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Picture of Perception
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Set it on the table, or hand it to the person reaching for it.




"The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford, "it is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them. They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards."
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, then the wrong lizard might get in."
 
Posts: 3029 | Location: Two blocks from the Center of the Universe | Registered: December 30, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Green grass and
high tides
Picture of old rugged cross
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I wonder what the hell your thread title has to do with your question.

Yes I am sensitive to all this bullshit. Sorry.

When the check is about to be presented the one paying motions for it. Simple as that.



"Practice like you want to play in the game"
 
Posts: 16430 | Registered: September 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A teetotaling
beer aficionado
Picture of NavyGuy
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quote:
Originally posted by old rugged cross:
I wonder what the hell your thread title has to do with your question.

Yes I am sensitive to all this bullshit. Sorry.

When the check is about to be presented the one paying motions for it. Simple as that.


Exactly, but I think it differs with the type of restaurant. White table cloth place, I watch for the waiter coming with the check and give a slight nod or small hand gesture. Whether they pick up on that or not, I always get the check. Casual place where we might be sitting in a booth, unless signaled, they usually just put it at the end of the table in the middle. Either way it's no a big deal to me.



Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves.

-D.H. Lawrence
 
Posts: 10369 | Location: Fort Worth, Texas | Registered: February 07, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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old rugged cross thanks for your contribution.
 
Posts: 138 | Registered: July 14, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Smarter than the
average bear
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quote:
Originally posted by 400m:
Gentleman, do you prefer that a server in a restaurant hands the bill to you if you are out with a girlfriend/spouse?

I was at dinner with Mrs. 400m and our server was a very young man who seemed like he really had his stuff together. When the Mrs. went to the lady’s room I gave the advice that he always present the check to the man, as he seemed unsure at first.

I’d like your opinions.


I think you gave him very bad advice. How in the hell is he supposed to know it's you and your wife? It could be a female attorney taking out a new associate. Even if it is a married couple, how does he know who's paying?

If someone asks, motions, etc., give it to them. With no indication, place it on the table. There is no reason to risk alienating someone, and there is no reason for anyone to be offended by the check being placed on the table.
 
Posts: 2876 | Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana | Registered: June 20, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Facts are stubborn things
Picture of armedprof
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Unfortunately, Chivalry has been lost in the equality world... They most likely just put it on the table...





Do, Or do not. There is no try.
 
Posts: 1673 | Location: Charlotte, NC | Registered: February 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by mark123:
The one restaurant we go to on a regular basis, they usually hand the bill to the person that indicates that we're finished with our meal and that we'd like our total.


That seems reasonable.

If the couple is married it shouldn't be a big deal, but dating is still a game, and a smart man always pays the bill. Don't budge if she offers to split it, unless you are certain you do not want to date her again. If she protests, a good response is - you can pay next time. I have also said - I invited you out, so I'm paying, when you take me out, you can pay.
 
Posts: 3295 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of barndg00
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Married 20+ years now, and when we go out with the kid, the waiter/waitress usually looks at me as they approach with the check and I wave for it. Occasionally, I have forgotten my wallet, and I nod to my wife, and the astute ones hand the bill to her. We both work, have a joint account, so it really doesn’t matter to us. When we are out by ourselves, though, usually they just set the check on the table, and one of us grabs it. No big deal to either.

However, when my family is involved, stealing the check is an art form, which has involved calls to the restaurant in advance to try and snake the check or even put a card down before we arrive. This started when I became gainfully employed and refused to let my Mom pay for lunch for me, my wife, and her, arguing that we had invited her and should pay. With that simple act of both kindness and what I feel is adulthood has expanded, and my sister has joined on a second (and independent) front. We are blessed to fight over paying the check. On the plus side, there is no animosity against someone for not paying their share, we are enjoying trying to treat each other!
 
Posts: 2046 | Location: NC | Registered: January 01, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
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Never worried about it. As stated, motion for the check, they hand it over, unless there’s been a previous arrangement made behind the scenes.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
 
Posts: 4507 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by honestlou:
quote:
Originally posted by 400m:
Gentleman, do you prefer that a server in a restaurant hands the bill to you if you are out with a girlfriend/spouse?

I was at dinner with Mrs. 400m and our server was a very young man who seemed like he really had his stuff together. When the Mrs. went to the lady’s room I gave the advice that he always present the check to the man, as he seemed unsure at first.

I’d like your opinions.


I think you gave him very bad advice. How in the hell is he supposed to know it's you and your wife? It could be a female attorney taking out a new associate. Even if it is a married couple, how does he know who's paying?

If someone asks, motions, etc., give it to them. With no indication, place it on the table. There is no reason to risk alienating someone, and there is no reason for anyone to be offended by the check being placed on the table.



I think it was bad advice too. Why would the waiter have to assume who is paying the bill. Apparently it’s a crap shoot. If he picked the wrong person they may never come back to restaurant again. Leave it in the middle of the table unless it’s obvious someone is paying the bill.


_____________________________

There is no cure for stupidity, you either die from it or with it.
 
Posts: 4801 | Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Registered: February 27, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Diablo Blanco
Picture of dking271
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quote:
Originally posted by Perception:
Set it on the table, or hand it to the person reaching for it.


This, my wife and I have been together for 35 years (married 27). I’m not easily offended and our lives and finances are completely commingled. If she wants to pay or settle a check it wouldn’t make a difference to me.


_________________________
"When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.” - Nelson Mandela
 
Posts: 2045 | Location: Middle-TN | Registered: November 05, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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Set it on the table. Or better yet, split it and let each party pay their own way.
 
Posts: 9438 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Needs a check up
from the neck up
Picture of Timdogg6
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Had a waiter hand it to my wife once clearly trying to convey a message of equality or some shit, my wife rolled her eyes and without skipping a beat handed that check to me, her hand literally never stopped moving from take to give and I had it paid cash and gone in less than 12 seconds including packing 2 kids to go.


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The entire reason for the Second Amendment is not for hunting, it’s not for target shooting … it’s there so that you and I can protect our homes and our children and and our families and our lives. And it’s also there as fundamental check on government tyranny. Sen Ted Cruz
 
Posts: 4867 | Location: Boca Raton, FL The Gunshine State | Registered: July 30, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
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I guess I'm old-fashioned or just out of touch but unless there is a pre-arranged agreement, it should be assumed that the man will pay, the man will drive, the man will hold the door, etc....

Women (wives or dates) should be taken care of by the man. It's just the way I was raised. You might call it misogyny or you might call it chivalry. Up to you.


________________________________________________________

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy." Winston Churchill
 
Posts: 16842 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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When women ask men out on dates, choose the restaurant, make the reservation, pick up the man, drive to the restaurant, check in with the hostess, and place the orders for both people with the waiter or waitress (I hate the term server), then there will be gender equality in restaurants.

Last I checked this doesn't happen very often. Except if your significant other is taking you out for a very special occasion, or if it's a business meal.
 
Posts: 3295 | Location: Indiana | Registered: December 28, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fire begets Fire
Picture of SIGnified
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What’s equality?

I thought it was all about “equity”…

lol- must be a very slow day …





"Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty."
~Robert A. Heinlein
 
Posts: 23214 | Location: Row 2F | Registered: February 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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Waiters (and I was one, many years ago) don't want to get drawn into the "who pays the bill" game whether men and women or all men or all women are involved. So the usual play will be to put the bill vaguely in the center, and let the parties decide who pays. Or maybe give to a particular person if they ask in advance. Waiters do not want to guess who is paying, even as between a man and woman as they can't always tell whether it is a date, and, even if it is, how will they know that the woman didn't ask the man out and intends to pay? That may not be as common, but you never know, and one thing I can be sure of is that waiters do not want to offend a potential tipper. It isn't 1950 any more, and isn't even 1970.

And when waiters do this, I do not care.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 50427 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
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Just tell the waiter, "Please give it to my boss, at that table, over there." Point to a random table, and leave promptly.



Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you put your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket.

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 25805 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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Posts: 9438 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Just tell the waiter, "Please give it to my boss, at that table, over there." Point to a random table, and leave promptly.


Waiters will never fall for that, but nice try.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 50427 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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