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I also went to the ER recently and... (Bad News Bears pages 4, 37) (Bad Ass Family Photo page 49) (CT Scan Update page 59) Login/Join 
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"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."

--Sir Winston Churchill

"The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose."

--James Earl Jones



 
Posts: 6499 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: August 31, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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Do you ever have those where you just aren't feeling it?
That day is today for me.

I went to church and my mind was just not there.
Then I came home in a funk.
Then I thought after 33 days, maybe I would try a cigarette.
I lit one up and 2 puffs later, I'm just not feeling that either and put it out.
I waited 10 minutes and thought I should be able to feel it and choke one down so I lit another, same thing, 2 puffs and put it out.

So much for going back to smoking, I don't feel that either.

Whatever it is today, I'm just not feeling it, regardless what "it" may be, I am just not here today and definitely not feeling it.
Just wish I knew what "it" is today, cuz it just ain't there for me... today anyway.

I feel a migraine coming on, so I will take an Aleve and go lie down.
I don't like days like today where I'm not feeling it.
It's a good thing such days are relatively few and far between in my life.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of erj_pilot
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Hang in there sir. Must be something in the air, as my energy level is REALLY low today for some reason as well. It's beautiful weather here, so I don't know what my problem is.

But we've got your back!! Lifting you up, brother!!



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
 
Posts: 3962 | Location: NW Houston | Registered: April 04, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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There are some issues that bothering me currently.

I made the statement to one of my friends that there is the possibility I may not go to Heaven.
This apparently bothered them enough that they told someone else I know about it and they came to me concerned that my faith may need a boost or something.
They quoted some scriptures about I am saved and I know all that.
But here is the rub:
As long as one is still alive, there is always the possibility that one's faith can be broken or be downright cast off or denied in someway.

I am right of course and they are wrong, not that it matters who is right and wrong, more that there is a right and wrong here.
I know what I know, I know how one's life can change on a dime.

Next up: Healing

OK, yes, God has given me a miracle in the sense that my health is better.
But some will tell me I will heal completely.
That may be true or it may not be true.
However, I did not convert in late July with the expectation of physical healing.
And I am not listening to anyone who thinks my physical healing from God is a test or determination of how strong and complete my faith is, whether I believe in Him enough that I will be physically healed, or that my faith is not strong enough and that I won't be physically healed.
No, I am not listening to that.
God may or may not heal me physically in total. He doesn't have to IMO.
MY Faith is not measured by how much or how little I am physically healed.

I converted last July to bolster my Faith in Christ and heal me spiritually.
That's what I am after, that's what is the most important to me.
The real test of my Faith will be when God does not heal me physically.
With the recent better health I am enjoying, God has proved to me He can heal.
That's good enough for me, to know He has such Power, not that He use it for me.

That is how this all goes with me.
I am not backing down on this despite what some may tell me.

Sometimes I think people get to hung up in asking God for every day physical worldly things. Or maybe my life has been so blessed I rarely have had to ask for things of this world.
Sure, I have asked for physical healing and all, but that is a secondary thing to my spirit, my spirit being primary, always.

I don't know, sometimes I wonder if it is me being shallow or them being such.
Not that that part matters but still.

I know what is deep and and meaningful and what isn't.
Maybe I have this all wrong, but I don't think so.
On second thought, I have it right and I know it.

Pastor is right:
Sometimes people should just shut up and praise God.

I have pontificated enough I guess, I'll step off my soapbox... for now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: lbj,


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of signewt
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quote:
Whatever it is today, I'm just not feeling it, regardless what "it" may be, I am just not here today and definitely not feeling it.
Just wish I knew what "it" is today, cuz it just ain't there for me... today anyway.


reminds of the sensation new to me circa 1967 late in college when I was introduced to a movie "Lost Weekend" (Ray Milland) by a professor in a Friday history class, and to something called a 'boilermaker' that evening at a little social gathering. As I recovered from the one while watching the other, it seemed to be some kind of Grand Instruction to me.

The (temporary) loss of Things Important in my life, was at the time quite discomforting. It took a few days to return to a more balanced place. Obviously not comparing the two events but recognize the sensation.


COTEP # 362
The problem is that we stopped drinking from the skulls of our vanquished enemies.
 
Posts: 7361 | Location: sunny Orygun | Registered: September 27, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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They might equate, I dunno.

I guess I should be grateful that people care about me and might want to help. So I am grateful.
But still.
Someone asked me a question and the resulting fiasco was a bit over the top.

That said, I have always admitted to being a small and petty person at times.
Perhaps today is a prime example, but I am not sure.
If I am not sure, then I am typically right about the issue at hand.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of erj_pilot
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I found a few verses for you, lbj. They really hit home with me...

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
- 1 Timothy 6:12

Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.
- John 3:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
- Psalm 34:18

Be lifted up, my brother. I hope you have a GREAT week!!

Oh...ETA...I have the Bible app on my iPad and it has all kinds of wonderful study plans for pretty much ANY mood you're in or trial you're experiencing. If you don't have it, I highly recommend it. The plans are short and each day's study will take 20 minutes or less. It's just a good way to stay connected to God without spending hours trying to discover Him or yourself.



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
 
Posts: 3962 | Location: NW Houston | Registered: April 04, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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I don't think my Sanyo flip phone from 2006 will handle apps.
But thanks.
I could use my laptop though.

I am still in a funk today, not sure what is going on.
It's probably the no smoking thing.
I really did love it, I didn't give it up because I hated it or wanted to improve my health.
It was given up as a spiritual thing.

I had no idea such would much that part up.
Geez. Totally unexpected and the opposite of what I had figured on.

I used to think others around me who believe knew more than me, especially since they seem to know scriptures as quotes anyway.

It appears to me now that my previous religious training, and resulting faith that lasted until this new conversion, had apparently taught me a great a deal.
God has been with me a lot longer than I initially thought, given a more thorough trip down memory lane and much introspection.

Given the crash course I set upon back in July, a lot of my future learning is going to have be in a "personal" relationship and understanding of Christ, not from others.

I guess it would be easier to sit back and let others do the work and get the cookie cutter thing going.
But that isn't going to work for me and given all my recent readings and videos, I can see my walk with Jesus will need to be tailored in a personal way and a personal exploration with God.
My guess is that's the best way.

I still need the church I belong to and they have helped a lot.

It's just that there is more to this than any church can offer and I need to get on with it. The personal walk and journey part I mean.

My new church has definitely helped me see this and encourages personal journey.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of erj_pilot
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You have the majority figured out. God isn't about "religion"...He is about a personal relationship and you're smack-dab right on top of that. If you don't have an iPad, try this website to see if it helps...

https://www.bible.com/

Though I haven't used the version online (just on my iPad), it appears to have the same functionality. Create an account and go from there.

Also, do not be hesitant to speak to someone at your church for spiritual and psychological guidance. Let them know what you're going through in terms of quitting smoking and that you're in a funk. They should be waiting and willing to help. If you can't find someone individually to talk to, join a support group in your church, if such groups exist. If not, maybe this is your calling to start one.

You know we all support and care about you here, just as I'm sure your wonderful family does. If you don't mind shooting me your mailing address to my e-mail (in my profile), I have something that might help. All the best, sir!



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
 
Posts: 3962 | Location: NW Houston | Registered: April 04, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

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Thanks.
And on top of that, everyone in the family has been sick but me the last 2 weeks.
Lots of hacking and things.

I finally have it this morning.
Not good.
Not what I need right now.

When I go down for the count, in all honesty, so does the family.

That's why I have been on strike at home the last month.
I am watching them not fend for themselves and it worries me.

Other than immediate they are sick things and need certain things, I went on strike as a message to them that everything is not always about getting, you have to contribute your part too.
I have not been happy to have done this but I needed to shake them up.
I could be wrong but it seems to me they are taking my restored health as a permanent condition and I am quick to remind them it may be temporary and not to count on it forever.

We seem to do that a lot as humans.
We want out of the wilderness.
Once out, we forget how bad that was and now that everything seems normal again, we go on about our lives based on our old ways.
It's so easy to do.
I need to do better than rinse and repeat.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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Sometimes in life, we need to be taken down a peg or two.
What had been easy has become difficult.

I did fine with the no smoking without cheating for the first 35 days.
Then I got sick and still do not feel well.
That was enough for me to cheat.

Oh well, a good humbling is good for all of us.
I guess.

More disappointing than that, I typically go to church on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays.
Or on vacation, just Sundays.

I have the flu or something and had balance issues last night so I decided not to risk myself or others and decided driving was a bad idea.
Therefore I missed service last night, for the first time since late July.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Again, just because.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

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I was thinking today of an expression my father used to use:

Son, if you are going to be an asshole, you might as well be a perfect one.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of erj_pilot
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Or just become a proctologist and then you can make EVERYONE a perfect asshole. Big Grin

Hope you feel better soon!!



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
 
Posts: 3962 | Location: NW Houston | Registered: April 04, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

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I was sitting here thinking just now that I have to re-quit cigarettes before cheating gets out of hand.
And if I don't do it, I might get sick and like die or something.
Oh wait.

^^^
Seriously, that's how my mind works.
I thought it was funny, it made me laugh.
Ha!

Am I laughing at myself or with myself.
They are different.
I'm thinking a little of both.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
It's not easy being me
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I literally laughed out loud after reading your post above.
Your thought process demonstrates your positive nature!
And, you're correct. Cigarettes ARE really, really bad for you! You really need to re-quit!!


_______________________________________
Flammable, Inflammable, or Nonflammable.......
Hell, either it Flams or it doesn't!! (George Carlin)
 
Posts: 2001 | Location: Middle TN | Registered: March 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

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I am happy someone thought it was funny, I did.
Thanks.


The last few days I feel closer to God again than I have since I began this supposed quitting of cigarettes that hasn't worked out yet.
That was a little over a month ago.
Quitting of cigarettes quite literally blinded me from my spiritual being.

From some posts of mine above, it is clear to me that was the case.
Now that some cheating has happened by smoking, I feel a bit "broken" is the best word I can use to describe how I feel.
Presto! My feeling of God's presence is back.

Now how can this be?

I have been thinking and praying this morning regarding a whole host of things.
I have come to the conclusion God somehow likes us to be broken and humbled a bit.
Because that's what's happened to me the last few days and I can feel Him again and the spiritual fast I had has abated for now.

I have heard of God's preference that we come to Him a little broken and humbled.
I think I understand now.

What lesson will I learn next?
There is always another lesson waiting for me on the horizon.
Yeah, I can sense it.
The road forever goes.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

Picture of lbj
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I found myself at Cracker Barrel tonight observing all the old folks present as per usual, you know, the over sixties crowd.

Then it struck me, I am the average age demographic of Cracker Barrel.
It's official, I have gotten old.


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Moderator
Picture of arcwelder76
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Forgive me if I've posted this already, I may have, due to the length of this thread. It was a fun day, and the only time we've met.



You're a good man. You're in my thoughts, typically holding a Desert Eagle, on the range, in CT.


Arc.
______________________________

"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash

"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman

 
Posts: 23766 | Location: Love that dirty water, oh | Registered: June 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Admin/Odd Duck

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That must have been 2004?
I need to find that old shirt, those scorpions glowed in the dark.

Today is Sunday.
How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBD18rsVJHk

We sing this song at our church, except for the Trinity verse, which makes sense as we are Oneness Pentecostals.
Or heretics as some might call us.
I always feel the need to be a rebel.
What's up with that?


____________________________________________________
New and improved super concentrated me:
Proud rebel, heretic, and Pentecostal.


There is iron in my words of death for all to see.
So there is iron in my words of life.

 
Posts: 30646 | Registered: February 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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