Good post sigfreund! I believe to a certain degree social media…Facebook specifically was designed to piss me off and made me fixate on bullshit that truly had no bearing on my life.

The engagement that fucked up algorithm provided was probably designed to psychologically hook people (it hooked me) on a never ending cycle of rage. What impact does that have on society? I am SOOOOO glad I deleted myself from that platform (before they deleted me) and felt great once I began to focus on that which brings me joy and actually matters.

This life is too short to be pissed off and pessimistic 24/7/365. That time is better spent enjoying the finer things in life.

.

worked retail grocery for 35 yrs,
it was, and still may be, a very negative business,

constantly beat up for conditions, profits, what ever metric you were being measured on, both as a part timer all the way up to Store Management,

and that was just work,

John and Jane Public generally look down on anyone in the Service Industry, despite the fact that my paycheck was much better than most of them,


but that is retail, you meet a ton of good folks, and work with a lot of good hard workers, but seem to remember most of the idjits and deal with their issues

nothing like getting your ass ripped by some moron that wants you to solve a problem they created,,,

taught me how to talk to people on a different level, different , as in take control of the situation and shut down the nastiness, to fix the perceived problem in a more quiet and less stressful way,


I also learned how to put someone in their place with out ever cussing or raising my voice,


probably not a good thing to learn, but it came with the territory,


meanwhile, now in the FFL\SOT business, and generally speaking much much more stress free, much much different type of customer, (last 3 stores I managed for a national grocer were in the hood)

now, sometimes I feel the need for a Tinfoil hat, and sometimes have to work my way out of a conversation, but overall, having fun,


never considered myself too negative, more like realistic, see what could happen and try to make sure it did not,

plan you work and work you plan, was burned in my head early, as well as think of the consequences of your action, or rather , inaction, ,

quote:

What’s it like to see the negative side of everything?

When my wife gets up, I'll ask her.

Seriously. She can't understand why the kids call and want to talk to me, especially if they're looking for advice.

She insists on telling people, especially relations, things they don't want to hear. And she's a world-class expert at finding the dark lining in silver clouds.

"Hey Mom, we won the lotto!"

"Oh dear...think of all the taxes you'll have to pay..."

When contemplating projects or ideas, it's useful to recognize the possible downsides, but to focus on them exclusively is exhausting.

Oh dear...think of all the taxes you'll have to pay...". PHPaul

Now that is negative!!

“What’s it like to see the negative side of everything?” [Emphasis added.]

When I started this thread, the “everything” was what I was thinking of. On the rare occasions when I answer the phone and it’s “This is Amazon …,” or “This is your credit card company …,” do I react negatively? Of course, and that’s because experience has taught me that it’s a thief on the line and not anyone from Amazon or Visa. Many situations, including jobs and personal relationships, prudently demand that we be distrustful of people and their claims, etc. But it’s hardly true that of everyone or everything. And because it’s not true of even most things or people, I genuinely wonder how it’s like to live when suspicions and distrust govern someone’s thoughts all the time, as seems to be true of some people.

That is of course somewhat of an exaggeration: No one is distrustful of all the food they eat with fears that it had been poisoned or adulterated, or they would starve to death in a short time. But believing that all fast food, for example, is unsafe to eat is probably not an unknown fear. If someone believes that, though, my first thought is Why stop there? If disease carriers are regularly spitting in our Big Macs, why not on our lettuce or grapes? If the strong, record-setting athlete couldn’t have gotten that way without drugs, why do we trust that the police officer who passed the SWAT physical fitness test won’t suddenly succumb to roid rage and murder the rest of his teammates?

Yes, there are reasons to be suspicious in certain circumstances, but if “Yeah, but …” pops into our mind every time, especially every time we’re thinking of something that most people consider to be good, what’s that like to think that way? Is it really enjoyable? Does it give us a sense of security?

“Something wonderful is about to happen!”

Years ago I worked with two different guys that were the most negative people I have ever been around .And one of them was OCD to boot . BOTH of them ended up divorced . They were nice guys but very depressing to be around for even a short time .

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:

quote:

What’s it like to see the negative side of everything?

When my wife gets up, I'll ask her.

I wonder if there is a therapy group for this .... for you and me not our wives.
OH yes there is ... the bar.

quote:

Originally posted by smschulz:
I wonder if there is a therapy group for this .... for you and me not our wives.
OH yes there is ... the bar.

There's a dude at my favorite bar who's in there frequently, hiding out from his shrew of a wife.

All he does is complain loudly and annoyingly to anyone that will listen (as well as anyone who will not listen) about all of his wife's horrible personality traits and the stuff his wife does that he doesn't like.

He doesn't let up, and doesn't take a hint, and gets angry when you straight up tell him you're not interested in listening to him bitch to you about his wife.

Just a really pathetic, bitter man.

Please don't be that guy.

I grumble and grouse sometimes - OK, maybe a lot - but I try to balance it out. I had a co-worker for a time who was so negative I nicknamed him Eeyore.

quote:

Originally posted by smschulz:

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:

quote:

What’s it like to see the negative side of everything?

When my wife gets up, I'll ask her.

I wonder if there is a therapy group for this .... for you and me not our wives.
OH yes there is ... the bar.

I take your point, but I've been down that road and ain't never going back.

A week without power except, not really because we have a generator and can run everything except the fridge and AC. Everyday, power has restored closer to our house.

My wife doesn’t care or see anything positive about it.

Today, right now, there are trucks up and down our street. They are setting a new pole across the street (the one the line to our house comes from). There’s new transformers being installed on the other poles and wires are being run. Wife should be happy, right? Nope. The trucks are blocking the street and she wants to go to the store.

What's the old saying? The pessimist thinks things can't get any worse...but the optimist believes they can.

There is a utility to negativity that is hard to deny. It is a way to avoid being let down. That usually stems from a person who has suffered repeated or severe consequences of being wrong.

What those people fail to understand is how their thoughts and actions can affect others.

I am as guilty as anyone.

One thing that has made a big improvement for me is not watching the news. I'm not oblivious to the world, I read Sigforum . But I don't seek out any news channel - national or local. I have learned to understand and accept I have no bearing on what these things are doing to the world, so why am I letting these events have an effect on me?

Keep your world small. I'm working on it.

quote:

Originally posted by bionic218:
What's the old saying? The pessimist thinks things can't get any worse...but the optimist believes they can.

There is a utility to negativity that is hard to deny. It is a way to avoid being let down. That usually stems from a person who has suffered repeated or severe consequences of being wrong.

I often say (only partly tongue-in-cheek) that pessimism is the only rational approach - if things turn to shit, it's no more than you expected and if things go right, it's a pleasant surprise.

It's the algorithm. More hits for conflict.

I work with a person who sucks the sunlight out of every situation. He has a decent secure job, great wife, three good kids. Complains constantly about people who cut him off in traffic. Really? Every day both to and from work? He is either sick or very tired almost every day and talks about it constantly.

Impossible to avoid him because we share assignments.

Best not to tell such a person to cheer up, just let it go.