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Drug Dealer |
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | ||
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Member |
If you are an American when you go into a bathroom, when you come out you are still an American. What are you while you are in the bathroom? . . . . . . European | |||
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Member |
Somewhat dated: Whats black and grey and rolls around the parking lot of McDonalds? Mr. T and a pigeon fighting over a french fry! End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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Member |
Not sure if this is enough of a groaner, its been my favorite bad joke since Jr high. Q: How do you catch a Polar Bear? A: You drill a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When he stops to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole. “People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.” –Chuck Palahnuik Be harder to kill: https://preparefit.ck.page | |||
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Still finding my way |
What's long, brown, and sticky? . . . . A stick. | |||
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Little ray of sunshine |
How do snails fight? They slug it out. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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Member |
What did the Ewoks say after they ate Chewbacca's son? He tasted a "little Chewy" | |||
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Three on, one off |
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint | |||
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Optimistic Cynic |
I think I have posted this one before, but it was one of my father's favorites: Have you heard the one about the three eggs? Two bad. | |||
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Eating elephants one bite at a time |
Q: How do you tell when a clown farts? A: It smells funny. Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: It got stuck in a crack. Q: Why did the cookie go to the Dr.? A: It felt crumby. Q: Why was the baby strawberry sad? A: His mom was in a jam. | |||
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Mark1Mod0Squid |
What did the chicken say when she saw scrambled eggs? Look at those crazy mixed up kids! _____________________________________________ Never use more than three words to say "I don't know" | |||
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Legalize the Constitution |
What’s black, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous? A crow with a machine gun. _______________________________________________________ despite them | |||
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Member |
I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone. ——————————————— The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Psalm 14:1 | |||
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Little ray of sunshine |
How do you put an astronaut baby to sleep? Rocket. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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Unhyphenated American |
A pregnant woman from Virginia was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!" The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you." "Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!" The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Deniece." "Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew." --------------------------------------------- __________________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M Nixon It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice. Billy Joe Shaver NRA Life Member | |||
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Still finding my way |
Q. Why do chicken coups have only 2 doors? A. If they had 4 doors they would be a chicken sedan. | |||
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His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm. |
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Age Quod Agis |
What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise? WHEEEEEE! "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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7.62mm Crusader |
From the Weekly Reader way back in grade school over 50 years ago...What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater. | |||
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My other Sig is a Steyr. |
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? | |||
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