Well, today we get some clarification on the assassination attempts. It turns out that it was not really "assassination attempts," per se, but fake pizza deliveries.

So, just to be clear, David Hogg got seven pizza deliveries that he never actually ordered.

"Your Domino's thin crust, Sir!"

"I didn't order any pizza!"

We all know how annoying that can be!

But definitely not life threatening.

So, no worries, all you DaVid Hogg fans. It was not assassination attempts.

It was pizza.

They sent him Domino's? I take back everything I've said. That stuff will kill a bull elephant.

So dumb that he doesn't know the difference between a pizza and an assassination?

Must be a democrat.

Wait till he gets magazines he did not order.

^^^^ That would be a terrorist attack, not a mere assassination attempt. If terrorists are involved, the flaming bag of shit on the front porch will be next.

quote:

Originally posted by justjoe:
^^^^ That would be a terrorist attack, not a mere assassination attempt. If terrorists are involved, the flaming bag of shit on the front porch will be next.

Only if high-capacity!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Good thanks for the laughs.

Sign him up for the NRA and select a magazine for him!

Coupla useful references for all of you who want to emulate Ninja Master Hogg.

First, this recently published article on How to Train to Be a Ninja Easily, which includes highly useful tips such as "Run quickly".

Secondly, no Ninja drawing silent breath would be complete without at least one viewing of the Basic Ninja Primer from Diamond Dave's Ninja School. If you're confused about the difference between a Judy Chop and a Ninjy Chop, or if you are having difficulty using your Skoal can as a Ninja throwing star, ol' Dave's gotcha covered.

Great suggestion on the ninjy schoo.......let's not forget about numbchuks.



Perhaps he could then be Ghost Hogg: The Way of the Ninjy....

Clearly an imposter Diamond Dave.

Here's the real one with all sorts of samurai sword and ninja goodness including protips for Mr. Hogg, jump:



h

I wonder if he could hire The Mall Ninja to protect or train him?

https://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

Diamond Dave has skills.

If I survived seven attempts on my life I was either VERY lucky, attacked by idiots, or as what likely happened to Mr. Hogg-full of SHIT! Given all the different stories about that day in Florida, I suspect we BOTH survived the mass shooting the same way-neither of us were there!

Could be just a rumor, but I heard if they deliver several pizzas to you and they are not ordered, they put you on a secret list.
You are then banned from ordering pizza!
NO PIZZA FOR YOU!

He's looking for a handout from the Left for school books and to pay for someone to take his exams. He has to stay relevant to do so. The problem is he's doing a "Jussie Smollet".

Point of Order: You have to be someone of social significance (like a head of state) to be assassinated, otherwise someone just tried to kill you. No Hogg... you're not even close.

I would suggest he seek a vest that allows front and rear trauma plates so he can take .338 Lapua rounds to the back protecting his girlfriend as she assembles the breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl to take the long shots. During which time he can consider whether a 'Plan B' is more prudent.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
If you're confused about the difference between a Judy Chop and a Ninjy Chop, or if you are having difficulty using your Skoal can as a Ninja throwing star, ol' Dave's gotcha covered.

Does he include “Hassan Chop”?