My dad used to tell me, when I did stupid shit, that if I did it again he would kick me from hell to breakfast

Boy! If you do that again I’ll kick you from hell to breakfast!

It wasn’t until years later that I contemplated how hard someone had to be kicked to go from a place to an event.

As long as you live under my roof you are gonna do what I say.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
As long as you live under my roof you are gonna do what I say.

My Dad's version was "As long as you stick your knees under my table..."

quote:

Originally posted by Kevbo:
from hell to breakfast

I still use that, just slightly differently like, “The cattle were scattered from hell to breakfast.”

Thinking about it, my mom used more of those old expressions than dad did. The “more than Carter’s got pills” that was mentioned earlier.

She’d say what sounded like, “You look like Helen Brown.” Then one of us would look down and see that we were wearing a brown shirt. She’d be smiling.

“What are you doin’, mom?”

“Oh, filing my nails with a buzz saw,” she’d answer without looking up.

eat it or go to bed hungry

I'm not heating the outside meant close the door, and are you paying the electric bill this month meant turn the light off.

Quit sitting there like a bump on a log. If you are bored I will give you something to do!

Wipe that smile off your face or I will wipe it off for you.

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out just as quick."

"You feeling froggy, boy? Then go ahead and jump!"

Who do you think you are Queen of Sheeba??

quote:

Originally posted by az4783054:
eat it or go to bed hungry

Didn't even have that option in our house. Just "Eat it."

The "or else" didn't need to be said out loud.

To this day there are things that I absolutely WILL NOT eat. Not in my house, not in someone else's house to be polite. Liver in any form, cauliflower, rutabaga and parsnips top the list.

"That's the way the mop flops".

Still says it at 83

Dad would call me Pierre' often accompanied by a rap of his knuckles on the back of my head. Most likely I deserved it as I certainly wasn't any angel. He was a very big man and a Sargent of a platoon in the airborne in WWII, a tuff old bird who definitely commanded my respect...yes sir and no sir was a standard reply. I learned a lot about respect and honesty from him, he demanded nothing less. He was an extremely generous man underneath that staunch exterior, though rarely seen. I owe him a lot more than I ever gave now that I'm older. I often smile to myself when I think about ole Pierre'...

"He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground."
"Cold as a witch's tit in a brass brassiere."

poking fun at someone was 'making a toot out of them'

if I spent money foolishly it was 'they sure saw you coming or you must have been mighty full handed'

he looks like he was shot at and missed but shit at and hit.

raining harder than a double cunted cow pissing on a flat rock.

miss an easy shot in a pool game 'you tore your britches that time'

yes = does a fat baby fart

yes = does a wild bear shit in the woods

Dad’s favorite expression and I’ll still use it today is, “I’d rather have luck than skill any day.”

I remembered another: if something was hot, and someone recoiled from the temp or dropped the dish or pan, theyd say it “has instructions on it”.

Confused as a kid i asked what those instructions were and theyd tell me “instructions to put it down”

Reveille

"Drop your cocks and grab your socks"

I'd rather be an hour early than 1 minute late.

If someone was overweight, my friends father would say "their Crisco," and then say "fat in the can".