An Indian and Einstein sat next to each other on an airplane. Einstein turns to the Indian fella and says, "You know, it's a long flight. Why don't we have a competition? I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then, you can ask me a question and if I can't answer it, I'll pay you $500."

So, Einstein asks, "How far is the moon from the Earth?"

The Indian fella says, "You know, I really don't have the exact answer. Here's $5".

Then the Indian asked Einstein, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back down with four legs?"

Einstein worked through all of his knowledge of science and couldn't figure out what he was talking about, put his hand in his pocket and gave the man $500.

Then, it was Einstein's turn again. He said, "Before I ask you another question, what does go up the hill with three legs and come down with four?"

The Indian put his hand in his pocket and gave him $5.

So...the Indian gave Einstein five bucks...

Yeah

OK, I'm gonna need some help here.

The Indian didn't really know, so he had to pay up the five bucks?

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
So...the Indian gave Einstein five bucks...

Yeah

OK, I'm gonna need some help here.

Indian guy didn’t know the answer to the question he asked but came out ahead $490 anyhow. Einstein fucked up with the odds.

quote:

The Indian put his hand in his pocket and gave him $5.

Dot or feather Indian?

Slur! Lol

Dot. Heard it from an Indian guy. It's a little funnier with the accent.

I got my wife a new refrigerator for Christmas, can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it!

What do you call a chicken coop with 4 doors?

A Chicken Sedan.
.

What did George Washington say to his troops before crossing the Delaware?
"Get in the boat."

The Swedish, Norwegian and Danish navies put bar codes on their ships, so when a ship comes into port, they can Scandinavian.

What did the broom say to the vacuum?

“I’m so tired of people pushing us around.”

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My friend once found a $50 bill in his pants pocket after laundry.

I became worried that he might get arrested for money laundering.

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After washing all the clothes, my wife accidentally dropped all the laundry.

I witnessed it all unfold.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A comma is a pause at the end of a clause, a cat has claws at the end of its paws.

What did one hat say to the other hat?
"You stay here, I'll go on ahead."

What's the difference between a bank and a woman? There's none because....Oh wait, where the dirty joke thread?

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
What's the difference between a bank and a woman? There's none because....Oh wait, where the dirty joke thread?

The Bank has a Penalty for Early Withdrawal.

The Woman provides a substantial penalty for no early withdrawal.

(College age kid asks his Dad "Whats it cost to get married?" Dad: "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.")
.

One time, when I was diving The Blue Hole in Belize,
I passed a guy at 40ft who wasn't wearing any scuba gear.
The deeper I went, the deeper he went. Finally at 155ft, I wrote him a note on my slate, asking him how he was able to achieve such a feat.
He wrote back: "I'm drowning, you asshole!"

Brian Wilson was going to go surfing but, he had to wait for the Tide

Skeleton walks in to a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a beer and a mop”

A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together.
The charge? Attempted murder.

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
Brian Wilson was going to go surfing but, he had to wait for the Tide

Hmm, someone explain this one to me.

Q: Whats black, gray and white and rolls around in the parking lot of McDonalds?
A: Mr.T and a Pidgeon fighting over a French fry!
I crack myself up!