Walk in the Front Door and holler "what DIED in here?."

Lmao

quote:

Originally posted by Tuckerrnr1:
"Spread those legs so I can get at the good stuff!"

I feel ill… or I am ill…

Tends to ripple through a dining room like ice cold Rocky Mountain water in the Madison River.

Edith, it’s the BIG ONE!

Can easily be misunderstood.

Where’d that dirty diaper go?

Often provokes a rush into another room, or outdoors.

DRINK UP!! BOOZE IS FREE!!

You will not be invited there again.

Let's Dance! Everybody do the Turkey Trot!!!! There better be lots of toilet paper this year!!

Oh you brought the bird? I got the bird for you! (Gives Finger Salute).
.

For myself, nothing. It's best for me to say absolutely nothing except please and thank you. My wife and daughters don't want to hear anything from dear old dad, since he doesn't really know anything of consequence not having anything to with the really important and fascinating things that make the world go around, like the hard sciences, physics, cryptography, politics, geology, the economy, you know, the really interesting stuff of Thanksgiving conversations. I don't get it. This year I'm making a special effort. So this Thanksgiving will be all about girl conversations. Esp since I'll be the only Male in the house except for the Dog, who is smitten with female baby talk, and had his nads removed when it really counted.

True story, from my family. Unfortunately I missed Thanksgiving that year, didn't go home.

One of my brothers was busted on a solicitation charge. So when he got to my mom's at Thanksgiving, his twin greeted him with "Hi, John!" I'm told that once the air was cleared and it blew over (I'm sure there's a pun in there somewhere), the rest of the day was good.

Oh, you've put on weight.

I think the Lions are going all the way this year.

what a pretty baby - did you ever figure out who the father is?

I brought a pound of limburger for the cheese sauce!

Screw football, let's watch the Star Wars Christmas Special!

Lutefisk pate for everyone!

Are your kids still losers?

I always find that calling the new husband/wife by the old husband/wife’s name is a crowd pleaser.

quote:

Originally posted by Tuckerrnr1:
"Spread those legs so I can get at the good stuff!"

BrahahahaHhaha

If that wasn't a quote from Cousin Eddie in "National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Dinner",
It should have been.

I'll take the slice off the grundle.

Pull my finger.
(thanks for the tip Bald1)

Damn it, I hate when my Hemorrhoids start itching and burning at the dinner table.

quote:

Originally posted by shovelhead:
How come the toilet is not flushing?

As a former Plumber I find this hilarious... Now.

Not so much back in the day when I was the one who got the "emergency" call on a holiday to fix it!

Strange... I never once got invited in to join them for their meal after spending a hour or more rodding out their sewer line.

"Did I sit at the wrong table?" (Line from a buffet ad when dad sees his family only eating selected parts of the feast.)

I am fortunate to have been invited to a friend's home for the Thanksgiving meal. I've eaten with them several times in the past. I take a small gift (2 cobalt glass tumblers from my collection) and this year will also take my "famous" fruit salad.

flashguy

“I brought over a big bottle of ketchup since you did not have any in your fridge at last year’s Thanksgiving dinner.”

What’s the status of ____ (insert “favorite” relative) DUI/Divorce etc.