The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.

As usual.

Setting low expectations keeps you from getting disappointed.

quote:

What’s it like to see the negative side of everything?

Like being right most of the time.

Ha! I have often thought of starting a log of predictions and pronouncements made here and then when they turned out to be spectacularly wrong to post them here. I still remember some doozies over they years I’ve been a member.

But that would not only be a pretty much full time task for the purpose of having no effect, it would make me even less popular with some than I already am.

quote:

Originally posted by sigfreund:
Ha! I have often thought of starting a log of predictions and pronouncements made here and then when they turned out to be spectacularly wrong to post them here.

We have that. The thread is called "When will the coronavirus arrive in the US? (Disease: COVID-19; Virus: SARS-CoV-2)".

I can't control a lot of what happens to me. I can absolutely control my reaction to it. It takes practice and discipline, but I think anyone can learn how to see the world in a positive light.

quote:

Originally posted by sigalert:
It takes practice and discipline, but I think anyone can learn how to see the world in a positive light.

I used to work with a guy that would make a liar out of that statement . Yeah , he was that bad ..

So a lot of people at work think I have a bad attitude and a lot of negativity.

Is it my fault that I expect others to perform 100% quality work without any failures? Should I just keep my mouth shut or say hey good job you did even though it was wrong and now causes more work to fix?

Being tough and finding fault where fault exists is not the negativity I’m referring to—nor do I consider that to be any sort of negativity.

This thread was started because of the sort of thing that was posted a couple of times in the thread about the man who broke into a school to find shelter from a blizzard for himself and several other people who were stranded and in serious danger. The immediate response from some was, “Yeah, he needs to be anonymous because he will be arrested by those nasty ol’ police.” The implication is that even good deeds will always result in bad things happening to us. And even then if there was justification for the comments, such as, “That’s what happened to the last guy in that jurisdiction who used a police radio to call for help for an officer who had been shot,” then I could understand it. But with some people it’s an absolute knee-jerk type response with no more justification than their own … (characterization omitted) imaginations.

“Yes, he saved an entire mall from a madman bent on random slaughter, but he’ll be sued and have his life ruined because of that.”
“He was caught kidnapping babies and sacrificing them alive in a kitchen oven, but he’s a Democrat so he’ll get off, and end up with his own talk show.”

And it isn’t just the negativity, but the apparent glee that some people have in expressing it: “Oh, you wanted to find a moment of happiness in a bit of good news; well, buttercup, chew on this.”

As I keep asking, what’s it like to live a life that’s governed by such desires to not only make themselves miserable, but to take satisfaction in actively destroying the mood of others at every opportunity? I am genuinely curious because it is so alien to my view of what humanity is all about and how most of us have gotten to where we are. I have learned much about human nature in my time here, but that sort of thing still puzzles me.

If, BTW, anyone wishes to chime in with, “Yeah, that shoe fits me perfectly and I’m proud to wear it,” don’t take offense or be sad because of my criticism, just take a bit more satisfaction from the fact that you’ve managed to prompt an entire thread in response. That’s got to be better than just defecating in random discussions that catch your interest.

quote:

Originally posted by sigfreund:


As I keep asking, what’s it like to live a life that’s governed by such desires to not only make themselves miserable, but to take satisfaction in actively destroying the mood of others at every opportunity? I am genuinely curious because it is so alien to my view of what humanity is all about and how most of us have gotten to where we are. I have learned much about human nature in my time here, but that sort of thing still puzzles me.

But that's your perspective - that people who see the negative in things simply want to make themselves miserable as well as everybody else around them. Would that the one person who thought the Challenger shouldn't fly that day was even more whinier than he was.

I think you're conflating two developmental areas: the ability to pressure test any situation and the ability to gauge the context of the situation and titrate your viewpoint accordingly.

The flip side to your issue is the fun guy who is able to come up with funny things in any situation even where it's inappropriate to crack a joke.

Having the ability to see what could go wrong or see the humor in things can be admirable traits. It's having the maturity to exercise those abilities according to the situation that may be at issue.

"Sigfreund, there's a piano about to fall on your head!"

How are you going to respond? "Oh, don't be such a Debbie Downer?"

I would suggest that if there is such a person in your life who is dispensing their gift inappropriately, as much as you can, give them the feedback to counterbalance their views. If you'd rather not deal with them or have them around, then don't. If they're being inappropriate, the world will give them feedback soon enough. But don't tamp down people's abilities that let them see the downsides of situations.

Thank you for that, but like some others, I believe you miss my primary point.

I understand jokes; I understand being demanding when appropriate; I understand finding and criticizing faults and shortcomings when they exist and again when it’s appropriate for us to do that. No sensible person will object to valid warnings or even the “What if?” cautions. Some endeavors should have people whose only job is to look for and caution about bad possibilities. My job involves activities with people carrying and using real guns. I try to never forget the possible consequences of what that means, and to continually look for the What ifs.

This complaint is about the totally gratuitous comments that are inserted in thread after thread here that start off as something for most (read: “normal”) people to find a bit of pleasure or at least satisfaction in for some reason. I also expressed that complaint in the thread about the blizzard rescue. Three posters in succession immediately expressed the opinion that the man who did the right thing should remain anonymous because something bad was about to happen to him as a result of having done the right thing.

“Yay! Good for you. Oh, wait, these Internet pundits think you need to hide rather than be celebrated; yeah, sucks to be you cause they got your picture. I’ll remember that if I’m in a similar situation where I could help others in a dangerous situation. Every man for himself: Edmond Burke was an idiot, and not the one who was about to be sent to the gulag for breaking and entering.”

I don’t normally record things I notice so I can trot them out later in discussions like this, but that example is fresh enough for me to remember clearly. And I have seen countless examples of similar comments over the years. Someone is going to get fired, sued, incarcerated, not fired, not sued, not incarcerated despite the best of contrary reasons for whatever will or will not happen. And to reiterate, I’m not objecting to such comments when there is good justification for them, but usually there is not.

Moreover, I never see anyone fess up afterwards and say, “Yeah, I pulled that prediction straight out of my ass with no independent basis; I’ll try not to be so stupid in the future.” In one recent post someone mentioned that people should eat crow for their stupid Internet comments. If everyone who made some idiotic proposal or prediction on the Internet with absolutely no basis other than the desire to exercise their keyboard fingers had to do that, those poor crows would have long been extinct.

But to be clear, this thread is almost entirely about things I see here. Open a thread, start reading, and there it is: a pile of negative shit to try to pass over without paying too much attention other than to note, “Oh, yeah: that guy again.” As for the “ignore” advice, I do most of my browsing without being logged in, and ignore doesn’t work.

In any event, I don’t have anyone like that in my real life. I was recently criticized for being too proud of my intelligence, so accuse me of that, I’ll accept it: I and the people I associate with on more than a casual basis are too intelligent to be like that, or are at least smart enough to know that if they are like that they won’t be an associate of mine very long. And if that puts anyone’s knickers in a twist, do you know about the “ignore” function?

Edited for clarity.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sigfreund,

I grew up in a family like that. I couldn't wait to get out of there. It took me a few years to quit doing that myself. But I'm all better now.

To answer your question sigfreund, it is a horrible way to go thru life. Let me expand.

I grew up as a lower middle class kid in San Diego, CA. Being Indian/White, I grew up with the majority of my friends being Black, Mexican, Phillipino, whatever. I was usually the minority in school, although not seen that way. So, perhaps my view of what you are asking might be jaded.

About the time I turned 13-14, I really had 'had enough'. My attitude reflected this. I just didn't care. It seemed as if everything around was tainted, tarnished, or just trashed. Of course, I was involved in fights, lashed out against authority, and made myself out to be the lost soul.

As you can imagine, it is a tortured life. Always seeing the bad in everything, expecting the worst, and just being a downtrodden person. When the bad did happen, or the worst was seen, it was a sort of euphoric event, knowing you were right. But, it didn't happen often, only when catastrophic events in your life occured. Thinking back on it, it was difficult to overcome.

What I came to realize was that many events are out of my control. What I needed, and sought, was patience. I needed the time to think things through, and not react right then and there. This has been my guiding light through the last 30 years, and has allowed me to think things through, before reacting. And....it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I still think it is today. I feel an inside angering knowing this as I type. Ultimately, I believe the letting loose is a way to express yourself without checking yourself, and you never know that when you do, who'll hurt or where your emotions will lead you next. So, I try to control these things.

I started this backing away from the "negativity" in my mid 20s. I would like to think I am better person now because of that.

Hope that makes sense.

It does make sense for a situation like that, and because it wasn't ever anything I had to endure, I do have admiration for those who were able to overcome it even though I can only dimly understand what it was really like.