Now that people are seeing it, discussion with spoilers.

I wanted to punch a baby the first half, but I did like the end. It's not a damn comedy! A few witty lines is OK but they tried too much.

I actually liked Snoke, what a dick, as he should be. The whole casino bullshit needed to go. There was some bad CGI and some lame costumes, and Luke was very uneven.

I want to punch Rian Johnson for absolutely ruining the Star Wars universe. Did he truly watch any of the films? Even JJ Abrams showed us that he loved the franchise. This guy? Fuck him. Even midi-chlorians were forgivable, but not this film.
All those positive reviews? Written by millennials most likely.

I hated pretty much everything about this film, but mostly:

Luke was an absolute waste.

No background on Snoke.

Lightly touched on Luke's Jedi temple.

Leia flying back to the ship.

Casting Laura Dern was a huge mistake.

The casino scene/giant rabbits. Seriously?

The Disney-esque ending with the force-sensitive kid.

The comedy...way too much.

Absolutely nothing was resolved, other than Snoke and Luke dying. It's like the final season of Dexter, or Mad Men. I just want it to end for good.

Just some questions


1) gravity bombs. In space. With level flight bombers. Think about that. How fucking stupid was that

2). Where was Finn going to take that escape pod? That had no hyperspace capability. In a system that, at the time, they didn't know had a planet. It would have been castaway in space. "Day 4, finished eating Po's jacket. It was delicious. Must now drink my own urine."

3). The whole casino storyline didn't have to happen. It sucked. It was like Disney combined their animated classic "spirit" with pod racing and somehow came up with something worse than that sounds. What? Sure we will just leave our ship here. What? Sure we will trust this random dude we met IN PRISON to save the Galaxy...which didn't have to happen because.....

4). Why not fucking tell Po about the plan with the shuttles? Hey Po, we are going to cloak the shuttles and head to this secret rebel base. Oh, ok, cool. Then I don't have to rely on this dumbass bullshit plan of mine. That also means we don't have to have the whole mutiny. It also means that the prisoner my dumbass friends trusted wouldn't be on the first order ship to ruin the plan either

5). The Kylo/Rey storyline was like someone sat down and said "hey, we need a huge light saber battle, but it can't be the Rey versus Kylo because that was done in 7....what if we get them to fight together against samurai! Thst would be awesome, make it happen. Well, why are they fighting together, is Kylo good? No he has to be the bad guy in 9? Ok, well is Rey bad? She is the good guy in 9. Well, shit, we will make it work!"

6). Speaking of Snoke, he is this super badass with the force, but he doesn't know the saber is being turned toward him? Give me a fucking break. For two years people have speculated about Snoke, and who was he? A plot device to get the aforementioned light saber battle on screen. 2 years of wondering who he was for....nothing...like Rey's parents....nothing...plot device

7). I was done with the whole Luke being a pussy storyline after the first 15 minutes. I get it. It sucked. Pull your shit together. They made Luke, the most whiny character in the universe, MORE whiny...like, millennial whiny

8). There is an animal on. Every. Fucking. Planet. Look how cute. Look how sad. Look how pretty. The animals actually save more people than the actual people do. Disney basically interjected Bambi, Spirit and Cinderella into a Star Wars movie

9). Of course none of this shit would have been necessary at all. As it turns out, you can shoot a ship at light speed through other ships and basically destroy a fleet. Well that's good to fucking know. Any fucking reason you didn't do that with the medical frigate before it ran out of gas in the very fucking beginning?

10). Only the lead ship has a tracker. Why. Why does does only the lead ship have a tracker. That's like if the second Death Star had the same exhaust port as the first level of dumb


The part I swore I would fucking lose my shit over, if they killed Luke Skywalker, was the only part of the movie they actually got right (his final fight with Kylo and subsequent "death". And Chewbacca.



As you can tell, I hated this turd of a movie. For the first time, in my whole life, I don't actually really want to see the next one.

Good write-up, Kevbo.

And why the hell didn't they use Luke's green lightsaber from ROTJ? He shows up to fight Ren and he doesn't notice that Luke is holding the lightsaber that was destroyed a few minutes before after the samurai battle?

Thank you, I knew there was something I forgot....I don't even understand the impetus to use the blue saber then anyway....I honestly thought that it meant Luke's green saber got destroyed during the Jedi academy incident with Kylo

quote:

Originally posted by agony:
Good write-up, Kevbo.

And why the hell didn't they use Luke's green lightsaber from ROTJ? He shows up to fight Ren and he doesn't notice that Luke is holding the lightsaber that was destroyed a few minutes before after the samurai battle?

Well I didn’t like TFA much at all so maybe I will love this. I loathed how Lucas wasted Darth Maul in one film, and it sounds like Luke is wasting away on this one too.

I agree with all things said here. The best scene was the jump to light speed through Snooks frigate. But then, yeah..... why isn't that a standard tactic when you're about to lose every ship in the fleet one by one.

The entire island portion was garbage. What the FUCK was that milk thing all about. Gawd. It's like it was added JUST for the memes that will be sure to follow for all of internet eternity.

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:
I agree with all things said here. The best scene was the jump to light speed through Snooks frigate. But then, yeah..... why isn't that a standard tactic when you're about to lose every ship in the fleet one by one.

The entire island portion was garbage. What the FUCK was that milk thing all about.

The island establishes her legitimacy just like little Annie. You know, the midichlorians chose her. And Yoda says she already knows what's in the books.

Agree that they should have shown a failed attempt by the support ships.

Did anyone notice the curving shots of energy when attacking Leias's ship?

quote:

Where was Finn going to take that escape pod? That had no hyperspace capability. In a system that, at the time, they didn't know had a planet. It would have been castaway in space. "Day 4, finished eating Po's jacket. It was delicious. Must now drink my own urine."

Haven’t seen it. Don’t have a point of reference but holy crap this made me laugh.

I woke up grumpy, still pissed about this trainwreck of a movie.

Another thing that bugged me, was that there wasn't the "I have a bad feeling about this" line.

I still like Rogue One the best of the new ones...

I too woke up still pissed

And Rogue One is by far the best of the new 3

My rankings of all of them right now are

5,4, Rogue One, 6, 7, 3, 2, 8, 1

And it should be known. I hate the prequels. HATE

quote:

Casting Laura Dern was a huge mistake.

Yes she sucked, and her character was a waste. Either be a walked over wuss or a bad ass admiral, not both. How does an admiral allow that to happen? You tell Poe he doesn't need to fucking know and to STFU and follow orders and fuck off.

My rankings are:
R1,5,Clone Wars cartoon,3,6,4,7,2,Rebels Cartoon,1,8

I don't hate on the prequels. I never disliked them other than JarJar. Yeah the dialogue is horrid, the acting laughable at times, the overuse of CGI esp in AOTC was over-gratuitous. That said they have a cohesiveness and air of doom that makes the original trilogy that much more important. They also gave us very distinctive planets and environments from which to draw material. Hence why I included the Clone Wars cartoons. TFA at least gave us potential material for a complete series. This was all destroyed by TLJ.

quote:

Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:

quote:

Casting Laura Dern was a huge mistake.

Yes she sucked, and her character was a waste. Either be a walked over wuss or a bad ass admiral, not both. How does an admiral allow that to happen? You tell Poe he doesn't need to fucking know and to STFU and follow orders and fuck off.

Plus she seemed more like a character from the Hunger Games rather than Star Wars. Just terrible casting. She's not a great actress by any stretch. In every film she's ever been in she can't shake the blonde California bimbo routine.

Also, how the holy hell does Poe and Finn even know how to get in touch with Maz Kanata?

The problem with he prequels is the one and only thing they had to get right...why Anakin became
Vader...they got wrong.

It’s why 3 is so far down my list

Come to the dark side

No

Come to the dark side

No

Come to the dark side

Well, ok

Great, now that you’re here, go slaughter children

The entire galactic empire could have been avoided with proper pre-natal care and an ultrasound machine

And the Max Kanata shit was laughably bad. It’s like they thought “how can we
Pay homage to the trade federation from the prequels” and said “well we could introduce a union war for


God. It was so bad

And audiences are killing it. It’s just more proof that rotten tomatoes is absolutely in Disney’s pocket

The Last Jedi gets worse audience reviews than the justice league

And they’re right. Justice league was better

Yeah I thought it stunk. The Kylo Rey fight scene was boring. Even the dude from Schindler’s list can swing a light saber better than that.

quote:

Originally posted by Shaql:

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:
I agree with all things said here. The best scene was the jump to light speed through Snooks frigate. But then, yeah..... why isn't that a standard tactic when you're about to lose every ship in the fleet one by one.

The entire island portion was garbage. What the FUCK was that milk thing all about.

The island establishes her legitimacy just like little Annie. You know, the midichlorians chose her. And Yoda says she already knows what's in the books.

Agree that they should have shown a failed attempt by the support ships.

Did anyone notice the curving shots of energy when attacking Leias's ship?

yup, I noticed the curve/lob shots. That was lame!

I'm not waiting twenty years like some people in the news nowadays, I'm gonna come out and say it....yesterday, Rian Johnson touched my lightsaber inappropriately. It hurts.