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Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.) Login/Join 
Drug Dealer
Picture of Jim Shugart
posted
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
 
Posts: 15529 | Location: Virginia | Registered: July 03, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of cne32507
posted Hide Post
If you are an American when you go into a bathroom, when you come out you are still an American. What are you while you are in the bathroom?
.
.
.
.
.
.
European
 
Posts: 2520 | Location: High Sierra & Low Desert | Registered: February 03, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Somewhat dated:
Whats black and grey and rolls around the parking lot of McDonalds?
Mr. T and a pigeon fighting over a french fry!


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Not sure if this is enough of a groaner, its been my favorite bad joke since Jr high. Big Grin

Q: How do you catch a Polar Bear?

A: You drill a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When he stops to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole.




“People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.” –Chuck Palahnuik

Be harder to kill: https://preparefit.ck.page
 
Posts: 5043 | Location: Oregon | Registered: October 02, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
posted Hide Post
What's long, brown, and sticky?
.
.
.
.
A stick.
 
Posts: 10851 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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How do snails fight?

They slug it out.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 53346 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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What did the Ewoks say after they ate Chewbacca's son?

He tasted a "little Chewy"
 
Posts: 7165 | Location: Treasure Coast,Fl. | Registered: July 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three on, one off
Picture of G-Man
posted Hide Post
What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint
 
Posts: 4466 | Location: Michigan | Registered: November 03, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Optimistic Cynic
Picture of architect
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I think I have posted this one before, but it was one of my father's favorites:

Have you heard the one about the three eggs?

Two bad.
 
Posts: 6876 | Location: NoVA | Registered: July 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eating elephants
one bite at a time
Picture of ffips
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Q: How do you tell when a clown farts?
A: It smells funny.


Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack.


Q: Why did the cookie go to the Dr.?
A: It felt crumby.


Q: Why was the baby strawberry sad?
A: His mom was in a jam.
 
Posts: 3586 | Location: in the southwest Atlanta metro area | Registered: September 10, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mark1Mod0Squid
Picture of Sigolicious
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What did the chicken say when she saw scrambled eggs?

Look at those crazy mixed up kids!


_____________________________________________
Never use more than three words to say "I don't know"



 
Posts: 2033 | Location: AZ | Registered: May 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Legalize the Constitution
Picture of TMats
posted Hide Post
What’s black, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?



A crow with a machine gun.


_______________________________________________________
despite them
 
Posts: 13684 | Location: Wyoming | Registered: January 10, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of PowerSurge
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I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone.


———————————————
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Psalm 14:1
 
Posts: 4039 | Location: Northeast Georgia | Registered: November 18, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
posted Hide Post
How do you put an astronaut baby to sleep?

Rocket.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 53346 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unhyphenated American
Picture of Floyd D. Barber
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A pregnant woman from Virginia was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!"

The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."

"Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"

The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Deniece."

"Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew."

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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

 
Posts: 7353 | Location: Between the Moon and New York City. | Registered: November 27, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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Q. Why do chicken coups have only 2 doors?


A. If they had 4 doors they would be a chicken sedan.
 
Posts: 10851 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted Hide Post
 
Posts: 28916 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?

WHEEEEEE!



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 13005 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
7.62mm Crusader
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From the Weekly Reader way back in grade school over 50 years ago...What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.
 
Posts: 17995 | Location: The Bluegrass State! | Registered: December 23, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
My other Sig
is a Steyr.
Picture of .38supersig
posted Hide Post
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?



 
Posts: 9448 | Location: Somewhere looking for ammo that nobody has at a place I haven't been to for a pistol I couldn't live without... | Registered: December 02, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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