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... because he couldn't see that well | ||
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Drug Dealer |
  Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because she used the right one to moan with. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| Free men do not ask permission to bear arms  |
What did Stevie wonder say when his Bride undressed in front of him on their wedding night? Nothing he's blind. A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone. The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots. | |||
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| Did you come from behind that rock, or from under it?  |
The doorbell rings. The lady gets out of the shower and says, "Who is it?" A man's voice says, "Blind man." She's completely naked, but figures what the heck. She opens the door and there's a guy with a package. He looks her up and down, smiles, and says, "Lady, where do you want me to hang these blinds?" "Every time you think you weaken the nation" Moe Howard | |||
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A Grateful American |
What do you call a dog with no legs. Anything you want, he won't come anyway. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Eating elephants one bite at a time  |
Why are blind people now banned from skydiving? Scares the crap out of the dogs. | |||
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| A Grateful American |
It scares the seeing eye-dogs. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| A Grateful American |
Why can't Helen Keller drive? "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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Comic Relief |
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They’re really good at it. | |||
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| His diet consists of black coffee, and sarcasm.  |
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| 7.62mm Crusader |
What's big, red and, eats rocks? | |||
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Member |
What's the difference between pussy and parsley? Nobody likes parsley. Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows. Benjamin Franklin | |||
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| Eating elephants one bite at a time |
Can't reach the road behind the wheel. | |||
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Plowing straight ahead come what may |
What did the usher at Ford's theater ask? "Other than that Mrs. Lincoln...how did you enjoy the play?" ******************************************************** "we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet | |||
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Fly High, A.J. |
Because she's a woman. | |||
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| A Grateful American |
No. Because she's dead. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Fly High, A.J. |
How did Helen Keller burn her face? Answering the iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back. | |||
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| Fly High, A.J. |
What do you call a cow wih no legs? Ground beef. | |||
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Equal Opportunity Mocker |
How does a blind skydiver know when they're about to land? The leash goes slack. ________________________________________________ "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving." -Dr. Adrian Rogers | |||
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| Purveyor of Fine Avatars  |
If you date a blind person you don't have to worry about them seeing other people. "I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes" | |||
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