myself, nothing. It's best for me to say absolutely nothing except please and thank you. My wife and daughters don't want to hear anything from dear old dad, since he doesn't really know anything of consequence not having anything to with the really important and fascinating things that make the world go around, like the hard sciences, physics, cryptography, politics, geology, the economy, you know, the really interesting stuff of Thanksgiving conversations. I don't get it. This year I'm making a special effort. So this Thanksgiving will be all about girl conversations. Esp since I'll be the only Male in the house except for the Dog, who is smitten with female baby talk, and had his nads removed when it really counted. Lover of the US Constitution Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster | |||
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Member |
True story, from my family. Unfortunately I missed Thanksgiving that year, didn't go home. One of my brothers was busted on a solicitation charge. So when he got to my mom's at Thanksgiving, his twin greeted him with "Hi, John!" I'm told that once the air was cleared and it blew over (I'm sure there's a pun in there somewhere), the rest of the day was good. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. - Dave Barry "Never go through life saying 'I should have'..." - quote from the 9/11 Boatlift Story (thanks, sdy for posting it) | |||
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DeadHead |
Oh, you've put on weight. "Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right!" - GhostBusters II "You have all the tools you need. Don't blame them. Use them." - Dan Worrall | |||
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always with a hat or sunscreen |
 Certifiable member of the gun toting, septuagenarian, bucket list workin', crazed retiree, bald is beautiful club! USN (RET), COTEP #192 | |||
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Member |
I think the Lions are going all the way this year. _____________________ Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you. | |||
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| Victim of Life's Circumstances  |
what a pretty baby - did you ever figure out who the father is? ________________________ God spelled backwards is dog | |||
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| Slayer of Agapanthus |
I brought a pound of limburger for the cheese sauce! Screw football, let's watch the Star Wars Christmas Special! Lutefisk pate for everyone! Are your kids still losers? "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre. | |||
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I always find that calling the new husband/wife by the old husband/wife’s name is a crowd pleaser. | |||
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Member |
BrahahahaHhaha If that wasn't a quote from Cousin Eddie in "National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Dinner", It should have been. ____________________ Blessed be the Lord, my Rock | |||
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Age Quod Agis |
I'll take the slice off the grundle. "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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Pull my finger. (thanks for the tip Bald1) _____________________ Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you. | |||
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| Bookers Bourbon and a good cigar  |
Damn it, I hate when my Hemorrhoids start itching and burning at the dinner table. BIDEN SUCKS. If you're goin' through hell, keep on going. Don't slow down. If you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there. NRA ENDOWMENT LIFE MEMBER | |||
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Member |
As a former Plumber I find this hilarious... Now. Not so much back in the day when I was the one who got the "emergency" call on a holiday to fix it! Strange... I never once got invited in to join them for their meal after spending a hour or more rodding out their sewer line.  If it ain't woke... don't fix it. | |||
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| Muzzle flash aficionado  |
"Did I sit at the wrong table?" (Line from a buffet ad when dad sees his family only eating selected parts of the feast.) I am fortunate to have been invited to a friend's home for the Thanksgiving meal. I've eaten with them several times in the past. I take a small gift (2 cobalt glass tumblers from my collection) and this year will also take my "famous" fruit salad. flashguy Texan by choice, not accident of birth | |||
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“I brought over a big bottle of ketchup since you did not have any in your fridge at last year’s Thanksgiving dinner.” __________ "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy." | |||
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