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Questions we don't want to be asked in life Login/Join 
Rumors of my death
are greatly exaggerated
Picture of coloradohunter44
posted
Where is all this water coming from?




I walked into the kitchen last night and saw the floor was quite wet. Turns out the kitchen faucet has been leaking intermittently for about a day and a half, and has finally made itself known. Now we get to go shopping for a new one and then try to get it all hooked up correctly. Such fun. At least we caught it early and don't have black mold to deal with too.

What have been your "favorites"?

We were joking about the Seinfeld episode where Kramer had a garbage disposal installed in his shower. We have to get this fixed soon. A functional kitchen sink is certainly a necessity.



"Someday I hope to be half the man my bird-dog thinks I am."

FBLM LGB!
 
Posts: 11037 | Location: Commirado | Registered: July 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
delicately calloused
Picture of darthfuster
posted Hide Post
Dad, can I borrow your truck?



You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
 
Posts: 29957 | Location: Norris Lake, TN | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Joy Maker
Picture of airsoft guy
posted Hide Post
Usually right after you get your tax return, or a big check with lots of OT on it, "What's that sound? Why is the Check Engine Light blinking?"



quote:
Originally posted by Will938:
If you don't become a screen writer for comedy movies, then you're an asshole.
 
Posts: 17144 | Location: Washington State | Registered: April 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
"Can I talk to you for a minute...?"




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
 
Posts: 44596 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! (in Arkansas) | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Can I borrow your tools?


No one's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session.- Mark Twain
 
Posts: 3671 | Location: TX | Registered: October 08, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
posted Hide Post
“First of all”…

That pretty much means first of all, I am proper fucked.



quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4465 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
posted Hide Post
Does the defendant know where that shotgun came from?



 
Posts: 9474 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
posted Hide Post
"At what point did you shoot the clerk?"




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
 
Posts: 44596 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! (in Arkansas) | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
On the wrong side of
the Mobius strip
Picture of Patrick-SP2022
posted Hide Post
"Can I get an order of fries with that burger?"




 
Posts: 4170 | Location: Texas | Registered: April 16, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Waiting for Hachiko
Picture of Sunset_Va
posted Hide Post
" Are you forgetting one thing ? "


美しい犬
 
Posts: 6673 | Location: Near the Metropolis of Tightsqueeze, Va | Registered: February 18, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Ripley
posted Hide Post
Have you been vaccinated?




Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
 
Posts: 8624 | Location: Flown-over country | Registered: December 25, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Optimistic Cynic
Picture of architect
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
"Can I talk to you for a minute...?"
Similar, but even more dreadful: "Honey, we need to talk."
 
Posts: 6892 | Location: NoVA | Registered: July 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Unmanned Writer
Picture of LS1 GTO
posted Hide Post
Do you know why i pulled you over?


Are you sure that baby is yours?






Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.



"If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers

The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own...



 
Posts: 14220 | Location: It was Lat: 33.xxxx Lon: 44.xxxx now it's CA :( | Registered: March 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
You have cow?
I lift cow!
posted Hide Post
Can I borrow money?


------------------------------
http://defendersoffreedom.us/
 
Posts: 7044 | Location: Bay Area | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spread the Disease
Picture of flesheatingvirus
posted Hide Post
“What are you thinking?”


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 17732 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shoulda Coulda
Oughta Woulda
posted Hide Post
Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
 
Posts: 549 | Registered: June 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by ss9961:

Do these jeans make my ass look fat?






הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 31625 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I Am The Walrus
posted Hide Post
Are you busy right now?


_____________

 
Posts: 13345 | Registered: March 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
St. Vitus
Dance Instructor
Picture of blueye
posted Hide Post
What's on your mind?
 
Posts: 5363 | Location: basement | Registered: April 06, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted Hide Post
Guess what I watched them do on HGTV




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10769 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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