Let's hear your favorite lines from M*A*S*H

"That sun-of-a-bitch just stole my Jeep".

How’s it going Ferret Face....

They’re hunting socks sir.

At this time of night?

Insanity is just a state of mind

Hey Frank, that's a nasty cut under your nose. You should let that heal.



Somebody cut off the legs. They’ll burn anything to keep warm, sir.

I know but to cut off a man’s legs and steal his drawers…

Sincerity? I can fake that.

"You're not smart, you're stupid. Very, very stupid. But you've met your match in me."

Did Hawkeye steal that jeep?

No sir, that's the one he came in.

Hot Lips: Oh my God! They've shot him!
Colonel Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop! It's the end of the quarter.

"Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion."

COL Flagg ("interrogating" Burns about Margaret's disappearance): So you hit her over the head with a blunt instrument.

Hunnicutt: A saxaphone.

* COL Flagg bits were the best.

When Flagg jumped out the window after saying he’s like the wind. Then,,
There’s a muffled moan, then Hawkeye says, I think the wind broke his leg.

Hawkeye: (presenting new nurses with a care package) ..and shampoo.
BJ: (interrupting) Because we couldn't find any real poo.

Ladies and gentleman, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

"Any mindless baboon can see she isn't here, including me." Major Frank Burns.

This jocularity is most unseemly.

Colonel Potter: Klinger why are you wearing a dress!!
Klinger: It's spring, Sir!!

Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team.