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Peripheral Visionary |
Where do you want to eat?   | |||
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Member |
'You know I'm a dude, right?' | |||
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Drug Dealer |
"Is it in?" When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| The Unknown Stuntman  |
Nothing but questions at the last blood drive: Where did you get all this? Why's it in a bucket? blah...blah...blah | |||
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| Member |
Are you wearing a condom? | |||
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| Member |
May I see your drivers license and registration, please? End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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Member |
Honey, is the pilot wearing two different colored shoes? | |||
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Member |
Are you ready for your suppository? _____________________ Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you. | |||
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| On the wrong side of the Mobius strip  |
Will the defendant please rise? | |||
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Only the strong survive |
Sure, sign right here.  41 | |||
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Member |
Did you have sex with my daughter? | |||
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Member |
Where's your brain?!?! God bless America. | |||
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| Too soon old, Too late smart |
The boss wants to see you immediately _______________________________________ NRA Life Member Member Isaac Walton League I wouldn't let anyone do to me what I've done to myself | |||
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| Bookers Bourbon and a good cigar  |
That's not a question. This is: Why does the boss want to see you immediately? If you're goin' through hell, keep on going. Don't slow down. If you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there. NRA ENDOWMENT LIFE MEMBER | |||
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| Member |
I have a 500 gallon sump tank on the 1st floor of our house that has a 2" sewage pump instead of a sump pump (yes we get lots of water in the Spring) it empties into the ditch out front. One late winter we had really warm weather followed by really cold weather. Guess what we woke up to, 3" of water on our sunken living room floor!! Wife went down to watch TV news early and screamed for me, I had to get dressed and take out my torch to relieve the problem. No problem except the electrical equipment on the floor behind the TV. We had recently changed out the carpet in the living room to tile, Thank God!! _________________________________________________ "Once abolish the God, and the Government becomes the God." --- G.K. Chesterton | |||
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The 2nd guarantees the 1st |
Remember our little quickie a couple of months ago? "Even if the world were perfect it wouldn't be." ... Yogi Berra | |||
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| Leatherneck |
Can I ask you a question and you not get mad? “Everybody wants a Sig in the sheets but a Glock on the streets.” -bionic218 04-02-2014 | |||
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| A teetotaling beer aficionado  |
"you got a minute?" Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves. -D.H. Lawrence | |||
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אַרְיֵה |
Call the man! (Call a plumber) הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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Drill Here, Drill Now |
What is the actual number of guns you own? Be specific... Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. | |||
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