Hmmm. Lot of comments/thoughts.

1. The officers (if they were) should have gotten their heads out of their ass. If you are going to represent your profession/deportment, then grow up and be a professional.

WITH THAT SAID!!!!

1A. I'm a bit tired of the double standard. One group of people gets to threaten officer's wives and families with rape and murder, but an officer speaks a work with beyond a PG rating and he gets fired or reprimanded... Seems silly.

2. If it were me in that group of officers.... I suffer from a hearing condition. My hearing is going away. It is genetic. It is sometimes difficult to hear things at normal conversation volume. As such i'm asking people to repeat things and I talk louder than normal. Especially if i am excited, amped up, buzzed, or otherwise engaged. I find myself speaking a little louder than needed just to get my own perception to normal. If I am offending someone with my volume it is not my intent, but just a byproduct of too much range time, genetics, loud small engines in my youth and younger careers... I'd appreciate someone politely telling me.

2A With that all said, no offense intended to your wife, but she IS in public. and as such, she is subject to the whims of said public. You can't MAKE people be polite, or be subject to another person's version of polite. It was wrong of her to ask you to interject HER version of what is appropriate on other strangers in a public place. Hell, it was wrong of her to expect to be able to force some sort of decorum onto other people in public by ANYONE.

She, you, and EVERYONE ELSE, needs to remember that had these two people who offended her NOT BEEN POLICE OFFICERS, and the police gotten called, there WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A GODDAMN THING THAT ANYONE COULD DO.

And had they tried, there would have been half this board calling for the firing of the officer's based upon a first amendment violation.

Kevin

Those guys likely did not realize they were being so loud and disturbing others. A few beers and burning off stress will do that. Had someone politely mentioned it to them they likely would have toned it down and felt embarrassed about it.

quote:

Originally posted by HayesGreener:
Those guys likely did not realize they were being so loud and disturbing others. A few beers and burning off stress will do that. Had someone politely mentioned it to them they likely would have toned it down and felt embarrassed about it.

I am offended by people with loud and unruly children in restaurants. My response to that is to ask the service staff to relocate us in the restaurant so we are not disturbed. The message gets across.

I usually just avoid places where I run into situations like that. Neither my wife or I drink so that makes it easier and I can’t remember the last time I was in a situation like that. I don’t cuss at all but it’s unrealistic to think nobody else around you will, I hear it almost everywhere I go and I’m sure alcohol may intensify its use. Being Law Enforcement is a tough job so I’d tend to give them more leeway than others.

I have modified my life due to being legally armed and that’s another issue. I practice avoidance when possible (avoid large crowds, avoid high risk areas, avoid places where confrontations are likely, avoid escalating, avoid playing into machismo in trying to prove who’s tougher etc.). My wife’s been a victim of crime twice in her life, one time being assaulted and one time being robbed at gunpoint. I do all I can to avoid anything happening to her again.

quote:

Originally posted by HayesGreener:

quote:

Originally posted by HayesGreener:
Those guys likely did not realize they were being so loud and disturbing others. A few beers and burning off stress will do that. Had someone politely mentioned it to them they likely would have toned it down and felt embarrassed about it.

I am offended by people with loud and unruly children in restaurants. My response to that is to ask the service staff to relocate us in the restaurant so we are not disturbed. The message gets across.

I see that way more often today and it drives me crazy.

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
my wife and I ate at a very nice local bar/restaurant today...

I wouldn't have said anything to them. In a very nice establishment, I would have quietly mentioned the issue to management if it was really loud enough to bother us. Anywhere else, I would have just tolerated it and not went back for a second visit.

Just like others have posted, when carrying, I try to avoid conflict. That leaves two options for me:

1. If it's annoying but tolerable, I will ignore it.
   
   
2. If it's really annoying, I will consider just getting up and leaving, having a brief conversation with the manager on the way out.

quote:

Originally posted by bobandmikako:

quote:

Originally posted by wrightd:
my wife and I ate at a very nice local bar/restaurant today...

I wouldn't have said anything to them. In a very nice establishment, I would have quietly mentioned the issue to management if it was really loud enough to bother us. Anywhere else, I would have just tolerated it and not went back for a second visit.

What would Tony Soprano do? Answer.

Why couldn’t your wife step over and voice her objections to their behavior?

I believe that the closer you get to LEOs, the closer you are to fines, tickets, handcuffs, jail. I avoid proximity if possible.

Maybe a little reverse psychology here.
Walk up and say you overheard them.
Thank them for their fine service to the community and their great attitude.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
More men have come to bad end either doing the bidding of a woman, or trying to impress her.

And many folks would find it easier to navigate the rough seas of life by doing as you did and minding one's own business.

Picking ones battles, and letting the petty stuff go.

Dogs bark, people give rude looks, bump into others, say things, play music or any number of things that another can take offense over.

No one has the right to not be offended.

Those looking for offense, can find it any and everywhere.

I rather avoid such people.

Well stated.

I have eaten in restaurants all of my life, and yes, I often will hear "offensive" conversations, whether it is someone using f-bombs, or a group of women talking about "female" things, or horrible political talk. This is what it's like to mingle with the masses. Who knows, I'm sure someone has been offended by my table side conversations.

If your wife was truly offended, she should have talked to the server to request another table.

in normal mode you did the right thing.

in pissy missy mode, you could have spoken to the mgr.
in A Hole mode, you both could have spouted your own fowl language so they could hear, with a little
" I hate my job! the worlds not fair, nobody loves me" thrown in

good for you

quote:

lly of men to think that any other, than himself, holds to the same value and ideals.

It is a trap of pride.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.


In your case, you and your friends recognized your being uncivilized in such a social setting.

You can hope, but never count on another to be such as you think.

If some bets d

Kind of a silly response SM. But after all it is the SF and you are the monkey.

Listen, in his situation. Not all. Politely state the obvious. There are ladies around. If that piss's them off. So be it. They are not going to arrest you for criss sakes. If they take offense. Leave. I would bet in that setting they would of said they were sorry.
You guys are a bit to worried about things. I mean really.

how many of the ladies in the restaurant actually " Identify " as women though ?


male , female is not the issue,
respect for others is the focus

Two ways I'd have handled it; a) ask the management or b) talked to the guys and said "hey, my old lady is bothered by the salty language and I'm pretending to ask you to knock it off so just wave in her direction and carry on"

Guy code usually means they'd play along.

You could walk. Or - you always have the option to be offended. About anything. And to express your offense in public if you choose. Once, the consequences were fairly well established, sometimes with formal protocols. So you knew going in the results, and were prepared for them in your challenge. It might cost you your life, or someone else's, even for something that to some might seem trivial and petty. But you knew that on the front end. So offence, then, was something to be taken seriously, and paid for if necessary. The Tony Soprano clip is really pretty accurate. Tony grasped the concept. Now, not so much. Consequences can be anything from zero, to the maximum. And you don't know what they are, going in. The dice, they can be fickle....

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
how many of the ladies in the restaurant actually " Identify " as women though ?


male , female is not the issue,
respect for others is the focus

I would have worded your question: "How many of the women in the restaurant actually "identify" as ladies, though?"

flashguy

This message has been edited. Last edited by: flashguy,

Don’t second guess yourself.

I could have gone either way or with the other possibilities people have brought up. You were there exposed to the vibes of the situation.

Unless the place is packed just switch tables and let them enjoy their meal the way they want while you do the same.

I do it a lot and never gave it a second thought. If they notice and ask if they were bothering me I say “Don’t worry about it. No big deal” and I mean it because it isn’t. I’m glad they’re enjoying themselves too.