Or at least imagine it?

Someone who is normally not on our side admits that we’re (at least partially) right about something and all we can do is focus on all the negative stuff he’s said.
Imagine that every good act is motivated by some hidden agenda that’s actually evil or at least primarily for the doer’s benefit and never intended primarily for someone else’s good.
If someone is caught doing something bad, they will not suffer for it, and will probably actually benefit in some way.
Heck, I believe that if some people found a $50 note, they’d bitch because it wasn’t $100.

I just don’t understand what the attraction is of living life that way. Yes, a lot of things are bad and many developments don’t turn our as we’d like, but to knee-jerk, automatically assume that the worst will happen every time? Or does that really give some people pleasure: a sort of Schadenfreude, but in reverse. We don’t just find joy in the misfortunes of others, but seek ways of making things worse for ourselves. (I wonder if there’s a word for that.)

I don’t put on my rose-colored specs every morning when I get up and I experience and see many unpleasant things in life, but I certainly don’t seek them out, and I do try to find enjoyment wherever I can—even in 10 inches of fresh snow on a late May morning.

I remember my dad saying:

'if you expect the worst from people and events, you'll seldom be disappointed.'

And he wasn't.

This sort of attitude is formed in childhood. I had an acquaintance that grew up in postwar Berlin. People were starving on the streets, eating garbage and stealing from one another. His father served in the German army and returned home to ruin. Somehow he made it to the U.S. Those experiences formed his cynical negative outlook on life. Even marrying an optimistic American did not change his cynicism.

I don't associate with negative people as all they do is bring me down and I'm not that way and refuse to become that way.

I work with at least one or two. It gets annoying as fuck.

You got hired to a full position after being a temp, and all you can do is bitch? REALLY? I’m glad I busted my ass to make it happen.

quote:

Originally posted by Pyker:
I remember my dad saying:

'if you expect the worst from people and events, you'll seldom be disappointed.'

And he wasn't.

Somewhere I remember reading that we create our own reality. I think we might somehow attract those events/people we either fear or find objectionable. The opposite might be equally true. Or maybe it's just new age woo-woo.

I will be honest, I am guilty of this..

I am trying to break the habit but I over analyze any and everything.

The other half says it was all the years of being an investigator and in law enforcement.

I am getting better but it still creeps in from time to time. (especially being out of work)

It does make life rather dreary and dull which is why I am trying to change.

Many of my bosses and coworkers over the years regarded me as negative. My response always was "I'm not negative. I'm actually optimistic. But it's optimism seasoned by reality."

quote:

Originally posted by mrapteam666:
The other half says it was all the years of being an investigator and in law enforcement.

I understand that and won’t presume to claim that I would be different if my experiences had been the same. I will say, though, that such things in general don’t affect everyone the same way.

I was a crimes investigator for 10 years and in intelligence investigations before that, and if anything not always assuming the worst helped me keep a more open mind than some of my colleagues and that often worked to my advantage. I long lost track of the times when someone drew an immediate conclusion that turned out to be wrong after someone else pointed out, “Yeah, but ….” That’s not to say that I didn’t form hypotheses and draw conclusions, but most of the time I was willing to change them, and that wasn’t true of everyone in the field.

And I am not referring the tendency to analyze everything. I believe I am much the same, and in large part due to my prior careers. One of the things that honest and clear-minded analysis does for me, though, is force me to face and accept things that I don’t like to see because they contradict my cherished beliefs. That usually doesn’t happen immediately, and shouldn’t, but I have also long lost memory of all the times it’s happened to me.

More to my point, though, is that most of us don’t have such life experiences to support finding the negative in everything we consider. Most of them don’t involve interactions with some dirtbag who seems exactly like every other dirtbag we’ve ever dealt with, but rather the tendency to find—and very often merely imagine—something negative in virtually every bit of news or engagement with others. I unfortunately see that exhibited very often in discussions here with no basis in actual evidence or even experience, and I can only wonder what life is like for such people.

I only look at the negative when it's called for; as in, can I be affected by the thing I am considering.

Otherwise, I take things at face value.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
My response always was "I'm not negative. I'm actually optimistic. But it's optimism seasoned by reality."

That describes me pretty well.

I'm generally a positive person. However, I don't consider myself an optimist (or a pessimist), but a logical/analytical realist.

It's fine to focus on the good things in the world and expect the best, but you should also consider and plan for the worst. And that requires anticipating both good and bad outcomes, so that you can account for both. You can't ignore the possibility that something will go wrong, any more than you can ignore the possibility that something will go right.

I think it's one of the reasons why I'm a good planner/organizer. Someone can suggest a good plan, and my response will usually be "Yes that seems like it will work, but what if..." Sometimes new folks take that as pessimism/negativity, before they really get to know me and realize that I'm just trying to look at it from every angle to account for various potential outcomes. I'm the king of playing Devil's Advocate.

I strongly resemble the above! Eyes wide open. It has served me well.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
My response always was "I'm not negative. I'm actually optimistic. But it's optimism seasoned by reality."

That describes me pretty well.

I'm generally a positive person. However, I don't consider myself an optimist (or a pessimist), but a logical/analytical realist.

Could be that you guys are right or could be it is just your perception.
But it is the perception by others that really count.

Personally I don't see being negative as virtue.
Except in some jobs that require it perhaps.

You to understand how it can affect other people ~ especially those close to you.

I assume this is in reference to Bill Maher. If not and it’s not then don’t read on because it it will be irrelevant.

The reason I don’t look at Bill Maher and his “coming to Jesus” moments lately is because I read his other stuff. Stuff that is current. Not years ago but current. He still thinks anyone who believes in the Bible is a fucking idiot. Not that he is a non believer but that you are a fucking idiot. He still believes Republicans, conservatives have no redeeming qualities. He still believes that the Democratic party and his band of leftists are the path future for America. These moments of “reasonable” talk I believe are merely due to pragmatism and self interest. Self interest because he is selling to a whole new crowd and pragmatism because you would have to be stupid not to realize the Democrats are shooting themselves in the foot with this lunacy. And Bill Maher isn’t stupid.

So no, I don’t look at an avowed enemy to most of what I hold dear and think “this guy has seen the light”. I don’t believe he has and if his party regains it’s footing his soliloquy’s will return to the cringe inducing norm.

That’s not seeing everything with a negative lens, that’s recognizing a tiger really doesn’t change its stripes in most cases.

If Disney stops their lunacy I won’t immediately back them up either. Posturing is posturing. Would I quote Bill Maher in a self serving way? Yup. I don’t trust him at all though and neither should you.

quote:

Originally posted by pedropcola:
I assume this is in reference to Bill Maher.

It's not. (Look at the OP times.) But that thread is an excellent example of this OP's point.

Bill Maher video clips have been popping up in threads besides the one you just started. I am assuming it’s Maher because he specifically references “someone not normally on our side”. I think that may be who he is talking about. If not, then my post is irrelevant and ignore it.

Good Morning all
I hope the day finds everyone well

After reading other forum members comments, I re-read sigfreund and Rogues and took the day to think about it.

Then while I at the gym, I re-evaluated what I wrote.

I wasn't always a cynic and negative, but it began when I lived in Ohio and tried to enter Law Enforcement (along with Indiana, Michigan, etc..). Over the years I kept getting rejection notices from Civil Service and informed that I was not qualified, would not make it through the academy etc.. Now this was after being in the Army and years later when I was a Police Officer.

It is not working the streets or dealing with the murders, rapes, etc.. It is dealing with all the Political inter office BS, hiring processes, etc..

It really came to a head when I was doing Personnel Security and Background investigations for the Government. I enjoyed meeting people, but it burned me up when I knew highly qualified men and women who were not even given a second glance but here I am investigating Mr. Shit stain for a gov job because he can check a box.

I am battling it now trying to re-enter law enforcement. I am so tired of being told that I am not qualified. . Really after 24 years of combined experience between Law Enforcement and the military..

I do see what most members are saying though. I have always been very analytical, and always trying to determine the underlying cause of everything.

On the flip side though I enjoy a beautiful sunrise and sunset. I love nature and being in it everyday.

This morning while at the gym, I talked with a guy who I had not seen for a while. We were talking about his boys playing traveling baseball during out workout. (The negative though is that I worked out for 1.5 hours and it was great. I will pay dearly for it though).

I do like RogueJSK's comment:
I am the same way and it has definitely rubbed people the wrong way in both the Military and LE. Until they get to know me they think I am being stubborn, and not a team player.

I always play the devil advocate or the what if game. It has served me well over the years.

One more thing about being "analytical" vs being "negative".
They are not necessarily the same thing.
While they could be closely related ~ a main crux is how it is presented.
Just because you are right with the analytics - it doesn't give you the right to be a dick.
.02

Negative people tend to pull you down it always weighs heavy on you. My wife and I on several occasions have severed ties with negative people in our lives.