I feel that I've missed out on a few things in my life. I haven't known many people with unique names.
When I was about 4 (1965 or so) I had a friend across the street who's name was AB. That's what it was, just AB. Sadly, I lost track of AB.

If you give your kid a dumb name, you better have a sense of humor because a lot of people are going to laugh, snicker and do a WTF. What did she think people would do, get on her dumb name train and tell her how creative and unique the name is.

quote:

Originally posted by flashguy:

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:

quote:

Originally posted by newtoSig765:
...Ronly Bonly Smith.

That's SOLID funny!

And very old....

True! I remember it from Humor In Uniform in a Reader's Digest. A very old Reader's Digest, like from the early 1960's.

quote:

every single article I have seen set the pronunciation, differently. . .

I guess that it is pronounced AB-sid-eee, according to the interview with the mother.

Both of my parents worked in hospitals their entire lives. They kept lists at work with the worst names, my folks would talk about them at the dinner table. The worst I heard of was a baby girl named Placenta, and a mother who didn't have names for her twins, walked to the cafeteria for inspiration, and came back with Fanta, and Pepsi. I shit you not, I saw the paperwork.

Names for children have gone completely insane. My general rule of thumb is to insert the child's name into the following sentence: "Introducing the President Elect of the United States of America, .........". If it makes no sense, or is a source of shame, go back to the drawing board.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
Toughski

Toe-youg-ha-sky?

quote:

Originally posted by 2012BOSS302:
What did she think people would do, get on her dumb name train and tell her how creative and unique the name is.

That's EXACTLY the goal. They're clever and creative.

How is this NOT child abuse?

Last year I met Mo'nique. To demonstrate how clever and creative SHE was, she gave all of her babies clever and unique "Mo-" names, the "Mo" being from HER name and the rest of the name being some variation of the baby-daddy's name.

Baby daddy is Shawn. Baby is Mo'shawn.
Baby daddy is Ronald. Baby is Mo'ron. No, seriously. Sound it out. I only wish I was making that up.

Baby #2 may never actually meet Ronald, but his legacy lives on.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
Do you know what they say in Russia? Toughski

I think the proper Russian term is Tufshitski. But I might be off on the spelling.

Having grown up in the South, I've probably heard them all - real and imagined alike.

The only real and notable ones I that know are a dude named Karate, stripper-esque real names like Star and Mysti and various others, and best of all - a late 40s woman named:

Ta--ta--tata-sha-nee-sa---ushawn--sha-ree. (Hyphens added to help with the breakdown).

She just goes by Ree.

(I probably made a couple of mistakes in the spelling, it's been a while since I've seen it correctly written out, but that's damn close.)

Frank Zappa had a weird sense of humor, I guess... Named his kids:

Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahmet and Diva.

Been there, done that.
Little criminal lives in Algeld Gardens, one of Chicago's south side projects. I cant remember what I locked the miscreant up for, whatever... doesn't matter.

Doing the arrest report-
ME: What's your name?
HIM: "AB-CEE-DEE" Smith (with two "f's" for those who get the joke)
ME: Spell that
HIM: A B C D E S M I T H
ME: You're fuckin kidding me?!
HIM: No, Dat's my name. (with a quizzical look on his face like IM THE ASSHOLE in this)

Knowing my Watch Commander well, and having messed with him more than enough with some practical jokes thru the years, I knew which way this was about to go when I tried to get the arrest report approved.

It was policy to leave your prisoner in the holding cell while you got the arrest report approved, and NOT bring him with you to the Watch Commanders office. Again, knowing which way this was about to go, I decided to bring the fledgling felon with me to the bosses office.
I knock on his door, and with his usual loud voice "WHAAAAAAT?!?"
"I got one for ya, boss" and hand him the arrest report.
[The Lt. reading the report... pause ... looks at me] "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU ASSHOLE!" and tosses the arrest report back at me.
(now, I get it. I'm the one who used to "steal" his car keys all the time. And his car. And his gun. And his wallet... among many other practical jokes. So why would he believe me?!?)
I pull the kid into the Watch Commanders office.

"Kid, see the nice man?" [pointing to the boss]
"Yeah"
"Kid, tell the nice man your name."
"Ab cee dee"
"Kid, spell that for the nice man."
"A B C D E"

At that point, my beloved Watch Commander, Lt Mikey Mags had some rather choice words and poignant suggestions for the young lad when he got home to his Momma.
The term "Cunt-punt" may have been coined
"Justifiable homicide"
"retroactive abortion"



Well... It didn't end there. A few months later I had to "Lather, rinse, repeat" all over again.
My Partner and I decided to lock up (and I shit you not) - "Shi'Thead" -

Sometimes, I actually miss working in the Ghetto. I'll return soon enough.

Some of the better ones I've come across:
Ma'LE (Male)
FaMal'e (Female)
LE-mon'Je-lo (Lemon jello)
Flo-mont Johnson (I think he's dead now)
Chevette-a
Corvette-a (sisters)
Admiral Faulkner


There's a bit in a chapter of this book "Freakonomics" that I read years ago. It was about the correlation between fucked-up names (such as ABCDE, Flomont...) and juvenile delinquency then fostering into more criminal behavior in adolescence and young adulthood, then into "parenthood" (if you can call it that), and naming the next generation another fucked up name. It was rather interesting/sad/true/pathetically comical/enlightening all at the same time. Kind of a Chicken-Egg debate. It basically explained that:

You're fucked up, it's a niche you cant/wont get out of because you see/have/dont want no hope
You transfer that on to your next generation, by trying to be "unique" and name your kid "Unique"
Which in turn becomes fucked up because of the transference...
Then it has a baby...
And further down the slide we go.

quote:

Originally posted by PD:
Giving kids retarded names should be a form of child abuse. It a should be illegal as it was in Germany for many years. (Not sure what goes on in the fatherland these days).

There's no real codified but rather common/case law, and guidelines for registrars with some room for interpretation; cases of doubt will sometimes end up in court to decide on the basic parameter of the child's welfare. In particular:

- Given name must be recognizable as such, and not a family, common brand or place name; there are some exceptions like for traditional Friesian middle names such as "ten Doornkaat" (which also happens to be a liquor brand name), and of course some German given names are also family names.

- Under the "child's welfare" rule, it must not make the kid ridiculous or link it "to evil", like Judas or Cain; so I guess "Satan" is right out. You can still name your kid Adolf though; there's a German comedy in theaters right now about an acrimonious dinner debate that arises over such a case (haven't seen it yet).

- Must not offend religious sensibilities, like naming your kid "Christ" (variations of "Christian" OTOH are of course very widespread); "Jesus" was allowed by a 1998 court order, probably because it's a common Spanish name.

- Must not include titles like "Lord" or "Princess".

Siblings must also have distinctive names, and you can be limited in how many names to give one kid; yet some may end up with a near-dozen, particularly from aristocratic families like former defense minister Karl-Theodor etc. etc. von und zu Guttenberg (some joker once added an additional one to his Wikipedia entry, and nobody noticed for a long time). Note he has a "Maria" in there, which is actually a common male middle name in Catholic areas. Otherwise per a 2008 finding of the Constitutional Court, given names no longer have to be gender-definite but can be neutral like many English ones are, without the obligation to add at least one other that clearly identifies the child's sex.

at least they didn’t meet her cousin Elemenopee

quote:

Originally posted by hjs157:

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
Toughski

Toe-youg-ha-sky?

As I recall, it was toughshitski, Yall!

But that may have been from southern Russia.

I have an uncommon surname that lends itself to teasing, some good-natured, much not when I was a kid, but my parents gave us sensible first names, at least.

quote:

Originally posted by craglawnmanor:

... When I was about 4 (1965 or so) I had a friend across the street who's name was AB. That's what it was, just AB. Sadly, I lost track of AB.

She's a regular on Fox News Special Report.

https://www.marathi.tv/politic.../who-is-ab-stoddard/

Hospitals are an endless source of odd names.

The infamous Nosmo-king

Lochia - mother heard staff mention this & thought it sounded pretty. Loch is vaginal discharge that occurs after delivery.

Male twins Boya & Boyb (Boy-A & Boy-B)

Orangelo - Orange jello

Why not name the child "12345" and pronounce it "Fifteen"?

I already see these entitled ‘passengers’ for what they are. They have requested early boarding privileges for Abcde because she has epilepsy. I fail to see how early boarding helps her supposed condition...I liken it to using the handicapped space with questionable disabilities.

Try working in an Emergency Room if you really want to see some, "Unusual" names. Sadly, HIPPA prevents me from sharing some of the better ones.

I had a co-worker who was proudly announcing the birth of his granddaughter. When he said "her name is Brooklyn", I almost blurted out "I knew a stripper with the same name".

Thankfully, the other side of my brain stopped me in time.