I live in a very "safe neighborhood." One day I went to the website that maps convicted sexual predators. For every one caught and convicted, how many would you guess have not yet been caught?

OP makes a good point about the number of us here who carry all the time-- even while mowing. But-- kids walk through a different world?

Times have changed. It's naive to say, "Well, I did it as a kid."

All you have to mention is 'EX wife'. That alone can bring a bunch of trouble.

At eight, I was allowed to play without supervision from after breakfast to supper time. There were no fewer perverts or hazards then than there are now.

quote:

Originally posted by Dresden:
There were no fewer perverts or hazards then than there are now.

Oh no. All of a sudden, now, after 10,000 years of human history, there are more deviants and kidnappers.

And don't show me any distracting statistics. I can't be bothered with data.

quote:

All of a sudden, now, after 10,000 years of human history, there are more deviants and kidnappers.

I haven't even looked at the numbers, but I'll bet you one thing.

Today a child is probably at greater risk from a predator inside their own home and on a computer than they are walking through their neighborhood.

Not to dig back up the horse, but I'm curious if all the people who think it is no big deal to go explore unsupervised at 7 would also let their 7 year old stay home while you went to the store?
No longer that the time it he would be gone from the house.

quote:

Originally posted by a1abdj:
Today a child is probably at greater risk from a predator inside their own home and on a computer than they are walking through their neighborhood.

...if their parents are irresponsible and just 'give them a computer / ipad / iphone' with zero parental controls on it and then assume it will be 'all good'.

Maybe.

I have not read all the replies but I get the sense that there are two issues here. One is are kids safe. Well, none of us know if it's safe where you live.

The real issue is how you discuss this with your X. If she thought there was a concern she would not be letting the child roam. So you have to figure a way to discuss your feelings without causing world war 3.

Maybe you can start by sharing the article and asking what she thinks are reasonable bounds at various ages. Since the kid lives with her, her views might be the trump card (check with your attorney).

So, what's your plan if she digs her heels in and says everything is fine and you're just creating an unnecessary problem? Don't bring up the subject until you have your response mapped out.

You're in a rough spot. Sorry to say but this sort of thing continues. Do they walk to school? When do they get to start a job? What time do they need to be home on weekends? How old do they need to be to hang out with their friends at the Mall? When do they drive? Do they get access to a car? the two of you could have different views on every one of these issues.

I spoke with my ex today and she says she sees my point of view, which is good enough for me, for now.

Some extras; she lives in a $350,000 house in the outskirts of Edmond, Ok, a really nice neighborhood. The median home price for our area is $131K to put it in perspective.
However, in a three mile radius of her home are 6 convicted sex offenders, and as someone else pointed out, who knows how many there are that haven't been caught. Obviously, that isn't the only danger.

Also, there is no custodial parent in the divorce, she and I share complete custody of him with no tie breaker, which has worked out fine for the three years of divorce, but if something became a major issue we would have to seek a mediator. We also have him week on, week off, but because she doesn't have to work she keeps him during the day when school is out, which I am truly grateful for.

quote:

You're in a rough spot. Sorry to say but this sort of thing continues. Do they walk to school? When do they get to start a job? What time do they need to be home on weekends? How old do they need to be to hang out with their friends at the Mall? When do they drive? Do they get access to a car? the two of you could have different views on every one of these issues.

Good points here.

My final thought on the issue... (maybe):
I understand that determining the danger in my area or to my son is something that I will have to decide for myself. In a perfect world none of us would carry a gun for self defense no matter how safe we perceive our surroundings. Yet, most of us do, and we all own guns here. Ultimately, we don't carry because it's our right to, we do so for the unknown threat. The unknown threat doesn't just come to the ones with guns on our hips, but also those that are too young even to understand threats.

Here are some actual statistics to consider.

About 100 kids are kidnapped by strangers per year, about half of those taken by strangers never return. There are roughly 75 million kids under 18 in the US. So .00013% of kids are taken by a stranger, 1 in 750,000, annually.



Number of children age 2 – 14 killed in car accidents, as passengers: 1300
Number of children killed each year by their family members and acquaintances: About 1000
Number of children abducted in “stereotypical kidnappings” (kidnapped by a stranger for ransom or for sexual purposes and/or transported away) in 1999, the most recent year for which we have statistics: 115.
Number of children killed by their abductor: About 50.

Murders of children by abductors constitute less than one half of 1% of all murders in America.

http://www.pollyklaas.org/abou...ps://www.google.com/

http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
Here are some actual statistics to consider.

About 100 kids are kidnapped by strangers per year, about half of those taken by strangers never return. There are roughly 75 million kids under 18 in the US. So .00013% of kids are taken by a stranger, 1 in 750,000, annually.



Number of children age 2 – 14 killed in car accidents, as passengers: 1300
Number of children killed each year by their family members and acquaintances: About 1000
Number of children abducted in “stereotypical kidnappings” (kidnapped by a stranger for ransom or for sexual purposes and/or transported away) in 1999, the most recent year for which we have statistics: 115.
Number of children killed by their abductor: About 50.

Murders of children by abductors constitute less than one half of 1% of all murders in America.

http://www.pollyklaas.org/abou...ps://www.google.com/

http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/

If abductions were the only danger to children, then we would all let our kids roam wherever, maybe even hitchhike there.
More statistics -

quote:

An estimated 3.7 million household burglaries occurred each
year on average from 2003 to 2007. In about 28% of these
burglaries, a household member was present during the burglary.

There are around 125,819,000 households in the US, so about 3% of households are burgled each year. Of that 3%, 28% have a member of the house present, which is around 1,036,000, or 0.82% of households in the US, in which someone is home at the time of a break in. Of those break-ins the overwhelming minority have a violent outcome. So, less than 1% of homes have someone present when the home is broken in to. In even less cases that member is a victim to violence, yet we still have precautionary measures in place in case of just such a thing. And I'd bet most of us live in an area that has statistically much less break-ins than the national average.

I understand where you are coming from, and I don't doubt statistics at all. That doesn't change my feeling on the matter. That is part of being free. To take the data and use that to form a decision. But, I guarantee you with 100% certainty, the parents of the 50 kids abducted and killed in 1999 or whenever wouldn't be consoled by the statistics. And this doesn't include everything else that can go wrong with a 7 year old.

quote:

Originally posted by Ackks:

quote:

Originally posted by SIG228:
Holy, balls, imagine the horror of a boy wandering the neighborhood! I got my first 10/22 when I was 8 and was wandering the foothills "hunting" with my cousin every spare minute we had. I mowed lawns and gathered eggs for my grandparents in exchange for ammo. Seriously, we left at sunup and didn't return until sundown, not a care in the world.

Yeah, except Mr. Wilson doesn't live in the neighborhood anymore. The "when I was a kid" stories aren't applicable anymore.

Yes, things are much safer now.

I grew up in a mostly OK neighborhood, next to a couple of not so good neighborhoods, in the World's Greatest Ever City (yes that's sarcasm, and you should be able to figure it out). There was a blackout with terrible riots and looting when I was, IIRC, 5.

At 7, I was limited to my own street unless I had an adult with me. So I could wander only to the end of my block. A little older and I could go to the neighboring blocks, because that's where my friends were.

Now? Where I live is much better, and absolutely safer. But similar rules apply, because tradition. They have the yard at any time, and can wander the subdivision within line of sight. A little older, and they'll have the run of the subdivision, because that's where their friends are.

My older boy has a friend from school who has the run of her area. She lives in a subdivision just outside a 'village' (small built up town center) and a big park. We've gone to the park and had her show up, play with my son, then head off home later, all on her own. She was 7 at the time.

Her father is the chief of police of their town.

quote:

Originally posted by wolffy88:

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
Here are some actual statistics to consider.

About 100 kids are kidnapped by strangers per year, about half of those taken by strangers never return. There are roughly 75 million kids under 18 in the US. So .00013% of kids are taken by a stranger, 1 in 750,000, annually.



Number of children age 2 – 14 killed in car accidents, as passengers: 1300
Number of children killed each year by their family members and acquaintances: About 1000
Number of children abducted in “stereotypical kidnappings” (kidnapped by a stranger for ransom or for sexual purposes and/or transported away) in 1999, the most recent year for which we have statistics: 115.
Number of children killed by their abductor: About 50.

Murders of children by abductors constitute less than one half of 1% of all murders in America.

http://www.pollyklaas.org/abou...ps://www.google.com/

http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/

If abductions were the only danger to children, then we would all let our kids roam wherever, maybe even hitchhike there.
More statistics -

quote:

An estimated 3.7 million household burglaries occurred each
year on average from 2003 to 2007. In about 28% of these
burglaries, a household member was present during the burglary.

There are around 125,819,000 households in the US, so about 3% of households are burgled each year. Of that 3%, 28% have a member of the house present, which is around 1,036,000, or 0.82% of households in the US, in which someone is home at the time of a break in. Of those break-ins the overwhelming minority have a violent outcome. So, less than 1% of homes have someone present when the home is broken in to. In even less cases that member is a victim to violence, yet we still have precautionary measures in place in case of just such a thing. And I'd bet most of us live in an area that has statistically much less break-ins than the national average.

I understand where you are coming from, and I don't doubt statistics at all. That doesn't change my feeling on the matter. That is part of being free. To take the data and use that to form a decision. But, I guarantee you with 100% certainty, the parents of the 50 kids abducted and killed in 1999 or whenever wouldn't be consoled by the statistics. And this doesn't include everything else that can go wrong with a 7 year old.

I intentionally did not draw any conclusions or make any recommendation to you base on the data I posted. I simply wanted to add some perspective to the discussion. Parenting is a deeply personal series of choices, adjustments and compromises. We are constantly balancing the need to protect against the need to allow independence. I can only assume that this is made more difficult by an order of magnitude when the parents are divorced.

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:

quote:

Originally posted by wolffy88:

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
Here are some actual statistics to consider.

About 100 kids are kidnapped by strangers per year, about half of those taken by strangers never return. There are roughly 75 million kids under 18 in the US. So .00013% of kids are taken by a stranger, 1 in 750,000, annually.



Number of children age 2 – 14 killed in car accidents, as passengers: 1300
Number of children killed each year by their family members and acquaintances: About 1000
Number of children abducted in “stereotypical kidnappings” (kidnapped by a stranger for ransom or for sexual purposes and/or transported away) in 1999, the most recent year for which we have statistics: 115.
Number of children killed by their abductor: About 50.

Murders of children by abductors constitute less than one half of 1% of all murders in America.

http://www.pollyklaas.org/abou...ps://www.google.com/

http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/

If abductions were the only danger to children, then we would all let our kids roam wherever, maybe even hitchhike there.
More statistics -

quote:

An estimated 3.7 million household burglaries occurred each
year on average from 2003 to 2007. In about 28% of these
burglaries, a household member was present during the burglary.

There are around 125,819,000 households in the US, so about 3% of households are burgled each year. Of that 3%, 28% have a member of the house present, which is around 1,036,000, or 0.82% of households in the US, in which someone is home at the time of a break in. Of those break-ins the overwhelming minority have a violent outcome. So, less than 1% of homes have someone present when the home is broken in to. In even less cases that member is a victim to violence, yet we still have precautionary measures in place in case of just such a thing. And I'd bet most of us live in an area that has statistically much less break-ins than the national average.

I understand where you are coming from, and I don't doubt statistics at all. That doesn't change my feeling on the matter. That is part of being free. To take the data and use that to form a decision. But, I guarantee you with 100% certainty, the parents of the 50 kids abducted and killed in 1999 or whenever wouldn't be consoled by the statistics. And this doesn't include everything else that can go wrong with a 7 year old.

I intentionally did not draw any conclusions or make any recommendation to you base on the data I posted. I simply wanted to add some perspective to the discussion. Parenting is a deeply personal series of choices, adjustments and compromises. We are constantly balancing the need to protect against the need to allow independence. I can only assume that this is made more difficult by an order of magnitude when the parents are divorced.

I didn't intend to come off as though I was countering you, only to question why we don't consider other statistically insignificant data when going about our day to day. We simply know that there is a possibility of danger and adjust accordingly. My apologies.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:


They also will "teach" their offspring to be less wary.

And add to that, people that feed and otherwise encourage interaction, as well as not securing garbage and food stuffs.

The result is more encounters with wildlife, where it did not occur before.

yea, then how come Justin Trudeau (the bunny in our yard), and Matt Damon (the retarded finch) wont let me pet them!?!?!?!

Nobody in their right mind would let some jittery tweaker iced-up cat touch them.

But I'm profiling...

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
Nobody in their right mind would let some jittery tweaker iced-up cat touch them.

But I'm profiling...

hm. Good point. The annoying part is both of these ilttle bastards (and their friends that dont have names) expect me to feed them daily. I'm being used I tell you.