Jet boat!!
... Sorry dad.

Lookit the size of those maggots!

Nobodys blowing anything out their ass!

BASTARD!!! BASTARD!!!
He wants to go faster.

What’s the old ‘96er?

Go find yourself a spin cycle.

Good evening.

How's it going? Listen, girls... uh... as your father, I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight on the validity of the tale which Uncle Chet shared with us this evening. I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing for kids like yourselves.

I know that, because I had a similar experience with my uncle Roy and a story he used to tell, about a family who went into the woods and was attacked by a band of escaped Army psychiatric patients who'd been subjected to violent, hellish, torturous behavior-modification experiments. It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the Army kept them in, found his family in the woods, fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them.

Now that story - phew - it gave me nightmares not to be believed.

Well I thought that Uncle Chet's story upset you in the same way. I'm here to say that there actually is NO bear, and that all that Uncle Chet was saying was just a yarn... spinning for our... entertainment.

And even if there were a bear out there, I'm in the house. To protect you. So uh... no more thinking about bears. Alright? No more thinking about unpleasant things. We're gonna close our eyes and dream about nice things. About cuddly, soft, fluffy things. Okay? Super. Good night. Sleep tight.



-----------------------------------

quote:

Originally posted by benny6:
What’s the old ‘96er?

“There’s nothing left on that plate but gristle and fat.”

BIG BEAR CHASE ME!!!

Chet is going to shit a solid gold brick when he sees us!

S-s-s-s-s-s-s-sixy-six times.

You twist it, you twist it! To simulate kindling!

The bear should have got an Academy Award. I thought the scene where he broke down the door and then jumped up and down on Candy was great.

"How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hot dogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!"

They're not worms, they're leeches.

Sorry. I seem to have missed the beginning of this. (Was there a beginning?)

flashguy

Several years ago my adult sons and I spent a week on a rented houseboat at a huge lake in Minnesota. Like a camper on pontoons! Cruising, fishing, tie up for the night on the shoreline, adult beverages authorized.

It was great! With rental, fuel, groceries, beverages figured in I think it cost less than a week in a decent motel. We did it without wives and kids, so your experience may be different.

Bartender: He's been struck by lightning... how many times has it been now, Reg?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-six.
Chet: Six times?
Reg: S-s-s-six-six-six-six-six-six-sixty-sixty-six times. In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n the head.
Chet: Sixty six times? God, that's gotta hurt.