Rather than clutter up the Deadwood movie thread with this, I thought I'd start one where people can post JUST their favorite quotes from Deadwood.


I'll start, my favorite pair were EB Farnum and Richardson:


"I caught you, Richardson! Stuffin' spitbacks in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty.' Is that your fuckin' attitude?"
"You hurted me!"
"Shhh! Wash and stack, shit monkey, or ready yourself for worse."

Bullock: "Will I find you've got a knife on you?"

Swearengen: "I won't need no fucking knife."

Francis Wolcott : This oatmeal looks old.

E.B. Farnum : It does, doesn't it? Richardson, Goddamn you! The oatmeal is clotted.

Richardson : Well, it's 45 minutes yet till the three hours.

E.B. Farnum : Stop spouting gibberish and replace the damned oatmeal.

^^^ I absolutely loved E.B. and Richardson's interactions, and E.B.'s way of speaking in general.

Well, someone has to say it; might as well be me.

Ellsworth: Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie.

Al Swearengen: You can't slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve.

This one, though:

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Bullock: "Will I find you've got a knife on you?"

Swearengen: "I won't need no fucking knife."

Straight from the bastard who pulled his knife when he was losing the fight

Swearengen. Also like Bullock and Dan Dority.

Joanie Stubbs is a treat. "let's go inside my pussy's getting cold"

Really no bad characters or miss matches in the show.

Al to Dolly-
Saying I like you hefty doesn't mean you couldn't stand to lose a couple of fuckin pounds.

Al Swearengen:

“Bad news or tries against our interests is our sole communications from strangers, so let’s by all means plant poles across the land and festoon the cocksuckers with wires to hurry the sorry word and blinker our judgments of motive.”

E.B. When he saw the Reverend going into Als.

Tit licker!!

Think it was Wu episode.

Motherfucker

“I am having a digestive crisis and must focus on suppressing its expression.”

Al to Joanie: Pardon my French (after dropping the 'F' bomb)

Joanie to Al: Oh...I speak French (sexy as hell)

I think this is my favorite from all episodes.

“Pain or damage don’t end the world, or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you’re dead. Until then, you’ve got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man and give some back.”

I love any quote that has Hoople Head in it. Especially when Al says fucking Hoople Heads.

Wild Bill Hickok:
You know the sound of thunder, don't you, Mrs. Garrett?

Alma Garrett:
Of course.

Wild Bill Hickok:
Can you imagine that sound if I asked you to?

Alma Garrett:
Yes I can, Mr. Hickok.

Wild Bill Hickok:
' Your husband and me had this talk, and I told him to head home to avoid a dark result. But I didn't say it in thunder. Ma'am, listen to the thunder.

The most epic conversation between Al and Wu:

Mr. Wu: Au. Ho... Heyan.

Al: And these two.

Mr. Wu: Bok Gwai Lo... cocksucka!

Al: Yeah, glad I taught you that fuckin' word. These are whites, huh?

Mr. Wu: uh, white cocksucka! (Pulls out dope bag)

Al: Two white cocksuckers killed him and stole the dope that he was bringing to you.

Mr. Wu: White cocksucka! You, Swe'gen (gestures to the bag and Al)

Al: The dope that you were gonna fuckin' sell to me?

Mr. Wu: White cocksucka.

Al: These two white cocksuckers? Who the fuck did it?

Mr. Wu: Wu!

Al: Who, you ignorant fuckin' chink!

Mr. Wu: Wu?!

Al: Who?! Who?! Who stole the fucking dope?!

Mr. Wu: Cocksucka!

Al: Aw, Jesus.

Calamity Jane made me laugh more than anybody else.

"I don't drink where I'm the only one who has any balls."

"You are not my target but keep fuckin' bothering me and I'll add you to the list."

"I burnt my fuckin' snatch."

In the Mr. Wu episode Al is having E.B. count the money for the bribes in Yankton sp? It's not so much as what Al says but the look on his face watching E.B., cracks me up everytime.

Al Swearengen: As damp as your hands are, why do you continuously lick your fuckin' thumb?
E.B.: Habit, I suppose.
Al Swearengen: Could you learn the habit of lickin' a fuckin' stump?