In my hometown, a man was stabbed to death. The suspect is in custody and an investigation is underway. The suspect's Mother called the police and informed them that her son may have "hurt someone." I will post a link to the article. My wife and I had a discussion about the subject of turning in your child to to police. My wife has the opinion that any instance of breaking the law should be reported. My philosophy has always been God, Family, Country. That being said, I am struggling in that I don't know the threshold at which I would turn in my child. I don't think I would turn in my 5 year old for stealing a pack of gum, but what if he committed murder like this woman's Son? Has anyone else thought about this?

https://weartv.com/news/local/...-plaza-in-niceville#

This message has been edited. Last edited by: xd45man,

Covering a crime your child has committed is no help to them. I'd turn them in and focus on getting them legal help first then mental health help. Depending on the child I might not help with legal and just let them learn to deal with the result of their actions. To many variables but I would not help cover it up or hide it.

Your child killed someone? There's is no struggling here.

I'm not sure there's much to think about. If I understand you correctly, you're saying you might not turn in your child to face the consequences of their actions (assuming it was something very serious).

Let me ask you this - how do you feel about others who are arrested and face the consequences of their actions (murder, rape, whatever..)? If you're fine with others reaping what they sow, why should your offspring be any different?

I'm not saying it would be an easy choice, but what's the alternative? Condone their actions? Place them above the consequences others have to face?

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
...
I don't think I would turn in my 5 year old for stealing a pack of gum...

Yes, I would, and you should, turn in your 5 year old for stealing a pack of gum. It would be much better to learn lessons early, and you have a duty as a parent to facilitate that learning.

For an older child it's still clearly the right thing to do. For society and for the offender.

The only exception that I've thought of is if they did something technically illegal, but morally right under the circumstances. No hard examples, but y'all get the idea.

I hope I didn't come off as I would never turn in my child. I'm wondering if there is a threshold. Pack of gum - no. Murder - yes. Those are the two extremes. I just don't know where the middle ground is. I suppose maybe if the issue couldn't be resolved outside the law. For example, let's up the crime to say a stolen bicycle. Let's say I take my child to the home of the owners and have my child return the bicycle. At that point, I think the choice is up to the victim. Let's say it was my child's bicycle that was stolen and a father and son returned the bicycle. I wouldn't call the police.

I understand at some point, I would be comitting a crime by harboring a criminal, but I don't know the law that well to know at what point that would be other than the obvious.

If I believed it is true, no doubt at all.

There could also be a number of other more practical reasons to do it beyond just the morality issue.

He could be a continuing danger to the rest of my family or others. Also in the likely case that the authorities will figure it out at some point, the arrest itself could be a dangerous situation to myself and others.

Baffles me that this is even a question, but I guess it shouldn't given where society is at today.

What if the year is 1934 and it is illegal to own gold. My son has a coin collection he is hiding. I should turn him in?

What about my son moves from Florida to California and I see he has a 17 round pistol magazine in a moving box? I should turn him in?

The laws of nature will always trump the laws of man.
I'd kill or be killed before I turned my child in to the state.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
The laws of nature will always trump the laws of man.
I'd kill or be killed before I turned my child in to the state.

so you'd harbor or abet a murder, rape, or whatever crime your child committed (assuming that you knew for a fact they did)?

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
I don't think I would turn in my 5 year old for stealing a pack of gum

I did. Around 6 or 6 yo, after shopping at Publix I saw him chewing some gum, which we never let him have. He admitted to stealing it. Off we went back to Publix where he had to tell the manager what he did and return the remaining gum.

I knew nothing would be done to him, but he didn’t. He learned that I really did not tolerate stealing and, by association, lying and all the other stuff we tell our kids are wrong.

Kids learn more from what they see you do, then by what they hear you say. They wIll know when you don’t really mean what you say and they will push the boundaries to find out where the limits really are.

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
What if the year is 1934 and it is illegal to own gold. My son has a coin collection he is hiding. I should turn him in?

What about my son moves from Florida to California and I see he has a 17 round pistol magazine in a moving box? I should turn him in?

Nope. I wouldn't.
If it's a law that I don't support I would not attempt to help the state enforce it.

But... otherwise:

quote:

after shopping at Publix I saw him chewing some gum, which we never let him have. He admitted to stealing it. Off we went back to Publix where he had to tell the manager what he did and return the remaining gum.

Thank you. That's a great lesson.
I've done similar and I hope most parents would.

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
What if the year is 1934 and it is illegal to own gold. My son has a coin collection he is hiding. I should turn him in?

What about my son moves from Florida to California and I see he has a 17 round pistol magazine in a moving box? I should turn him in?

Who got injured in those 2 versions? No one. Your son stabbed someone to death is a whole different matter. We took on another kid who was too unruly for his mom when my son was a senior in high school. I caught them illegally downloading movies on the wife's computer. Did I turn them in? No. Did I counsel them on the legality and discuss what was right and wrong and what would occur to them if I caught them doing it again? Yes.

The shit stopped.

I won’t try to look up the Latin terms, but there is a legal(?) principle that there are two types of unlawful acts: those that are evil or morally wrong in themselves, and those that are just prohibited.

The former includes things like assaults, including murder, theft of another’s possessions, “bearing false witness,” and anything that harms another person without just cause.

Other things, though, are considered wrong only because society (the Law) says they’re prohibited for some reason, but which cause no direct harm to anyone. That includes such laws as those that prohibited possession of gold or firearms magazines capable of holding more than X number of rounds. The latter are examples of laws pertaining to acts that not only don’t harm anyone, but are laws that very many people consider to be totally unjust and therefore can be morally ignored.

And there are laws that pertain to things that are harmless in some situations such as running a stop sign at a deserted intersection, but which can be dangerous if they become habits. The person who comes to a full stop at every sign no matter what other traffic is present is less likely to unthinkingly run a sign as a matter of habit even if it would endanger others.

I have no offspring, but there is a vast difference between not reporting the possession of a full capacity magazine and not reporting a rapist. If that’s not clear, perhaps it’s worthy of some thought to understand why.

quote:

I did. Around 6 or 6 yo, after shopping at Publix I saw him chewing some gum, which we never let him have. He admitted to stealing it. Off we went back to Publix where he had to tell the manager what he did and return the remaining gum.

My mother did the same thing when I took a piece of candy from the bulk bins. She did a u-turn and drove me back to the store. I still remember this 45 years later.

As for murder....come on. Of course you turn them in or rat them out. It will likely be the most painful thing you ever do. But if they've committed murder, they will likely get caught. And if they flee, are you going to assist them in their escape?

I wouldn't hesitate to turn in my child for a crime. When my oldest son was 6 or 7 we got home from the store when I found out he pocketed a candy bar. We went back to the store so he could return it and apologize for stealing.

Why would you even call the police on a pack of gum? Take your kid back to the store, return it and have him/her apologize to the store owner, if you want to teach some lesson to your kid. Call the cops, and they're going to laugh at you. Cops don't want to show up for minor incidents.

I grew up in a neighborhood where calling the cops was out of the question. Family is family, and you don't go outside the family. The cops come with a warrant to arrest ok, call a lawyer.