You've been given some very good advice in this thread. Advice you may look back on and say was life altering; I hope so. The most difficult part is acting on it.

Since this is still a pretty public way of discussing a personal issue, my email is in my profile. Would be happy to discuss further. No judgment, no pressure, just my experience my friend. It's a way of paying it forward. It would not surprise me in the least if any and all the previous posters made you the same offer. In fact, I'm positive they would.

I feel blessed beyond belief to have escaped the grips of alcoholism, 15 years now. I, like others, would encourage you to seek help via AA or professional help. Few folks can defeat the disease without assistance.

First, don't drink today.
Second, go to a meeting. Get a sponsor.
Third, do some service work for the benefit of others, usually for other drunks. Your sponsor will help identify some opportunities. We don't use the word drunk despairingly like in the rest of culture.

We are what we are. Most normal people go about their lives and never give substance abuse much thought, when they do it's usually incorrect stereotypes. But, when you tell someone you're a 15 year recovering alcoholic, there's usually great admiration. Primarily because recovery still has long odds against, on the order of 20:1. It's something you have to absolutely set your goal to achieving, it doesn't do itself.

No fear, just accept it and vow to change. All it really takes is open mind and some time.

I will not tell what to do, but the suggestions/support received here is typical of the same you would receive in AA; I went to my 1st meeting 02/20/1983 and have been sober since;

There are thousands of meetings available through ZOOM; The beauty there is there is no 'stigma' associated with having to walk into a meeting; Just sign on with your 1st name, like I do (I have no outgoing audio or video on my desktop) so all I can do is listen...Great way to get a taste of what AA is like; If I was to make a suggestion, try to find a Men's Meeting. Just sit back and listen/hear what is going on & what they are talking about; Please don't compare your situation to theirs, we are all different...except the one thing we have in common;

I wish you the best, it saved my life;

I realized a long time ago I could have a alcohol problem. So I made sure it did not happen. No hard stuff. No more than two beers a day, most days only one and some days none.
If you don’t know if you have a problem then you most likely do.
Some good advice here please follow.

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
Thanks for all the responses.
Its become habit unfortunately that after work I have a few to take the "edge off".
There's no one here to talk to other than the dog and that's a part of the problem too. Bad day or good day, it's just me and the dog.

Don't underestimate the dog. Your dog loves you more than it loves itself. You are your dog's complete and total life. Use that fact as a tool. When you're trying not to have a drink, get involved with your dog. Go for a walk, ride to a park, get outside and play. If indoors, do some training with the dog. Plan to do those things daily anyway. Your dog will thank you for it.

It's a habit when you're alone, it's a habit when you're with your friend. Call it a habit if you like but stop trying to figure it out why or assign blame, just do something about it if you feel you need to. Keep it simple.

quote:

Originally posted by mjlennon:

I feel blessed beyond belief to have escaped the grips of alcoholism, 15 years now. I, like others, would encourage you to seek help via AA or professional help. Few folks can defeat the disease without assistance.

First, don't drink today.
Second, go to a meeting. Get a sponsor.
Third, do some service work for the benefit of others, usually for other drunks. Your sponsor will help identify some opportunities. We don't use the word drunk despairingly like in the rest of culture.

We are what we are. Most normal people go about their lives and never give substance abuse much thought, when they do it's usually incorrect stereotypes. But, when you tell someone you're a 15 year recovering alcoholic, there's usually great admiration. Primarily because recovery still has long odds against, on the order of 20:1. It's something you have to absolutely set your goal to achieving, it doesn't do itself.

No fear, just accept it and vow to change. All it really takes is open mind and some time.

All very true and wonderful advice. Meetings and the Big Book saved my life.

quote:

Don't underestimate the dog.

Also wonderful advice.

quote:

Originally posted by Hobbs:

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
Thanks for all the responses.
Its become habit unfortunately that after work I have a few to take the "edge off".
There's no one here to talk to other than the dog and that's a part of the problem too. Bad day or good day, it's just me and the dog.

Don't underestimate the dog. Your dog loves you more than it loves itself. You are your dog's complete and total life. Use that fact as a tool. When you're trying not to have a drink, get involved with your dog. Go for a walk, ride to a park, get outside and play. If indoors, do some training with the dog. Plan to do those things daily anyway. Your dog will thank you for it.

It's a habit when you're alone, it's a habit when you're with your friend. Call it a habit if you like but stop trying to figure it out why or assign blame, just do something about it if you feel you need to. Keep it simple.

Been in the yard with the dog a lot the past few days. Been unseasonably warm here in N.E. Ohio and I have acreage.
Still going good and I have my appointment tomorrow.
I do miss a drink and even with the nice weather I've been trying not to grill as I'll usually drink while I grill. Been kinda fast food for a few days and I never drank with McDonald's. Funny but true.
This weekend will be the test as a friend's band is playing and he invited me out. They have coffee there and since I'm a coffee freak, I should be okay. I know he won't judge as he rarely drinks.

I used yo worry that people would think it odd that I wasn't drinking. Experience taught me that most only care about what they are drinking.

If you should encounter someone who gives you crap about not drinking just laugh it off. Should they persist, lose them.

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
Been in the yard with the dog a lot the past few days. Been unseasonably warm here in N.E. Ohio and I have acreage.
Still going good and I have my appointment tomorrow.
I do miss a drink and even with the nice weather I've been trying not to grill as I'll usually drink while I grill. Been kinda fast food for a few days and I never drank with McDonald's. Funny but true.
This weekend will be the test as a friend's band is playing and he invited me out. They have coffee there and since I'm a coffee freak, I should be okay. I know he won't judge as he rarely drinks.

A good start. You only have to be sober for today. If today is going poorly, you can lay down, wake up, and start the day anew, again.
Please start seeking out other like-minded people (AA or any other mutual support group), now. Believe me when I say that doing this alone is a recipe for disaster.
You will NEED others, going forward.

quote:

This weekend will be the test as a friend's band is playing and he invited me out. They have coffee there and since I'm a coffee freak, I should be okay. I know he won't judge as he rarely drinks.

Remember... you don't HAVE to drink.... if the urge gets too strong. get up and leave.

quote:

Still going good and I have my appointment tomorrow.

Hope your appointment today was productive.

Careful engaging in activities associated with or remind you of drinking. True enough your friend may not judge; it's not him I'd be worried about.

quote:

Originally posted by mjlennon:

quote:

Still going good and I have my appointment tomorrow.

Hope your appointment today was productive.

Careful engaging in activities associated with or remind you of drinking. True enough your friend may not judge; it's not him I'd be worried about.

Appointment went very well.
I did not go see my friend's band last night, instead I went to an AA meeting.
I was kinda embarrassed to go but after the appointment on Wednesday, I need to take some action.
As the counselor pointed out, I am borderline right now and can easily lose control. Pointed out that I'm alone, work a shit ton and angry most of the time. Not good points and I'm in a danger zone. I took it to heart. I kinda knew anyways.
Did not go watch any college football yesterday because that involves beer. Same with the NFL today. Clean the house, laundry and so on.
Pretty much traced this back to March of this year. Lock downs and business shut downs. I didn't stop though, never shut down. Couldn't go anywhere except work. Couldn't see anyone. Nothing. So I drank and cooked. Upset about work losing 90% of the workforce due to layoffs. Worried about business and so on. That started it.
So now, day by day. I am going back next Saturday because I feel I need to. Maybe I can even get someone to talk to because with the state of affairs in Ohio, I think another lock down is coming.

^^^
Fantastic news!
As said above just take it one day at a time and seek help.
You can do this.

That positive news!

I'm in the same boat as you. Some days I don't even think about it and some days its all I can think about.

Just know that making positive changes doesn't mean you wont make negative choices along the way.

Don't let one mistake or slip-up cause you to abandon the goal. It's easy to get discouraged and feel like you've wasted all this effort if one mistake happens. That is not the case, its a marathon, not a sprint.

Keep busy and know that this is no different than educating yourself on anything. You're learning and struggling a bit along the way perhaps but its just the adult version of growing up.

Where do you live in Ohio. You can email me if you'd like to keep that private (check my profile). I'm just over the line in PA.

I’m very proud of you. It is difficult and humbling experience. But, you’re well on your way to accomplishing your first step. I hope they did a first step meeting for you. If not, tell them you’re a newcomer and they will. It’s enlightening.

You’ll meet a diverse set of folks in those rooms. Together, you can find sobriety.

You have just done what most people fail to do, which is put in some action and admit you need help.
Keep doing what you’re doing!
There are meetings on Zoom, in case Dewine goes lockdown again. And there is no limit on how many meetings you can attend every week.
P.S.- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired = HALT. Be aware of any/all of those. Get out of yourself and focus on something else to get out of the situation.

Stew started way too late at dealing with his problem,
His sponser told

Him to reflect on his day,at the end of every day,
And experiance the feeling of a day that you consider a win.

Stew now writes down and congratulates himself on every winning day.

His longest run ,so far is 77 days.

That's great news! Congratulations on your first step. Alcoholism killed my relationship with my father. It caused him to do many hurtful things he would've never done sober and also was the major contributor to his death at 56 years old. For someone who didn't smoke and ate healthy.

I'm happy to hear you're taking this seriously.

One day at a time brother.

Thank God for your dog and love that critter with all your heart. At one point in my life, my dog was my one physical anchor in a sea of chaos. I shit you not when I say that GOD and my DOG got me thru that all that.

So, it’s not nearly the same thing, but gardening is a way for me to avoid smoking cigars.

If you have land, it might be something to think about. That it takes time is a feature, for me...