And it pisses me off. We aren't talking across the street, although that happens too, but to places she can't see or hear. From my understanding of my 7 year old, he goes across the street to his friends house, who is also 7 but looks 5, and then they go together to a house on another street, with a lot of woods and a creek between the start house and the finish house.
They live in a very nice neighborhood, but it isn't gated with security. Which still wouldn't be ok in my view.

The question is what to do about it. His mom and I have a decent relationship usually, but it has been strained by some disagreements lately, so I plan to talk to her about it, but I don't think it will change, and it will likely make the relationship worse.

Yesterday I saw some news about a 9 year old walking home from school and being chased and harassed by two 18 year old kids. The girl was fine, but it could have been a very different outcome, also.
And, in OKC (close to where I live) yesterday, a guy in a van was trying to lure a girl in to the van with candy. AT A DAMN SCHOOL. People are getting more bold, and society isn't as safe as the nice community livers believe.

Anybody know what I can do if this continues?

How about letting a boy be a boy. He has a nice neighbor hood, a friend, woods and a creek. Those aren't bad things. That's a start to a great childhood.

At eight, I wandered around the African nation of Liberia. At seven, I wandered around Hermosa Beach, CA.

What's the issue with him walking around in America? It teaches independence and responsibility.

Sounds just like when I was a kid. Friends and I would play in the woods, backyards or friends houses all day when we weren't in school. I've never figured out if things (the criminal element) are really worse today than decades ago, or better communications today just means you hear about them more so they seem more prevalent?

I agree with the OP, too many predators out and about to blindly trust your child will not be victimized.

To me it's less about his ability to go places and more about a (perceived or real) lack of awareness to where he may be by the ex-wife.

Sure, we can hark back to the idyllic memories of years past, where bubblegum was a nickel at the snack shop and kids went where they went. But we often forget that most communities were tighter and my mom would get a phone call when I arrived and departed, or when I was sighted being an idiot too.

And 7 is on the edge of being too young IMO. Then again I take safety of my children very seriously, yet they are still happy and well adjusted.

My neighborhood was backed up to a state game forrest and we wandered it on our bmx bikes in the summer and in the winter we sledded in it and played hockey on ponds.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig2340:
What's the issue with him walking around in America? It teaches independence and responsibility.

So your children get to roam the streets of Loudoun County VA?

My boys are 5 & 6 and I wouldn't let them go that far either. We live in a subdivision in the mountains where everyone has 2 - 4 acres.

I was allowed out by myself when I was that age.

I know the kids around the neighbor hood here roam all over and I don't think the parents know where they are.

I am trying to remember, but I don't think I was allowed to wander to far off when I was that age.

Maybe up the street to my friends or a few streets over but my mom had to know where I was going.

Now, when I was 9 or 10 I started wondering further out.

After about 9 nine years in LE, I have become jaded and bias.

I would be hard pressed to let my seven year wonder to far from the house.

quote:

My ex-wife lets my 7 year old wander the neighborhood with no supervision
And it pisses me off.

Ask yourself, honestly, if the issue is safety or your lack of control?

Don't answer here... we aren't trained counselors. Answer to yourself.

quote:

His mom and I have a decent relationship usually,

Try to keep a decent relationship with her. It's OK to express your concerns, but not in a demeaning way. You and your son will both benefit if you avoid the pissing match.

I wandered miles deep around into the woods around my house at that age with nothing but a fishing pole and a cup of worms.

I did this everyday when I was a kid and most of us here probably did as well. You need to figure out what is honestly bothering you about this.

When I roamed the Hood unsupervised, all the nieghbors knew me and would rat me out to my folks at the the drop of a hat. I delivered papers to the entire area, including the cops. This system worked faster and more efficently than Facebook.
This ancient history related, my two cents worth is:
Let the kid roam, but train him as to the potential dangers. A visit to his buddys house across the street might be a good idea. Talk to the his buddys parents and make sure everyone is on the same page.

quote:

Originally posted by Warhorse:
I was allowed out by myself when I was that age.

How long ago was that?

I have seen it debated here before that the world is just as dangerous now as it was back whenever, but the way news and social media are today, it is more publicized.
I don't believe that is the case. I think the world we live in now is much more dangerous for a 7 year old, much less a 32 year old man, and I, like Rhino, take the safety of me son to be my number one job in life.

I don't think his mom walking with the boys would keep them from thriving in their adult lives.

Teach them to swim and all that stuff. God as a kid we wandered and traveled. If there was water within walking distance we'd come back soaking wet.

Growing up on the Jersey Shore I once took a 12 foot aluminum boat through the canal out the Point Pleasant Inlet and south to Seaside.

The aluminum boat couldn't travel against the current so I had to time my adventure.

Those are my most cherished memories. Share them with your son.

quote:

Originally posted by chellim1:

quote:

My ex-wife lets my 7 year old wander the neighborhood with no supervision
And it pisses me off.

Ask yourself, honestly, if the issue is safety or your lack of control?

Don't answer here... we aren't trained counselors. Answer to yourself.

quote:

His mom and I have a decent relationship usually,

Try to keep a decent relationship with her. It's OK to express your concerns, but not in a demeaning way. You and your son will both benefit if you avoid the pissing match.

I'll answer to the forum counselors, and honestly as I can. I don't have a control issue in this case, at my house maybe, but I don't hover over her every move and I don't take issue with most things she does. With that said, I feel that it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of my child, no matter where he is, or who he is with.

Other things have come up in the past, such as him not being in his booster seat when he is in the car with his moms mom, another safety issue, that they seem to think doesn't apply to him. Isn't this issue similar to the wandering?

I think that I live in a different world than most of you guys.

I'm not saying not to let him be a kid, I'm saying that he can be a kid and I still watch over him, as I should.

Why do any of you carry a pistol? The majority of posters here claim to carry a pistol all the time, even while mowing, or walking about in your own houses.
I do neither, BTW.
But you are telling me that some of us feel the need to have a pistol on our hips in our own living rooms, but at the same time it is safe enough for your 7 year old to wander the neighborhood?

I feel the OPs concern as a parent. I have a nearly 7 and almost 9 year old. They can walk a couple of blocks to friends but that's about the limit right now. I always know where they are going. Granted this is a far cry from my childhood in the countryside of S. WI. I was out all day long playing in the woods at my daughter's ages. My parents wouldn't have worried and also probably didn't have a clue where exactly I was at any given time. I always managed to make it home amazingly. :P

I say some cautionary guidance is prudent. Surely we need children who can eventually have the confidence to navigate the challenges of life. Unfortunately life can be mean and unforgiving. It doesn't help having the news constantly remind you of the challenges your children face. Hell, after you read the sex predator/criminal tracking maps that show the screw-ups around you, it's hard to feel comfortable about even letting them go outside the house. But again, I believe knowing the dangers exist, and preparing for them, outweighs sitting in your house in fear of something happening.