Lots of good advice on here. Sounds like you just need to sort a few things out. With the help of your wife you'll find the correct path. Good luck to you.

Best of luck to you.

Arc,
Feel your pain we live in a place that is vastly different from when we were young, our home state does not want people like us here. Every day it is more and more evident that all we are is source of funding for the left wing elite, third world inhabitants, illegal aliens and politicians. It's a one party socialist dictatorship, sadly it will not get better here in fact I fear most of our freedoms will slowly erode in Massachusetts in the name of safety.

I hope you find the solace you seek.
Good luck and prayers,

Spunk

quote:

Originally posted by BamaJeepster:
You may want to include Knoxville/Oak Ridge TN if you decide to bounce. The lab and factories at Oak Ridge are always looking for people with your skill set.

Agree with this. Also, this area has shockingly low cost of living. The housing market has been steadily increasing, no big wild swings, but the public schools aren't the best.

quote:

Originally posted by ScreamingCockatoo:
Come to Georgia. You can always come to my place to shoot.

We gots deers and bears and birds and all kinds of critters here! Plenty of work for a guy with your abilities here in GA. Don't sit on the porch in your old age saying "I wish I would have....."

Arc,

I'm sure there's a magic dollar figure that makes misery worth it. I do not know anyone who has found that number.

You can always visit. I go back to places I've lived long-term semi-regularly. The memories are still there.

Do what you have to do to find happiness brother.

Arc,

You'll land on your feet. Good things happen to those who are deserving and worthy.

Years ago, interviewing for a job with a Navy captain, I was asked why I wanted that civilian job at the nuclear shipyard when I could make several times more elsewhere (in private industry). Told him that a job I thoroughly enjoyed was worth much more than being miserable with a high salary. And yes I had worked at that location years earlier in a more junior military capacity. I was hired and still deem it the best job I ever had.

Best of luck. I think you've made the right decision. Moving is better than staying and being miserable, and it sounds like you are pretty well set to be able to move. You should consider Tennessee as well, we need more conservatives to balance out the recent influx of blue staters that are moving in hell bent on turning this state into the same place they are running from.

Arc, I've read and 'listened' to your strong advice aimed toward all the advice seekers on this forum for years, knowing your advice comes from solid knowledge and experience. This awakening is the next big chapter in your life. Best of luck in your new endeavors and keep on keeping on man.

Come check out Nevada. I'll show you around.

Bruce

quote:

Originally posted by armedprof:
I left Ohio 11 years ago for the Carolina Blue sky of Charlotte. I have not regretted it once. I am happier then ever. The sun is out most of the time. The economy is good and I have never made more money.

We would welcome you with open arms.

I lived in Charlotte 3 1/2 years. Its way over crowded, like much of the state and expensive as hell. As for Ohio, very affordable living, some quaint little towns where one can slow down and enjoy life, heavy industry throughout the state and good state for gun owners. I seem to be caught between northern Kentucky, which I like a lot and, South west Ohio. Kentucky is a fine little state. Car insurance is high. A lot of freedom here. Too much temp jobs and warehousing here. Oh and Mexicans are every where. Make a move and don't look back Arc. Its refreshing to the soul.

Every time I look back at my IT past, as well as many of the people and corporate environments I know, see, and hear about as time goes on, I can't help but think of the quote from the Tommy Lee Jones, William Strannix character from Under Siege... "I got tired of coming up with last-minute desperate solutions to impossible problems created by other ******* people." and chuckle a little. I much prefer having technology as just an interest and a hobby.

I'm on my third career in over 20 years of post bachelor's degree employment and small business experience. I'm happy to say that third time was the charm for me. I have dealt with situations like you mention and making the necessary changes can be tantamount to trying to get a hippo to roll over by pushing them over while an elephant is sitting on you. Something's gotta give and it may or may not need to be you.

I have always given great consideration to family life and quality of life in general when making career decisions, while of course taking into consideration the need to provide a good, comfortable life for my family and myself. I have never been driven by the need to be incredibly wealthy, but that doesn't mean I have not been motivated and made significant efforts and crucial decisions to find that balance of career satisfaction and income vs personal life. Life can also sometimes throw you a curve ball that you have to just deal with as has been the case in my work career and other experiences. Thank God everything has seemed to work out though.

Florida is good for metal working careers and the firearms laws, weather, and cost of living are favorable. I'm sure you will get it all sorted out and make the right decision for yourself and your family Arc. You sound like you are on the right track.

If you want to stay in MA, maybe you should consider leaving the overpopulated metro area and move West of Woosta'. Your housing dollars will go further, you can get a house with some land in a nice small town. With under 4% unemployment, I know PLENTY of places that will hire someone with a clue, a decent work ethic, drug free, and no constant need to play with their phone... I don't like Mass, but If I had to live on the other side of the state I would leave altogether.

Come on down to Georgia and be free.

Or Florida which does not have a state income tax.

quote:

Originally posted by MaSigchist:
If you want to stay in MA, maybe you should consider leaving the overpopulated metro area and move West of Woosta'. Your housing dollars will go further, you can get a house with some land in a nice small town. With under 4% unemployment, I know PLENTY of places that will hire someone with a clue, a decent work ethic, drug free, and no constant need to play with their phone... I don't like Mass, but If I had to live on the other side of the state I would leave altogether.

If I move, I'll be moving out of state. I live outside of metro Boston, because I can't afford to live near the city. It's easier to tell people I live in Boston, and certainly for Internet purposes, better to be not specific.

I live far enough away that I could afford a home, but not so far away that the commute to the homes I work on is brutal.

Moving back to MA, when I did, was a specific choice. Plenty of folks told me I was nuts for that. But, life is more complex. Now, to consider a move away from MA, holds its own complexities.

This job that I've been doing for the past 11 years, on its face is just renovating homes. But, it is deeper than that, and the service the company provides goes beyond craftsmanship. We build a lifetime of trust. For me to be at the point of thinking of leaving is really something.

I've always been a hard worker. Able to find solutions through wit or experience, and default to elbow grease if nothing else. I'm sure I can find work somewhere, but it has to be right, and moving a family is so much more than moving my mercenary self.

Moving out of MA would mean a host of things, not the least of which is that my Mom was recently admitted to the hospital. We know even less than the doctors know, right now.

Things have gotten deeply complex inside this last year, and if I do leave the state, I won't do it lightly, or for an uncertain future.

I've been trying to fix my job for some time, and I've had a recent very frank conversation with the owner of the company. It's not about money, it's about culture, and more. I can only go into so much detail, because.

I have to say, that while I do have the skills to "work anywhere," I'm not sure that my attitude will allow me to. Some of you may remember that I lived in NC for a while and worked for Duke, and that is when I was younger and more tolerant. I mean a more tolerant version of me, so really I was probably a prick back then, and now I'm just an intolerant ogre on the job. Or maybe not. Perhaps I just want other people to do their job, acknowledge, fix, absorb and retain their own mistakes, and grow.

If I were single, I'd be in the wind. I'm not, so a move will require a job search and a home. This will take time, and in the interim, I will be in negotiations with my current job. This doesn't mean I'm not open to changing what I do, it just means that I'm not closed to dialogue. I don't assume that I'm in the right, I just know that I've got a history of being an earner, and that is not cast aside lightly.

Florida certainly has a lot of home renovation work available, especially with all the storms recently. Could be just what you need (elevated demand) to get the solid foothold you would want. Even without storms, Florida has a pretty steady level of building and construction related work. You also have your pick of settings of everything from pine trees, hills, and rivers to palm trees and beaches, rural to urban. I can understand family ties coming into consideration and it is a difficult consideration to have to make. Good luck with making the right decision for you and your family. God has a way of pointing you in the right direction, you just need to recognize the nudge and make the right call.

I'm still working on this, and instead of just flat quitting, I mean to deliver a successful project to a happy homeowner, perhaps just this one last time.

From now, til the completion of this project, I intend to expose just who should do their fucking job, mind their business, and get out of my fucking way.

I've gotten a little too nice over the years, and now that I've got carpenters who think fuckups are just "a couple hours to fix," well, we're at an impasse.

If it does come to a new job, hell yes I'm out of MA for sure. I've had enough in so many ways.

My goal is to deliver a quality project to a happy homeowner, then I'll fucking PULL IT if necessary.

It's one thing to have to wrestle subs, schedule, unforeseen problems, you know, home renovation.

Putting up with a crew full of bitches, that's the problem. Well, that, and a broken or nonexistent structure for holding said bitches accountable.

DO YOUR JOB.

Best advise I ever heard........Run to something, not away from something!
Best of luck working out what is best for you and your family!

quote:

I've gotten a little too nice over the years, and now that I've got carpenters who think fuckups are just "a couple hours to fix," well, we're at an impasse.

That's just unacceptable. I literally feel like shit if I create a fuck up that takes 15 minutes to fix. As a leader it's absolutely unacceptable to accept that crap, as for the managers/owners if they aren't on board with tightening up the ship there is no reason to stay. I have little tolerance for fuck ups, they should be very, very far between. I understand misunderstandings or changes, but fuck ups kill productivity and profitability.

Hope you current project is a home run and best of luck in your decisions after you fulfill your commitment to your current customer.