SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge My ex-wife lets my 7 year old wander the neighborhood with no supervision
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Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici |
There are websites that you can enter the address and see a map of locations of registered sex offenders, of course that's only the registered ones. Yes, back in the day we all wandered, but typically in groups. Times have changed. Wandering solo is a cause for appropriate concern. _________________________ NRA Endowment Member _________________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C.S. Lewis | |||
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| That rug really tied the room together.  |
When my son turns 7 I won't let him wander the neighborhood like that, which is quite contrary to my upbringing as I had a bike at age 7 and I remember driving that thing MILES away across town, to the mall, to stores, wherever I wanted to go at that age. No cell phones back then either and my parents had no idea where I was, just that I would be home by 630PM for dinner. The fishing lake I frequented was 6 miles away and I would peddle there weekly. At age 7. Hell when I turned 16, got my license, and bought my first car, I never went home other than to change and shower. Might have saw my mom two or three times a month. ______________________________________________________ Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow | |||
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Member |
You love your kid. These ARE different times and I hear ya. Let my two young boys wander around MY neighborhood out of my sight??? Dream on. | |||
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safe & sound |
7 is probably still a bit young to have complete free rein. That said it has never been safer to be a child in the US. Just about everything that has harmed children in the past, everything from accidents to murder, is lower. I know many don't "feel" that way. Many have been told otherwise. Many believe it's simply not true. But statistics don't lie. | |||
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Age Quod Agis |
I did this all the time when I was young. I used to walk 1.5 miles through the woods to a friend's farm when I was 6. Speak to her about it, but personally, I think it's a good thing that they get out and do this, walk in the woods, play in a stream, and find their friend's houses by themselves without an adult doing it for them. BTW, I'm 51 and grew up in Rhode Island. ETA: I think that culture today, through the news which tends toward the sensationalist, has over emphasized the danger to children. If a kid is kidnapped or harmed in BFE, it makes the local news, even if BFE is 1723 miles from where the news station is. Hell, the news will report it if it involves a blond girl when BFE is 6000 miles from the audience hearing the story. The truth seems to be somewhat different:
Link "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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| Little ray of sunshine  |
I don't know whether it is safe in your situation. I wouldn't be worried about a half a mile or so, in general, for a 7 year old. Talking to her is your first and best option. I doubt the court would intervene unless the risk is much greater than it sounds. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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Member |
I did see that recently, and I guess I am of two minds about this. I don't argue with the stats, however, we all know it only takes one time, and even though the stats show the danger as being low, low isn't none. So, I agree with you. We all carry guns for good reason, and own safes too  , we do those things because of the unknown. It seems contrary to think I need a gun in my nightstand, but at the same time my son doesn't require the same protection throughout his day, wherever he is.-wolff "In the absence of light, darkness prevails." - Professor Bruttenholm | |||
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| Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici |
Benjamin Disraeli: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." _________________________ NRA Endowment Member _________________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C.S. Lewis | |||
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| Member |
Sucks being a parent! At 7 I rode my bike to school which was about a mile from my house, rain or shine. On the weekends we would ride our bikes almost 4 miles from home and play in the rock pits and local canals. No cell phone tracking, no pay phones, no nothing. My mom wouldn't see me for most of the day. I guess it is a different world now. Too bad, I had a great time growing up with that kind of freedom! | |||
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Chip away the stone |
I don't see anything wrong with requiring the child to notify of all changes in location. Is a cell phone or two-way radio an option? Has the child been trained on how to deal with strangers, being lost, etc.? I just listened to a podcast yesterday that was in interview of Gavin de Becker, an expert on violence and security. He's big on teaching people, even children, about learning to be in touch with their intuitions, and listening to them. He's got a book on it called The Gift of Fear. He said rather than discouraging his kids from talking to strangers, he encourages it, as least in his presence, so he can ask the child what they think of the person they just interacted with. Somewhat as a side note, in the podcast he said instead of telling your child if they get lost to go to a LEO, which may be hard to find, and a regular security guard could be mistaken for a cop, he said tell your child to go to a woman, as that's much safer than going to a random man for help. I recall as a child walking to a friend's house a street over, and not knowing how to get back home. | |||
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| Member |
When I was 7 we roamed all over "the neighborhood" and the neighboring mountain foothills all day long. "Be back before dark" was the rule. In spite of modern fears, all data shows that kids are safer now than at any time in prior US history. (Unless you live in a specifically-known high-crime area.) "Crom is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, 'What is the riddle of steel?' If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me." | |||
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| safe & sound |
I have lived just outside the St. Louis area all of my life. I knew several other kids within walking/bike riding range and we were all going here and there within reason. We had woods and a creek nearby. It was considered a very safe place to live. http://www.stltoday.com/news/l...d8-b09dc8f6246b.html Scott was 8 years old when he disappeared in 1988. I was 11. They lived a half mile from me. His older brother was my age and we attended school together. The young man shown in that photo searching for him was one of my best friends and lived a few houses away from Scott. Just because the risk is low doesn't mean it's nonexistent. | |||
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Official Space Nerd |
I did. I also rode in the open bed of my dad's pickup. NOBODY wore seat belts. Child seats? Weren't invented yet. When I was 14, I played with sticks of dynamite. Unsupervised. We did a LOT of stuff back then that I would never allow a child under my supervision to do. This isn't 1975 anymore and things that were ok then aren't necesarily ok today. Fear God and Dread Nought Admiral of the Fleet Sir Jacky Fisher | |||
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thin skin can't win |
Maybe my mom was hoping I wouldn't come back.....  You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02 | |||
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| Member |
Radios are a great idea. I'll check that book out, too. -wolff "In the absence of light, darkness prevails." - Professor Bruttenholm | |||
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| Chip away the stone |
I looks like there are a lot of GPS options out there that might be more appealing than the two-way radio to a child. Here are some: https://www.thepawtracker.com/...ern-families-of-2016 | |||
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Now and Zen |
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017...7-year-old-girl.html That little girl is going to require reconstructive surgery to mend what the low life waste of my oxygen did to her! As retired FBI Profiler John Douglass put it; "There are people who are simply predators." ___________________________________________________________________________ "....imitate the action of the Tiger." | |||
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| Age Quod Agis |
^^^^^ My point exactly. This happened in Wichita. But it's on the Fox US National news site. It's not confined to the local evening news in Wichita, or even greater Kansas. It's all over the US. We are a nation of 330,000,000 people. That's three hundred thirty million. And bad things are going to happen. As with all things, there are risks and benefits to letting your son roam. The risks are very small, but terrifying. The benefits are daily, and will last a life time, because of the memories and independence gained. Strike the balance. Radio's are cool, but they suck and will likely get lost or left behind. If your son has a phone, there are kid trackers that your provider can put on the account, and they will notify you when the phone leaves a prescribed area, and you can always look online and find where the phone, and presumably, your son are. You are right to be cautious. Please don't be cautious in a way that impedes your son's joy in life, independence and development. Good luck. It's a touch choice. I had three kids myself, and my youngest goes to college this fall. It's a whole 'nother level of worry... "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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| safe & sound |
I was watching an interview of Kid Rock talking about when his son went to college. He went to visit him at school and asked how things were going. His son mentioned a group of guys that he had met that smoked weed and rode skateboards. Being concerned, as any father would be, Kid Rock had to have a serious man to man talk with his son. "That stuff is dangerous" he told his son. "Stay off of those skateboards".  | |||
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| Member |
It's a difficult situation you find yourself in because whatever "decision" you come to is still out of your hands. I have a 9 yr. old boy and a 7 yr. old girl. Nice suburban neighborhood, school bus stop is at our house, etc. Our rules: You tell us before hand who's house(s) you are going to and that's it. If they aren't home you don't go wandering from house to house seeing which friends are home. The "allowed" houses are also homes where we know the parents. Neither of our children are allowed to just pop in at any of their friends house where we don't have a relationship with the parents. I know those parents are responsible. Seven is a tough age, still basically a deer in the headlights, but old enough to have independent thoughts. It's a tough situation all the way around. I still watch out the door / window to ensure my youngest checks both ways before crossing the street. | |||
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