Gentleman, do you prefer that a server in a restaurant hands the bill to you if you are out with a girlfriend/spouse?

I was at dinner with Mrs. 400m and our server was a very young man who seemed like he really had his stuff together. When the Mrs. went to the lady’s room I gave the advice that he always present the check to the man, as he seemed unsure at first.

I’d like your opinions.

Check gets handed to the gentleman or, is placed on the table right in the middle of the server doesn't know if the lady is with a gentleman.

Wife and I have not returned to a couple places because of this. We'll go a few times before writing the place off due to the faux pas such as, the place where my wife was always handed the check regardless of how I was dressed.

Always to the man.

People can work as hard as they want to be about something.

But I'm not playing their game.

I've never had a server hand my wife the check. Or any girl/woman with whom I had dined in the past.

Now I did have it happen once or twice my female companion was paying. (Don't recall the circumstances.) Either the check was handed to me and I handed it to her, or, as the server was preparing to hand me the check I said "She's buying tonight" or "That's hers" and pointed to my dinner companion.

It seems to me they usually set the check on the table.

It's probably safer if they put it on the table given the potential insult felt by either of the 37 genders depending on who is what at any given table.

I haven't been inside a restaurant in a year and a half but I recall the check most often getting put on the table followed by given to me.

I prefer not ever thinking of this again. WGAF?

When I was married it seems like the nicer the restaurant we went to, the more likely I was to be handed the bill. Most places just set it on the table though which is nice now since when I go out with the ex and kids we tend to alternate who pays.

Since I'm usually eating alone it's not a problem. When I am with someone, I usually am paying and take the check. I don't worry about how the check is given.

flashguy

I believe in women’s lib! If they want my wife to pay, who am I to argue? Actually, I like to open doors and treat women special. If they don’t like it....

I've always seen it placed on the table with the advisement that server will come back to pick it up in a bit.

If it was handed directly to either my wife or I, wouldn't matter to me as we've been a single-income family for 30 years so only one of us is actually paying anyway.

Nothing to do with restaurant bills, but the title of this thread reminds me of an incident many years ago.

Before I met my wife, I was dating a woman who broke the meter on the bat-shit crazy measuring device. I had stopped by her place one afternoon to drop something off when some of the members of her feminist group started to arrive.

Two of the women who came in were a lesbian couple. The one who was really butch was not interested in the meeting, so she and I decided to walk down the street to a neighborhood bar to sip a few beers.

We got to the bar and out of habit, I held the door for her, held her chair while she seated herself at the table, pulled out my lighter to light her cigar. She thanked me, and said to me, "Even a dyke likes to be treated like a lady, once in a while."

If I am eating with the wife with or without the kids they always give me the check. Oh there will be some waiter that will give it to one of my children as a joke when they were younger.

Couldn't care less. Most of the time, the bill is set on the table. If its handed to my wife, she pays with our joint account. If its handed to me, I pay with our joint account. No difference, really.

For a long time, they have usually just set it on the table

I just don’t worry about shit like this. Does it really matter? I certainly wouldn’t stop going to a restaurant because they made a habit of handing the check to the “wrong” person. I find the less little bullshit like this I worry about the happier life seems to be.

I can only recall one recent instance when the server didn't simply place the bill on the table.

Earlier this year we were traveling. There was a brew pub across the street from our hotel in Davenport IA. My wife and I walked over for dinner. The waiter paid very close attention to me and ignored my wife. He took her order, messed it up and didn't correct it when she asked. He handed the bill to me. I promptly handed the check to her. I am pretty sure the tip was commensurate her level of happiness at the time.

Reminds me of a group I used to be in that only met about once a year... and the deal was who would pay for everyone.... I mean fighting over who gets to pay.... got to the point that one guy actually came to the restaurant earlier in the day and estimated how much the bill would be and over paid that.

Usually they try to set it on the table. But probably 30% of the time they put it down in front of me and I then hand it to my wife.

The one restaurant we go to on a regular basis, they usually hand the bill to the person that indicates that we're finished with our meal and that we'd like our total.