SIGforum
Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)
May 28, 2019, 04:10 PM
Jim ShugartPost your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
May 28, 2019, 04:19 PM
cne32507If you are an American when you go into a bathroom, when you come out you are still an American. What are you while you are in the bathroom?
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European
May 28, 2019, 04:20 PM
YooperSigsSomewhat dated:
Whats black and grey and rolls around the parking lot of McDonalds?
Mr. T and a pigeon fighting over a french fry!
End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
May 28, 2019, 04:26 PM
StramboNot sure if this is enough of a groaner, its been my favorite bad joke since Jr high.
Q: How do you catch a Polar Bear?
A: You drill a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When he stops to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole.
“People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.” –Chuck Palahnuik
Be harder to kill:
https://preparefit.ck.page May 28, 2019, 04:35 PM
Ryanp225What's long, brown, and sticky?
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A stick.
May 28, 2019, 04:40 PM
jhe888How do snails fight?
They slug it out.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. May 28, 2019, 04:42 PM
patwWhat did the Ewoks say after they ate Chewbacca's son?
He tasted a "little Chewy"
May 28, 2019, 04:47 PM
G-ManWhat’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint
May 28, 2019, 05:05 PM
architectI think I have posted this one before, but it was one of my father's favorites:
Have you heard the one about the three eggs?
Two bad.
May 28, 2019, 05:07 PM
ffipsQ: How do you tell when a clown farts?
A: It smells funny.
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the Dr.?
A: It felt crumby.
Q: Why was the baby strawberry sad?
A: His mom was in a jam.
May 28, 2019, 05:11 PM
SigoliciousWhat did the chicken say when she saw scrambled eggs?
Look at those crazy mixed up kids!
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Never use more than three words to say "I don't know"
May 28, 2019, 05:14 PM
TMatsWhat’s black, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?
A crow with a machine gun.
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despite them
May 28, 2019, 05:15 PM
PowerSurgeI had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone.
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The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Psalm 14:1
May 28, 2019, 05:16 PM
jhe888How do you put an astronaut baby to sleep?
Rocket.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. May 28, 2019, 05:16 PM
Floyd D. BarberA pregnant woman from Virginia was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!"
The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."
"Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"
The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Deniece."
"Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew."
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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver
NRA Life Member
May 28, 2019, 05:25 PM
Ryanp225Q. Why do chicken coups have only 2 doors?
A. If they had 4 doors they would be a chicken sedan.
May 28, 2019, 05:30 PM
egregore
May 28, 2019, 05:31 PM
ArtieSWhat's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?
WHEEEEEE!
"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."
Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
May 28, 2019, 05:32 PM
David LeeFrom the Weekly Reader way back in grade school over 50 years ago...What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.
May 28, 2019, 05:33 PM
.38supersigWhat do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?