Come to Georgia. You can always come to my place to shoot.

Nothing wrong with a reboot. I was unhappy with job, tired of RI...took wife and son and moved to NH- it was worth it. I asked my son if he’d want to move back to RI “nope” was his answer. Of the states you mention, I’d probably go to NC.

Realizing you want or need help is the first step. Quitting drinking is huge Congratulations.

It's the environment you're trying to l live in. It's changed and is now toxic to your lifestyle. There's many good places where you'll thrive. Good Luck.

I'm pretty much in the same boat you're just ahead of me in proper thinking. I'd be happier on a fundamental level if I wasn't in the Seattle area.

To some degree I'm in the same boat. I turned down the promotion, partially because I'd earn less money in management, AND work longer hours with more responsibility and some how less control of my day to day stuff. Being out of the field would be nice on my body. Now I'm considering going back to school for MBA or finding an entry level job in Finance and starting fresh.

The only thing keeping me back is the short to midterm loss of income. If I do either it's ramen noodles for years, if I do more schooling it's ramen plus loans.

Good luck in whatever is next, or maybe, just maybe you'll get what you need out of current gig.

Quitting drinking can clarify your thinking. It certainly did for me
in several areas.
Sounds like you're on the right track.

Family, location, job. In that order.

It sounds like you have the family part down. Getting the drinking under control can be life changing by itself, getting the internet usage under control can have just as much of an impact on your well being.

I suggest you move out of MA. Brainstorm a list with your wife about what you both want in a location. Hobbies, political climate, schools, weather.... everything you can think of. Then start looking around the country, take some trips to visit places and get a feel for them.

After you find the where, then look for the job.

I could make a lot more money if I was willing to relocate but this is where we want to be. Being here makes us both happy and there are plenty of jobs around here that pay well. Once you find your location I expect that you will find enough job opportunities to allow you to live there.

Best of luck and remember that this forum can be a huge resource to help you out.

quote:

Originally posted by arcwelder76:
I have marketable skills, savings, a house that is worth ~$70,000 more than I paid and I've had it in a rainbow of ways. Maybe I stick to MA, but we are looking at NC, GA, FL, NV and that is the short list.

I'd love to stay in MA, it's where I grew up. But, this place doesn't want me, it's expensive as shit, and I've been working hard to make my job work. Maybe it's me, but I'll bet it's not.

It's not you.

Similar to you, I grew up in CA all my life. But now I'm a pariah, and they are charging me bigtime for the privilege. They hate me here. It has become an unbearable place to live for people of my kind.

This is no way to live life, especially a young family. Americans through the centuries have migrated, moved on to bigger and better things, and now is no different. We've cashed out, leaving in 2 months and can't wait. We're older than you, but feel some of the best years are ahead of us, just out of this state. Good luck with any decision you make.

Time to move out of commieland.

Many years ago I had an assignment working with a major advertising photographer taking portraits of officers and professors at the U.S. Naval Academy in their offices.

One thing you do is engage the subject in conversation about what they do. If successful they "wake up" and become alive, resulting in a vastly better image.

One Naval aviator, a Commander, had one of these or something similar on his desk.


Ejection handle from A-6

I recognized it, but played "dumb" (some say its not an act) and asked him about it.

His reply was something to the effect of "That's what is left of a $30M aircraft after an engine died just as the cat shot."

It "awoke" him, right away. Over 30 minutes or so, he told us all about the incident, though sadly I can't recall most of the details. Of what I recall, he said, although I think it embellishment, that the medical guys had a hard time getting it out of his hand.

But, he said something I recall with clarity.

"When you realize there is no other option, don't hesitate, reach, grab, and yank hard."

My retelling of this story has a purpose. My wife left me three years ago, over a long list of issues. Some relate to my reluctance to leave where I worked for a decade.

Had I not hesitated, had I reached, grabbed, and yanked hard and ejected from a company that was killing my spirit, making me bitter and nasty, and looked far, far away from Loudoun County, VA, I might still be married.

So, arcwelder76, you've done the thinking, and reached the end of list of options, you are now in the "reach" phase. When the time comes, yank hard. It will save you and your family ONLY if you yank hard enough, soon enough.

Arc, I hope you don't do what I did the first time I faced a closing door. My advice is to find an open one rather than pounding on the closed one.

Good luck! I have been making similar changes in lifestyle and alcohol, and after 18years at my company thinking of the same. One piece of advice I try to live by that might help - never run away from something, run to something. Hard, takes some patience but work it from that angle if you can.

Best thoughts and wishes on figuring out your situation, it's a tough place to be when you are saddled with the responsibility for results but then are not given the authority to make the changes you need to make. Been there, done that and it really sucks.

You may want to include Knoxville/Oak Ridge TN if you decide to bounce. The lab and factories at Oak Ridge are always looking for people with your skill set.

Arc, I was going to post something similar, but as usual, kept it to myself.

I quit my job three weeks ago over ethical issues. I am a commercial appraiser, and my boss was just doing shit and asking me to make adjustments that could lose me my license. For her "pet" clients, she would essentially make adjustment criteria up to make things look better.

After a trip or two to PA and some local assignments for these "pet" clients, I said I wouldn't sign the reports. That is essentially quitting. Got shown the door.

When I was growing up, my family moved every couple of years. I am ready to move on in a bunch of ways after three weeks of searching for a job locally.

I left Ohio 11 years ago for the Carolina Blue sky of Charlotte. I have not regretted it once. I am happier then ever. The sun is out most of the time. The economy is good and I have never made more money.

We would welcome you with open arms.

Best of luck,

Agree with your comments on Ma,expensive, politics suck. Etc......

We're prerrty much stuck for the foreseeable future, my wife works for the Medical school which is a state job and has 30 years in towards her pension, my aging parents are here and I have a 13 year old daughter that's doing well in our school district.

I will not retire here but that's 10 years away minimum. What your contemplating requires balls and I admire that.

Its always easier to find a job when you have one. The tough part is selling your home and finding another. Still much easier if you're working.

I'm an old man now. I don't want another job of any kind. But every time I changed, I did better at the new one. That was pretty much contrary to the threats I'd received as I was leaving. Nothing calms you as much as knowing you're leaving and not telling anyone.

I have a couch and several camping blow up matresses. I could host you for a "feelers weekend" if you want to come down and check out the Tampa Bay area for job, school, housing opportunities. I'm not a welder and don't know much about the industry but do know that the Port of Tampa does ship repairs and seems to be hiring welders all the time. Hit me up here, FB, Messenger or text. I'll pick you up at the airport and return your ass whenever you're ready. Whatever I can do to help. Let me know.

Edited to add... I don't have weeeknds off. I'm off on Wednesday and Sundays and get off work at 4:00pm on Saturday. But we could make whatever work. Between me, Terry (TSM11) and Rotndad Jr. We'll make it happen somehow.

Best of luck to you, Arc, as you make these choices. I did not see Utah on your list, but due in part to the new Silicon Slopes, there is a commercial and residential building boom here. Skilled labor for every building trade is in short supply.

I have a friend with 30+ years experience who is a senior VP with a large commercial contractor if you need a contact here. His company has done projects in southern Utah/St. George, and I suspect he knows people in Las Vegas.

If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know.

I feel your pain! Stuck in NY for who knows how long. Wife has a job that gives us great insurance, and I've got a plumbing business that has a history between my dad and I for over 50 years.

I would love to move to a less restrictive state but we have accumulated so much stuff and property, not to mention a damn fine client base, I fear that I will die here.

My last boss told us he was entitled (yes entitled) to make at least $1,000,000 a year. After that lofty goal was met, then bills would be paid and then what was leftover was for salary and benefits. It took a while, way to long quite frankly, but I found a much better job and am much happier. Sometimes you just need to “pull it” as you said and leave. As you may know, it’s eaiser to find a new job while you are employed. I would start looking now. Good luck.