No doubt

sig2340 summed it up for me.

quote:

Originally posted by VonFatman:
sig2340 summed it up for me.

2340 might want to check the last post he made in the classifieds.

Such a Taboo subject and I have toiled with this for a few years and this Post comforts me to no end - Thanks for the understanding I'm not the only one. Yes My Ex DIL - Our SOn passed away 2 years ago and she is still after a penny she can get - I finally unloaded on her and her reply was that We killed our Son with our tough love. I read the email right before I was to visit my Dentist - They Tested my BP and told me to go to the ER - So yes - This woman is the Devil and I hate Her to Her Core.

Yes.
Absolutely.
Definitely.

I'm a big grudge holder. You **** me over, or someone I love, I never forget. You're out forever and hope you get your cummupance. Not a very Christian attitude, but only Jesus had no sin. I help a lot of people and I really do my best not to screw anyone over or mistreat people. I have no tolerance for manipulative, self-serving, narcissistic people.

I have only two goals left in life.
1-To live long enough to see my son graduate from high school
2-To live long enough to read a certain person's obituary

Anything beyond that is a bonus.

If you don't truly hate someone, you haven't been hurt badly enough. In my case, it's the people I love that get very hurt or used. That hurts me more than if someone hurts me directly. Those are the kind of people I want to read their obituaries.

I don't project hate or bitterness in my daily life. My true hate is reserved for a select few people and I keep it to myself. I also find it hard to hate anyone who did not matter to me in my life. Naturally, if we're talking about a man or woman who kills kids or good people, sure, I hate them too, but it's not the personal "make my blood boil" hate that comes from betrayal of someone who mattered in your life.

Tony.

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
This is a very thought provoking thread.

Have you ever met someone who seemed to absolutely need someone to hate?

I have, at least one, maybe more.

But I'm thinking of a specific woman I used to work with. She was the most hateful behaving human I've ever seen. She made it clear that she needed someone to hate, all the time. That was her life situation, needing someone to hate.

The weird thing was, after doing this, should could turn on a dime in a second and smile sweetly at everyone and act nice for awhile.

What kind of a psychological profile is such a person?
.

Insecure people of low self-esteem feel the need to beat up on people to make themselves feel better.

They care about who they are in the social hierarchy and feel that if they are not at the top, they are inferior to others. They seek to be feared and worshipped at the same time. There are multiple reasons they could act this way. These people may have sexual, mental or physical abuse in their past, or they may have felt neglected as a child. Or they could have been seeking the love and validation of someone important, only to have the important person choose someone else to favor. But instead of persevering through rejection or abuse, they take the road of self-destruction.

That kind of person could also have been spoiled as a child and the parents could have simply given them everything they want in order to shut them up or make them happy. Such child-raising without actual mature mentorship and lesson teaching creates adults that are spoiled brats, or simply unruly kids that got older.

These people are never happy with anything in life. They are at war with themselves and are trying to impress everyone, but only impress themselves. Like greed, their cup will never be full. As they grow older, they will find themselves alone with no family or friends left.

Although I can see how people got to where they are, they are still adults and accountable for their actions. I understand the roots of the people I hate, but it's not a pass. I simply thank GOD I'm not that kind of person and I don't allow those demons to rule my daily life.

Tony.

While I am capable of hating someone, it is a natural human emotion, as a follower of Christ, I am called not to hate any person; it is equivalent to murder.

I may hate their actions and condemn the same, but I don't hate the person, as much as they might seek to drive me down into that morass.



.

Hate sure. Love of course. Sorrow yep. Joy yes. Lust not as much anymore (10% reduction) . Sure I've missed a few "Human" feelings and emotions but we are what we are. Some call them character defects some just call it being Human. Some base instincts have/need to be suppressed like hate/lust or no one would be safe. Even as we feel in our anger/justification of hate, we attach ourselves to that hated person with iron links almost impossible to break. It can be a dilemma to live mentally with the hated person always in the back of your head or somehow get past them.

Just something I thought of...

I don't know that we necessarily hate the PERSON. If I had to really put my finger on it and speaking only for myslef, I think I more hate the ACTIONS of that person. Classic example (and I hate to even bring it up)...I'm sure the Krimson Kenyan has a personality that I could sit down and have a beer and talk about sports. But I would find it EXTREMELY difficult to see past what he did to this country with his "Fundamentally Change America" ideology and harbor a sense of loathing for the man. Probably wouldn't enjoy my beer too much...

I guess what I'm trying to conclude is that it's difficult to actually hate someone that I don't even know. It's their actions that are abhorrent and loathsome.

I'm sure there are MANY such examples in the forefront of our society today where this thought process could be applied.

YEP!!

I don't forgive and I don't forget...

The answer is yes, and they deserve it.

In a word, Yes

For me, it depends on the definition of hate.

I have an intense dislike for some people for various reasons. But there's always a reason. If the person changes their way, I may stop hating them. Hate may be permanent, or maybe not. I look at it from a Christian perspective. IMO, all people are redeemable, but not all people will be redeemed. If a person turns from their evil ways, they may no longer be deserving of hatred. I try not to hate someone and hope for their death. But I do hate some people and hope for their redemption. If someone I hate dies unredeemed, that's more of a reason to me to mourn their loss than to be glad they are are gone.

I also have to deal with the fact that I am hated. It's easy to talk about people we hate. But not so much to come to terms with that fact that there are people that hate us.

quote:

Originally posted by Micropterus:
It's easy to talk about people we hate. But not so much to come to terms with that fact that there are people that hate us.

Whatever

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill

Let 'em have at it.



.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
Whatever

Well, I agree. I am just perplexed at what about me there is that anyone could hate.

Yes there are a number of people I hate with a burning passion. It's not a 24/7 hate like the people with TDS live with but I use my hate as motivation. It motivates me to live better and longer than those people. I believe in pissing on graves and I have a rather long list. I have a damn good chance of outliving about 75% of those people and I have a active bladder so that in turn gives me comfort. Hate turns to comfort. It's all how you rationalize it.

Hate is a very interesting and fluid emotion. I look at the rabid Trump haters. They let it destroy them. They become all consumed with it. They are void of any rational thought because their hate always comes first and they live in the anguish that constant hate brings. People trapped in their hate deserve every bit of the misery it brings.

Worked with a supervisor who was a total asshole. Many of us truly hated him. Then one day my Native American buddy said; "When you truly hate someone like that ,they OWN your mind". Stopped thinking about the guy after that.

But like lastmanstanding there will be some grave pissing one day! LOL

quote:

Originally posted by FN in MT:
Then one day my Native American buddy said; "When you truly hate someone like that ,they OWN your mind".

Only if you're obsessed with them. If, however, you don't walk around seething non-stop at someone and if your hatred rises only when they come to mind, which is, well, whenever, then I don't think they own your mind.

However, as the saying goes, happiness is the best revenge.

Having said that, look, acting as if someone is undeserving of your thought or your strongly negative opinion of them is- to me- tantamount to letting a criminal go unpunished for a crime.

quote:

Originally posted by 46and2:
Capable: Certainly.

Willing: No.

Hate, real hate, requires too much effort.

[...] but what the fuck for? It just eats at you, wastes time and energy, increases stress, and harshes my mellow, mann.

This, pretty much nails it for me. I couldn’t have said it better.