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| 186,000 miles per second. It's the law. |
Yup. Really rich folks I know (not me!) avoid Facebook. They do not want the exposure/liability. But I will say again, (to add to Para's comments about Facebook), get the hell off FB. ! Why even go there?? What is the value? | |||
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| Evil Asian Member |
Yes! After I dealt with the death of my father, and lately with many of my uncles and aunts passing away , I realized how much stuff we accumulate. Much of it junk and tchotchkes and unused items. It's all stuff that we can't take with us to the afterlife. Along with the stuff comes the stuff you to need to maintain and clean and store your stuff in. Sometimes you need storage units to store all your excess stuff. So much stuff to worry about! And then, if you have to move, it's an even bigger pain! I find it to be all a big headache. Dad's death really made me want to live simply. Ideally, I'd just want to live in one of those old empty zen Japanese rooms, with a straw mat and rice paper walls and a table with a persimmon on it in the center, and nothing else. Except a laptop. With wifi.  | |||
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Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie |
The "happiness" and the show of a perfect existence that most people express on Facebook is 90% illusion. Most are full of it. I stay off of it because it's boring and I really couldn't care less about your phony life you've plastered on the internet. For example, a friend of mine seemingly had it all according to facebook. Beautiful home, endless vacations, an always smiling, happy couple...it was all an illusion. She is now getting divorced. And just a week prior everyone was commenting on a picture of them how perfect and beautiful they were together. Oops. And the charade collapsed. And yes, most of the people in these huge homes can't afford them and are living paycheck to paycheck and still in debt up to their eyeballs. My wife and I are still in my little condo. We're desperately searching for a house now, but I want to make sure I can truly afford it and not be strapped down every month. I'm envious of these people in these beautiful homes too. It's natural. And let me tell you, living in an area where the average home is about $800,000 isn't helping much. But I know with patience and hard work, we'll get that house of our dreams. Keeping a huge house like that clean though is going to be a bitch... ~Alan Acta Non Verba NRA Life Member (Patron) God, Family, Guns, Country Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan | |||
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| Member |
I couldn't agree more. Too many people see others with more and automatically have negative thoughts about them to make themselves feel better and it just doesn't work. As the saying goes I've been broke and I been rich and rich is a whole lot better. When I see someone with clearly way more money than I have I don't let jelously creep in one bit. I tend to wonder what they do or how they went about getting to that point. There success has nothing to do with mine. Sure some people are financed out the ying yang but there are plenty of people that look like they spend every nickel they make but actually live quite conservatively for their income level so it doesn't help to speculate. | |||
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:^) |
The only thing you can take to the grave is the love of your family and your experiences in life. All material possessions that do not support the above is irrelevant. Besides, Coveting is a deadly sin  | |||
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| Member |
I think everyone gets a little envious but so long as you don't let it consume you I think you'll be OK. I get that way occasionally but then I consider my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has given me everything I need. I'm debt free, except my mortgage, have savings, getting a retirement check, so I have nothing to be envious about. Besides those you see in new homes and new cars and probably deep in debt to pay for those things. | |||
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Member |
Fakebook is an abomination. Half of the people on there, or more, are there just to front. It's all a facade. Close the account. I've put the blinders on when I was a kid and left them on since. I do not care about buying clothes, cars, or homes for image. Every car I've ever bought was for performance, handling, and every car purchase it's "How much?" then "Wow, you could have got X car for that!" X car was always the current image car. I always chose performwnce over luxury, sleepers vs. loud vehicles. I learned as a child, to make myself happy, don't pay attention to others, and that most people are just morons. All living for show. I knew I had one life and decided I was going to live it my way, not society's fake way To understand this phenomenon you need to understand marketing and advertising. Find a class on it locally, and take it. Or just checkout a text book on it from your local library. Read and study it cover to cover. You'll figure out much of American life is a big fat fucking facade, front, masquerade, charade. You'll figure out that most bragging, and posting photos of their "baller" new home, fancy vacation, or fancy car are neck deep in debt. High home payment, high car payment, and large credit card balances. Swimming in debt. They think, they must compete with the Joneses in their local society or on the WWW. And they'll sign any debt laden document to maintain their image, even going to the point of putting themselves in dire financial straights to do it. If you learn marketing and advertising you'll understand it's all a big shit show. I have nice things. A nice performance car, and some motorcycles. My own friends flip me shit like I'm balling. But they never could and never will make the connection that I sacrificed an awful lot for what I have. They look at what you have and assume you go out to eat all the time, go to concerts, the movies, the stick and ball games. People place you in their own mental box and don't understand anyone that lives differently. For my motorsports passion, well I rarely go out to eat. Once a week, and it's usually some $7 fish tacos. The days I'm in the office I brown bag/tupperware it. If I go to a bar it's once or twice a year. I don't buy or purchase anything that isn't premeditated. I also don't go on multiple k vacations, or fancy trips. So in short I spend my money on tangible things that I can use for the rest of my life. I rarely, if ever, just blow money on frivolous shit. I go to the movies once or twice a month and use $8 coupons I buy at Costco. Fun, I ride my motorcycles on the weekend, watch how much fuel I use, go on my friend's boat on the local lakes, chipping in as I'm sure as shit not buying a boat. Not eating out covers my motorcycles and I like to cook my own meals. Here is one example. Two guys in new Vettes, make it three guys. One guy, is in his 50's. He's a solid blue collar guy through and through. It has taken him 32 years to get to a point where he could afford his dream car, a new Corvette. He buys a mint CPO, and it is the purchase of his life. Worked his arse off 3 decades to afford it and he'll keep it until he is in the ground, washing it every week, taking care of it like it took him 30+ years to get because it did. The next guy you see in a Vette is a doctor, and the car is easily affordable, to the point he trades it in every 3 years for a new one, just because he can. Guy 3, is doucheville 101. His credit could barely get him in it, and he's got payments way over his head to the point that if he loses his job, anything happens financially, the car will be the first to go. This is the guy you see all over social media bragging about the house, vacation, or car. And this guy doesn't understand he is the biggest sucker in the world as it pertains to marketing and advertising. People like him, and they are common, every color, male, female, name it, will live their entire life based around this fake bullshit. Image is all that matters. They're so stupid they don't realize their entire life is a 1990's Andre Agassi Canon Eos Rebel camera advertisement. Marketing/advertising. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WpuFEpbE0d0 Don't fall for it, and don't let it affect you. Focus on your own marriage and family, your job, your church. Live your own life. It takes some horse blinders to do it. These days big fat ones as the image phenomenon has taken flight and invaded so much more than the past. Very social media influenced. I used to get pissed when women I was dating disproved of my vehicle, domicile, or whatever. These days I thank everyone of them for sparing me the time and money. Friends and colleagues, even family, if they are like this I drop them like a bad habit. Life is so short, focus on reality. What am I doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone | |||
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Now and Zen |
I'm reminded of a line from a song; "He was a million miles from million dollars, but you could never spend his wealth." ___________________________________________________________________________ "....imitate the action of the Tiger." | |||
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His Royal Hiney |
It's called priorities and it looks like you and your wife have it correctly. There'll always be richer people than you and poorer people than you. If you're not having to live paycheck to paycheck, you are miles ahead of everyone. "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946. | |||
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| Team Apathy |
Sometimes I get to feeling that way too when I see friends and family renovating houses and buying new cars on a regular basis. But, we choose to be a single income family like you. In our opinion the work the wife does at home is just as important as adding income. So her car is 10 years old and my truck is 17. Do I sometimes wish we had nicer vehicles and took nice vacations every year? Sometimes, sure. But then I remember all my coworkers with their nice trucks and the $700 monthly payment that comes with them. No. way. Ever. I don't make that much. The only way they can do is by working 20-30 hours OT every 2 weeks. My time with my family is worth far more than that. I chose my family over stuff. You sound the same. Sometimes we just need a reminder. | |||
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| No good deed goes unpunished  |
I think Artie has summed it up perfectly. Regarding FB, there has been more than one study that shows that FB can contribute to negative feelings such as envy and jealousy. Just something to consider. | |||
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E Plebmnista; Norcom, Forcom, Perfectumum. |
Just think of all the debt that those people have that they'll never get out from under. ================================================ Ultron: "You're unbearably naive." Vision: "Well, I was born yesterday." | |||
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Oriental Redneck |
10th Commandment - “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.” Q | |||
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| Go ahead punk, make my day |
What he said, FTW. | |||
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| I believe in the principle of Due Process  |
“Envy is a really stupid sin because it’s the only one you could never possibly have any fun at. There’s a lot of pain and no fun. Why would you want to get on that trolley?” -- Charles Munger, Sr. Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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| Member |
Ain't that the truth. I've been in sales for 20+ years, a big part of my job is working with the marketing folks and making sure the message and image correlates with whatever the hell we're selling. Do it long enough and it's amazing the number of suckers that live amongst us; give away anything away for free or, have big logos out there and the lemmings come in from miles around just to get their hands on your stuff. I'm usually quick to fire back a retort to anyone crapping on American society but, there's one thing I'll agree with, is we've got an awful lot of people here that get sucked in and brainwashed into all the marketing and advertisement to get people to buy things. Quick story, Disneyland Paris opened in in the mid-90's. Disney company thinking that it would be just like US & Tokyo locations, they loaded up all their stores and kiosks with all the merchandise. It took nearly 5-years for Disneyland Paris to sell-thru their initial run of opening day merchandise...the French don't buy souvenirs. I've been to France and stayed with friends, there's no magnets on the fridge, coffee mugs with witty phrases, or, cute salt/pepper shakers around. | |||
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Member |
Agree with sentiments above. I've struggled and continue to struggle with this somewhat. 1) People who seem wealthy but are not. AKA Hong Kong syndrome. No envy here at all. I actually feel sorry for them -- I feel that they have self-esteem issues. 2) People who are wealthy and show it. Mixed bag here. a) Some are wealthy and deservedly so. Those that are decent people, no issues. Those that are assholes, well, .... b) Some are wealthy but not really deserving. Don't really care other than assholes just bother me in general and this just makes them doubly annoying. Overall though, my wife always reminds that I should be happy as I am for I am relatively blessed. Just always do my best and, fair or not, whatever the outcome, be happy. Our lives are probably better than 90% of the world's population. Be content with that. I try to focus on my daily objective: that my wife be able to live comfortably for the rest of her life from now should I pass away tonight. "Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy "A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book | |||
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| bigger government = smaller citizen  |
You're not alone. My wife and I are debt-free except the house, have 4 children, use private schools, and work our asses off for every little thing we do. We have a little money saved and plan on very little in the way of "treats" or vacations. We both drive mini-vans that are over 12 years old, and are fully paid for. I do most of the physical labor for most of the house projects, and just spent $3500 on a 10k re-roof, because I took the extra time to pull in friends and neighbors, hired a teacher that roofs part time, and spent four fifteen hour days on my roof. I get you. You dig deep and keep at it. The satisfaction comes in smaller fiscal doses, but over the long haul you're healthier in a lot of ways, and your kids will learn a lot more when all those purchases count deeply. Sure. I'd love all the cool shit, but I see tons of people at my work that live hand-to-mouth in the lap of luxury and I want nothing to do with it. EDIT - also what Aeteocles said. “The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.”—H.L. Mencken | |||
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| Conveniently located directly above the center of the Earth  |
The joy and freedom that comes with being debt free must be a blessing, as it exceeds any 'pride of ownership/assumption of debt to get it' trinket that ever lured me into such a bogus path. I was about 45 when suddenly discovering I could be anything or do anything or buy anything I ever wanted....just not all at the same time. As results with prioritizing my goals improved so did the rewards of the necessary discipline to achieve those goals. **************~~~~~~~~~~ "I've been on this rock too long to bother with these liars any more." ~SIGforum advisor~ "When the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change, then change will come."~~sigmonkey | |||
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Member |
Aeteocles eh-TEE-oh-clez Picture of Aeteocles posted July 24, 2017 03:37 PM Hide Post First, the feeling is "normal" in the sense that it happens to many people. Most people call it a Mid-Life Crisis. They get to a point in their lives where they hoped to have "made it" and settle into an ideal life, experience a sense of dissatisfaction of where they are in comparison to where they want to be, and then buy some toys to make up for it. Second, I would ignore the comments about people being house poor, or in debt, or that they are not truly wealthy or happy and etc. I'm sure everyone means well when they say things like that, but it's a bad perspective to have. Looking for the fault in peoples lives to bring them down to "your level" is not healthy. Also, it's not being honest with yourself--deep down, you know that there are people who are simply more successful or happier than you and not everything is a facade. Besides, if you need to reduce other people's successes to increase your happiness, you are not very far from the idea that you would be happy about other people's failures...and that's not the type of person you want to be. So, rather than hate on the other players of "the game" for "winning" it, I leave you with two thoughts: 1) Seek joy in the success of others. Life is not a zero-sum game. Other people being successful in life does not take away from your own successes. Look for people who are truly admirable, successful in the ways that truly matter, and be glad that the universe has found ways to bless good people with good lives. 2) Seek joy in your own successes. Successful people are those that get what they want, but happy people are those that want what they get. Look at your own accomplishments and decide that those are the things that have mattered to you most. For instance, having your wife stay at home and not be raised by strangers was important to you. Seek joy in that success. In other words, eat your ice cream cone. Be happy that the guy next to you gets an ice cream cone too; maybe he even got a few extra scoops, but there's plenty of ice cream to go around. And don't let him, or anyone else, convince you that his chocolate ice cream is better than your strawberry. It may be really good chocolate ice cream, but you wanted strawberry all along. And, if you really consider it carefully, it's a damn good strawberry ice cream you are having. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Exactly what these guys say. Your normal. But don't let it get you down. We all do it at some point. But I know that I am glad I don't have the debt my neighbors have that have the new cars and go on vacation every other week. Trust me, they have debt. More than they can handle. I have seen it several times. Neighbor keeping up with neighbor only to see many of them loose it due to all the debt they are in to keep up with each other. I live in a typical middle income cookie cutter HOA neighborhood and can walk any street and tell you who had the funds and who borrows the funds. I personally know folks that have tried to keep up only to end up bankrupted. Its not worth it. Stay off FB. As other say they are only posers. I have to remind my wife and kids this all the time. And watch this movie. Its exactly what your talking about. Its a good one to understand marketing and why many try to keep up appearances. The Joneses (2009) Demi Moore and David Duchovny http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1285309/ " like i said,....i didn't build it, i didn't buy it, and i didn't break it." | |||
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