What do you call a shaver for hens and roosters?

A chicken schick.

What's the easiest way to tell the difference between a Male chromosome and a Female chromosome?

Pull down their genes.

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll.


How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was hit by the zamboni.

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Brian Wilson was going to go surfing but, he had to wait for the Tide

Hmm, someone explain this one to me.

Yeah, it like trying to solve one of Q's Karma riddles.

See Brian Wilson didn't know how to surf, despite all the songs he sang/wrote about surfing. On the other hand Dennis Wilson knew how to surf, but he sadly drowned.

oh well, enough drift....

....... I mean thread drift.....

why it is dangerous to mow the grass?

Because of the blades.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

Two missionaries are captured by the cannibalistic natives and tossed in a huge pot. One of the missionaries starts giggling and the other asks "How can you laugh at a time like this?" The other responds "I just peed in their soup!"

Know how to catch a polar bear?

Get a can of peas, and cut a hole in the ice. Make a trail of peas to the ice hole, and when the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.


Drunk guy calls AAA.
"Hi, I'm Bob, I'm an alcoholic".

"Sir, you do know this is AAA, not AA, right?"

"Yes sir. I was calling to tell you my car is in the river".

Two Jews walked into a bar......

Oh wait, wrong joke thread.

What do you call Bo Derek's bones?


A skeleTEN

How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

10

One to hold the lightbulb and 9 to drink until the room spins.

I think this is kinda fun. CSP officers in a bad joke showdown

I was at the grocery store today, and an elderly woman was ahead of me in line. Her food bill came to slightly more than $200.00, but her card was declined...so you guys already know what I did

.... Yes, pay it forward. It is the holidays, and The Man above will truly bless me for this. It was a lot of groceries and a lot of work, but I helped her put everything back...

What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark?

"Now I herd everything”
.

In my opinion, a broken drum is the best Christmas gift.

You can't beat it.



How does the hippie polygamist count his wives?

1 Mrs. Hippie, 2 Mrs. Hippie, 3 Mrs. Hippie...

I read yesterday that the inventor of autocorrect died this week.

The funnel will be held tomato.

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

A young blonde was asked why she didn't make any payments on the new refrigerator she had bought on credit.

She replied that the salesman who sold her the refrigerator told her it was a new improved model that "would pay for itself".

What's green and smells like red paint?
A: Green paint.

quote:

Originally posted by GWbiker:
Two Jews walked into a bar......

Oh wait, wrong joke thread.

*Kanye West enters the chat*