Understood.

So that nobody misunderstands, I'm not trying to be an asshole here. It's not my intent to deride, mock, or be unfair.

I went running at a cliff at a dead sprint, and managed to stop only in time to be hanging by my fingertips, clawing to hang on. I see others running at the same cliff, saying "I think I got this" and it hurts me to my core to watch it happen.

If anyone needs or wants to talk with me directly, shoot me an email. I keep saying I need to take a break from this thread and I need to actually do it. It's agonizing to want to help, be capable of leading another man through the darkness if he'd only take my hand and hear "I just don't know if I want to."

I understand your intentions are only the best and you have done more than anyone else to assist in this matter, but at this point, we might as well ease off of the gas and let things progress as they will.

After being in the motel room in Texas for an unnecessary 7 months, it became August in Texas, much too hot for my existence. I called a friend who lives near the Eastern seaboard, and offered him $5,000 to pack up my suitcases and take me home. He declined on that, but an agreement was reached where we would hook up in Portland, and then he would drive me home. I paid his salary, airfare, and rental car fees. I did warn him "You are taking me to my death, you understand that, right." He didn't reply.

He bought sake in Portland while I bought wine. He drove me home the next day, after stopping for an 18 pack of Coors (what we used to drink together). I found one of the the 2 gold Stratocasters that I bought just for 1 song and played guitar for him. I remarked, "Isn't it funny that you're the last person to see me play guitar?"

My friend made it home and found a better job and home. We're still in contact, and his kids draw things for me and even painted a shirt for me. I've already given his kids 1/4 oz of gold each, but they seem unimpressed, them being so small and all. So I'm going to give them my very shiny, reflective Royal Canadian Mint 1 oz 18K gold holographic Chinese "year of animals" coins. I'd do this anyway, but his brother is a gastroenterologist who lives in a $2.1 million house in Bellevue who wouldn't tell me where to go in Washington as early as 2013. Yes, his brother drives a Mercedes.

I thought I made it clear to you- the only thing I require from you is coherence when posting. If I read your post twice and I still don't know what you're trying to say, then, you're not being coherent.

Make sense, or be quiet until you can make sense.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
[...]at this point, we might as well ease off of the gas and let things progress as they will.

Understood. Thank you.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:

quote:

Originally posted by old dino:
P220 Smudge ... a little off topic, but being a north Seattle boy hope to have a chance to sit down with lunch and meet you in person before you move away.

quote:

Originally posted by 911Boss:
I had already discussed a meet with P220 Smudge - Sounds like we need to do a get together!

I'd like that. Either as a little group, or individually, whatever everyone wants. Old Dino, you have email with my phone number. Let's figure something out.

I’m north KC. Would be pleased to meet y’all. And see the “new” 911boss … been about a decade.

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
I’m near RB in Shln. Would be pleased to meet y’all. And see the “new” 911boss … been about a decade.

Shoot me an email at the address in my profile. We'll get this figured out. I can't make sense of where you are, but it sounds like it'll be a North end meet.

Has rh logged in or contacted anyone since his last post here?

He logged in yesterday

He's not looking for help. I hope he finds what he needs.

Smudge, SIGnified, 911Boss and I had a long chat about this at our bbq lunch ... ending with there is not much more that can be done from us, that it is now only up to rh to do what is best for him.

I'm still here! Thank you for asking Beancooker. The reasons I suddenly stop posting is that the power went 4 of the next 5 days, and then twice later. My step-father was having medical problems, and then I had problems with my tax returns. There's more, but I was unsure whether to resurrect the topic.

Neighbors checked in on me yesterday. They said that I looked tired.

I did get more insulin. Also, my step-father and mother said that I could live in their "spare house" in Oklahoma.

I can explain more medical issues later if there is interest.