Set it on the table, or hand it to the person reaching for it.

I wonder what the hell your thread title has to do with your question.

Yes I am sensitive to all this bullshit. Sorry.

When the check is about to be presented the one paying motions for it. Simple as that.

quote:

Originally posted by old rugged cross:
I wonder what the hell your thread title has to do with your question.

Yes I am sensitive to all this bullshit. Sorry.

When the check is about to be presented the one paying motions for it. Simple as that.

Exactly, but I think it differs with the type of restaurant. White table cloth place, I watch for the waiter coming with the check and give a slight nod or small hand gesture. Whether they pick up on that or not, I always get the check. Casual place where we might be sitting in a booth, unless signaled, they usually just put it at the end of the table in the middle. Either way it's no a big deal to me.

old rugged cross thanks for your contribution.

quote:

Originally posted by 400m:
Gentleman, do you prefer that a server in a restaurant hands the bill to you if you are out with a girlfriend/spouse?

I was at dinner with Mrs. 400m and our server was a very young man who seemed like he really had his stuff together. When the Mrs. went to the lady’s room I gave the advice that he always present the check to the man, as he seemed unsure at first.

I’d like your opinions.

I think you gave him very bad advice. How in the hell is he supposed to know it's you and your wife? It could be a female attorney taking out a new associate. Even if it is a married couple, how does he know who's paying?

If someone asks, motions, etc., give it to them. With no indication, place it on the table. There is no reason to risk alienating someone, and there is no reason for anyone to be offended by the check being placed on the table.

Unfortunately, Chivalry has been lost in the equality world... They most likely just put it on the table...

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:
The one restaurant we go to on a regular basis, they usually hand the bill to the person that indicates that we're finished with our meal and that we'd like our total.

That seems reasonable.

If the couple is married it shouldn't be a big deal, but dating is still a game, and a smart man always pays the bill. Don't budge if she offers to split it, unless you are certain you do not want to date her again. If she protests, a good response is - you can pay next time. I have also said - I invited you out, so I'm paying, when you take me out, you can pay.

Married 20+ years now, and when we go out with the kid, the waiter/waitress usually looks at me as they approach with the check and I wave for it. Occasionally, I have forgotten my wallet, and I nod to my wife, and the astute ones hand the bill to her. We both work, have a joint account, so it really doesn’t matter to us. When we are out by ourselves, though, usually they just set the check on the table, and one of us grabs it. No big deal to either.

However, when my family is involved, stealing the check is an art form, which has involved calls to the restaurant in advance to try and snake the check or even put a card down before we arrive. This started when I became gainfully employed and refused to let my Mom pay for lunch for me, my wife, and her, arguing that we had invited her and should pay. With that simple act of both kindness and what I feel is adulthood has expanded, and my sister has joined on a second (and independent) front. We are blessed to fight over paying the check. On the plus side, there is no animosity against someone for not paying their share, we are enjoying trying to treat each other!

Never worried about it. As stated, motion for the check, they hand it over, unless there’s been a previous arrangement made behind the scenes.

quote:

Originally posted by honestlou:

quote:

Originally posted by 400m:
Gentleman, do you prefer that a server in a restaurant hands the bill to you if you are out with a girlfriend/spouse?

I was at dinner with Mrs. 400m and our server was a very young man who seemed like he really had his stuff together. When the Mrs. went to the lady’s room I gave the advice that he always present the check to the man, as he seemed unsure at first.

I’d like your opinions.

I think you gave him very bad advice. How in the hell is he supposed to know it's you and your wife? It could be a female attorney taking out a new associate. Even if it is a married couple, how does he know who's paying?

If someone asks, motions, etc., give it to them. With no indication, place it on the table. There is no reason to risk alienating someone, and there is no reason for anyone to be offended by the check being placed on the table.

I think it was bad advice too. Why would the waiter have to assume who is paying the bill. Apparently it’s a crap shoot. If he picked the wrong person they may never come back to restaurant again. Leave it in the middle of the table unless it’s obvious someone is paying the bill.

quote:

Originally posted by Perception:
Set it on the table, or hand it to the person reaching for it.

This, my wife and I have been together for 35 years (married 27). I’m not easily offended and our lives and finances are completely commingled. If she wants to pay or settle a check it wouldn’t make a difference to me.

Set it on the table. Or better yet, split it and let each party pay their own way.

Had a waiter hand it to my wife once clearly trying to convey a message of equality or some shit, my wife rolled her eyes and without skipping a beat handed that check to me, her hand literally never stopped moving from take to give and I had it paid cash and gone in less than 12 seconds including packing 2 kids to go.

I guess I'm old-fashioned or just out of touch but unless there is a pre-arranged agreement, it should be assumed that the man will pay, the man will drive, the man will hold the door, etc....

Women (wives or dates) should be taken care of by the man. It's just the way I was raised. You might call it misogyny or you might call it chivalry. Up to you.

When women ask men out on dates, choose the restaurant, make the reservation, pick up the man, drive to the restaurant, check in with the hostess, and place the orders for both people with the waiter or waitress (I hate the term server), then there will be gender equality in restaurants.

Last I checked this doesn't happen very often. Except if your significant other is taking you out for a very special occasion, or if it's a business meal.

What’s equality?

I thought it was all about “equity”…

lol- must be a very slow day …

Waiters (and I was one, many years ago) don't want to get drawn into the "who pays the bill" game whether men and women or all men or all women are involved. So the usual play will be to put the bill vaguely in the center, and let the parties decide who pays. Or maybe give to a particular person if they ask in advance. Waiters do not want to guess who is paying, even as between a man and woman as they can't always tell whether it is a date, and, even if it is, how will they know that the woman didn't ask the man out and intends to pay? That may not be as common, but you never know, and one thing I can be sure of is that waiters do not want to offend a potential tipper. It isn't 1950 any more, and isn't even 1970.

And when waiters do this, I do not care.

Just tell the waiter, "Please give it to my boss, at that table, over there." Point to a random table, and leave promptly.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
Just tell the waiter, "Please give it to my boss, at that table, over there." Point to a random table, and leave promptly.

Waiters will never fall for that, but nice try.