It's a long story, but I've been on an evolution.

I've been trying to fix my job, for much too long, by working harder, asking more of subordinates, and reporting problems to upper management. I've met with a rainbow of inaction.

Meanwhile, my relationship with my wife, and my personal well being, isn't even my personal well being anymore. My primary motivation is actually my almost 4 year old son. I just can't let him down.

So, I have to make a list and check it twice, of people to tell to go get fucked.

I had to tell my employer of over a decade, to either fix it, demote me, or fire me.

I don't deny that I have flaws, but for fucks sake, I've been held accountable for others mistakes without the leverage to correct it for much too long.

This is an awakening, which also includes me climbing out of a ration of shit and losing over 40lbs.

This would not have occurred without the love of my wife.

Know how people always say "unconditional love?"

Really, that is a crock, and that type of love is reserved for ones own children, and some family, and only to a point.

A reason I married my Wife, is because she is both reasonable, and unreasonable, and in the correct measure. She loves me unconditionally, as long as I don't fold like a fucking lawn chair.

Conditional Love, but love that's only condition, is that you love yourself. I think that some, or many, women, get the transmission of this value wrong, and men think they are judgemental cunts. Maybe, or maybe you're a piece of shit. It is your choice, or is it?

I have marketable skills, savings, a house that is worth ~$70,000 more than I paid and I've had it in a rainbow of ways. Maybe I stick to MA, but we are looking at NC, GA, FL, NV and that is the short list.

I'd love to stay in MA, it's where I grew up. But, this place doesn't want me, it's expensive as shit, and I've been working hard to make my job work. Maybe it's me, but I'll bet it's not.

Anyway. I'm so fucking tired of the internet right now, I could fart origami swans. I've shed so many "friends" between politics, firearms, and quitting drinking, that I've got my wife, son, and left hand just about. I'm a righty, but an old work injury means that the champagne of victory is left handed.

I'm about done. I just want to work, and be left to my business.

Rooting for you, Arc, and wishing you the best!

I was once in a situation similar to yours, job-wise. Finally told my boss, one day, after months and months of not making a decision, "Choose A or B. Now. Or you'll soon have my resignation."

As for the 'net: I hang out here, mostly. Occasionally a couple of tech-oriented forums. Lately I've shunned Facebook, Twitter and the like.

Of friends I have few, because I've always chosen them carefully. Acquaintances: Many. But I spend little time with most of them.

Of places to live: Of the places I have lived, and what I know of most other places I likely could live: I've chosen to stay in Michigan. Isn't the cheapest, most politically ideal or have perfect weather, but neither is it the most expensive, politically the worst or have the most disagreeable of weather.

Good luck, Arc!

Good luck and best wishes.
Sometimes a change will do you good.

Been there, brother.

Any questions on NC, let me know. Lots of money to be made in the Charlotte area...

I don't know anything about most of your post. But on the job dilio i have told the story of tslking with a co worker who was telling me be could not afford to quit.

I told him i could not afford to stay. I quit shortly there after and never regretted it.

Based on what you've written, I just re-lived everything that was happening to me about 12 years ago. Making a career decision that will permanently change your life is a bold and scary proposition. I sucked it up and did it, and I'm a much happier and better man for it.

Plan carefully, discuss with wife often, then execute without hesitation or looking back. Best of luck to you, Arc.

My thoughts are with ya arc. Good luck sir. We’d love to have ya in Texas!

FWIW, I grew up in the Chicagoland area. But when I decided to change jobs I put feelers out everywhere. I ended up living in Georgia, Southern California, Northern California and Wisconsin before I moved here.

"Home" was always where my wife and my house was located. I moved because there were so many more choices available for jobs. I guess I'm blessed because I never regretted a move. And never wanted to back to Chicago, except to visit.

Sounds like you're "done" with the current job. If it were me, I'd start looking pronto. And moving to a warmer climate is always a nice change, for you and your family.

Hope things work out for you.

Sorry for your pain. Newport News VA is always a great place for welders.

Good luck with whatever you decide. If it comes to it, come on down to North Carolina. It's a great place to live.

Arc,
Responsibility WITHOUT control
A shitstorm that never clears up.
I so get it

Time with family is the most precious commodity. Just the ordinary day to day, is the highest priority.

Life is too short.
Pull it, I did.

If you don't love yourself first, you can't love anyone else. You sound like you are that stage where you are about to turn the corner. It is in your grasp. Take action and don't settle for someone else's idea of what happiness is. You will get there.

The free state of Georgia would LOVE to have your skill set.

I have made a few life changing decisions over the years and never regretted a one of them.

Best of luck to you Arc.

I’m happy for you Arc, you’re on the cusp of something great. My only advice would be force yourself out of MA, you’ll look back and wish you did it sooner in the end.

I never thought I would leave my native Long Island, Ever. Even though I only switched to South Jersey, I love it here for so many reasons and would never want to live on LI again.

Anybody who hasn't been there at some point in their life has no brains, pride or ambition. Or they are so fantastically lucky they never need to get there.

This is your time. Go get it.

Good luck Arc!

Life is what YOU make it.

I left San Francisco for Kentucky. Life has been great since. You can do this.

Come to Texas, there are plenty here that can give you some info on the opportunities here. I would like to live somewhere else (the east coast would be great) but my job skills make me a really good living here and are of no use in those places.