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Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted March 28, 2017 11:39 AM
Oh he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10785 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
posted March 28, 2017 11:50 AMHide Post
Her first baby come out sideways. She didn't scream or nuthin.
 
Posts: 10851 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No good deed
goes unpunished
Picture of cheesegrits
posted March 28, 2017 01:16 PMHide Post
People train runs outta S-S-Stubbville.
 
Posts: 2705 | Location: The Carolinas | Registered: June 08, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Conductor in Residence
Picture of Maestro
posted March 28, 2017 05:57 PMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Her first baby come out sideways. She didn't scream or nuthin.


She's a real trooper!
 
Posts: 3703 | Location: Tampa Bay, FL | Registered: July 23, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rule #1: Use enough gun
Picture of Bigboreshooter
posted March 28, 2017 06:02 PMHide Post
"Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it."



When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. Luke 11:21


"Every nation in every region now has a decision to make.
Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." -- George W. Bush

 
Posts: 14826 | Location: Birmingham, Alabama | Registered: February 25, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
Picture of Floyd D. Barber
posted March 28, 2017 06:02 PMHide Post
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?

Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!

Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.

Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?

Neal: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.

Neal: Oh boy, what?

Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!


__________________________________________________________________________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 7353 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rule #1: Use enough gun
Picture of Bigboreshooter
posted March 28, 2017 06:09 PMHide Post
You play with your balls a lot.



When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. Luke 11:21


"Every nation in every region now has a decision to make.
Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." -- George W. Bush

 
Posts: 14826 | Location: Birmingham, Alabama | Registered: February 25, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
Picture of Floyd D. Barber
posted March 28, 2017 06:35 PMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Bigboreshooter:
You play with your balls a lot.


You know what'd make me happy?

Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?


__________________________________________________________________________________
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 7353 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted March 28, 2017 06:43 PMHide Post
Those aren't pillows!!!


___________________________
"Those that can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..."
 
Posts: 724 | Location: NE Iowa | Registered: October 30, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rule #1: Use enough gun
Picture of Bigboreshooter
posted March 28, 2017 06:43 PMHide Post
If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?



When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. Luke 11:21


"Every nation in every region now has a decision to make.
Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." -- George W. Bush

 
Posts: 14826 | Location: Birmingham, Alabama | Registered: February 25, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get my pies
outta the oven!

Picture of PASig
posted March 28, 2017 11:57 PMHide Post
Del: I can't forget it. I am sorry. I had no idea it was your cab. Let me make it up to you. How about a nice hot dog and a beer.
Neal: No thanks.
Del: Just a hot dog then.
Neal: I'm kinda picky about what I eat.
Del: Some coffee?
Neal: No.
Del: Milk?
Neal: No.
[becoming more annoyed]
Del: Soda?
Neal: No.
[annoyance rising]
Del: Tea?
Neal: No
Del: LifeSavers?
Neal: No.
Del: Slurpee?
Neal: Sir - please.
Del: Just let me know. I'm here.
[smiles, shaking his finger at Neal]
Del: I knew I knew ya!


 
Posts: 35592 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Probably on a trip
Picture of furlough
posted March 29, 2017 01:57 AMHide Post
What do you think the temperature is?

One.




This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears above ground he is a protector.
Plato
 
Posts: 1786 | Location: Texas! | Registered: June 13, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Probably on a trip
Picture of furlough
posted March 29, 2017 02:00 AMHide Post
Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?

Yes sir, I do.




This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears above ground he is a protector.
Plato
 
Posts: 1786 | Location: Texas! | Registered: June 13, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get my pies
outta the oven!

Picture of PASig
posted March 29, 2017 02:34 PMHide Post


Del:
I've got two dollars and a Casio.

Hotel Clerk:
I'm afraid I'm going to have to say goodnight...


 
Posts: 35592 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back, and
to the left
Picture of 83v45magna
posted March 31, 2017 02:36 PMHide Post
There ya go. Last room in the complex.

You mean Sh-share?
 
Posts: 7546 | Location: Dallas | Registered: August 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of side_shot
posted March 31, 2017 03:12 PMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Floyd D. Barber:
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?

Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!

Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.

Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?

Neal: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.

Neal: Oh boy, what?

Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!


I love it


"They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
--Benjamin Franklin, 1759--


Special Edition - Reverse TT 229ST.Sig Logo'd CTC Grips., Bedair guide rod

 
Posts: 1245 | Location: New Hampshire "Live Free or Die"  | Registered: September 02, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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