Boating accident!

Anything I might be accused of never happened!

I’m not trying to hold public office, so only convictions would count. I must not be guilty of anything, otherwise with my luck, I’d be serving something to life.

Oh yeah! It’s in the mail.

Alas, finally I must confess my sins of..........:

1. 2 Counts of Masculine Toxicity; In 1967, I was 5 years old and one of my favorite TV shows was the Avengers with John Steed and Emma Peel (hmmm, Emma, you remain my dream woman) and I went trick or treating as John Steed; suit, bowler and umbrella. In 1968, I was 6 years old and my favorite show was "Star Trek". I went trick or treating as James T. Kirk.

2. Cultural appropriation. In 1972, I was 10 years old and my favorite TV show was "Kung Fu" and I went trick or treating as Qui Chang Caine.

There are family photos and films to verify the above and I await my notification to respond to a Re-Education Camp where I can pay for my sins.

Nahh, screw that. Between John Steed, James Kirk, Qui Chang Caine, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Dirty Harry, and my father, a boy or young man couldn't ask for better role models.

I have a friend who attended the Pekin, IL H.S. when their mascot was...The Chinks! The image on the school T-Shirts was a Chinese man complete with the conical hat. They later changed it to the Pekin Dragons.

quote:

Originally posted by clubleaf206:
At my High School we were (still are) ‘Redskins’, the unofficial motto of the school is ‘Once a Redskin, always a Redskin’. Will that make for a problem?

Can you grow potatoes in Kansas? Better figure out how, and pronto!

There’s no shoe polish in my high school yearbook, but thirty or forty more years is probably not long enough to write down the thought crimes I’m sure I’ve committed over the last little half century plus. Oh well...

Yearbook?


You can have my yearbook....

....when you pry it from by cold dead fingers.

Seriously, you don't need my yearbook. You just need to talk to my PITA sister, who has been more than happy to broadcast to the immediate world at the slightest to no encouragement, every possible misstep I've made in the last 55 years.


I did try to print up a fresh copy of the TSMF-2019, but the printer is telling me to "Load Letter A10".
Soon as I find some, I'll get that right off to ya.

Okay, I'll talk. In third grade I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade I stole my Uncle Max's toupe and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...
Then my mom sent me to...to a summer camp for fat kids. And that was third lunch I got nuts and I pigged out, and they kicked me out.
But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

My high school yearbook no longer exists. I ripped up the pages and used them to roll some giant doobies, which I smoked while dancing naked with dozens of strangers at Burning Man, as we listened to Burt Bacharach albums played backwards.

But it does not matter, because I've never engaged in questionable behavior.

Can you wait until next year when I am scheduled

to graduate from high school?

Mine has a picture of me wearing plaid bell bottoms... with cuffs. Maybe I can be Governor of Virginia, eh?

Oh, and I was Chief of my Order of the Arrow lodge. Required wearing a full head dress with double floor length train for ceremonis. Perhaps I can be Senator from MA, too!