I have a very close friend who has been engaged 5 times over the past few years. Timeline goes something like this:

1. Engaged and married. Then got divorced after 2 kids.

2. Engaged and marred. Then got divorced and remarried the same woman. Then got divorced.

3. Engaged. Relationship ended before marriage.

4. Engaged. Relationship ended before marriage.

5. Engaged. Relationship just recently ended before marriage.

6. Literally, in the span of a few weeks after relationship 5. fell apart, he is madly in love again and plans to ask his current woman to marry him this Christmas.

I truly don't get it. I have been married to Mrs. Angus for 34 years so I cannot fathom this kind of upheaval every few years.

What is the world could be causing this strange behavior?

I recently talked to him about his latest relationship. I bluntly told him he was crazy for proposing to this current woman. He said I have been married too long to understand true love.

I said OK and wished him well.

It sounds like he's the one that doesn't understand true love ...

His little head is controlling his big head is my guess.

The upheaval isn't the issue, the real issues are:

his shitty picker

[armchair psychology warning] what is he avoiding confronting about his own personal shortcoming(s) that he is trying to "fix" with a serious relationship [/armchair psychology warning]

Both bullets points take time and introspection.

quote:

Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
He said I have been married too long to understand true love.

That's nearly as dumb as is relationship hopping

---

Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.

Self destructive behavior. Much like cutting or substance abuse.
He has a big hole in him from something and is looking to fill it with feminine approval. I see so much of this and it makes me sad but our sick culture is raising pussies who believe "Everybody loves Raymond" is the typical family dynamic where the man is a buffoon and lucky to have a woman around who only belittles him and withholds physical affection.
That is not so.
This should be required reading for every boy before they are allowed to graduate high school. And something every father should instill into their son.
https://www.goodreads.com/book...07-the-rational-male

quote:

Originally posted by Ozarkwoods:
His little head is controlling his big head is my guess.

You know I used to think this but he's 50 years old! I would assume those wild oats have grown and harvested by now.

There has to be a demon he's fighting but he seems "normal" in all other aspects of his life.

I'm really curious as to what is causing his behavior.

quote:

Originally posted by Angus the Kid:

I'm really curious as to what is causing his behavior.

Read the book I linked above. It answers all questions about this dynamic.
Every man who reads this will not believe how blind they were to human nature and how to view relationships. You will be able to truly understand how your partner sees you and how to be successful at making both of you very happy.

There are many,many people who cannot live unless there is upheaval of one kind or another in their life regardless of what direction it comes from. Spouse, kids, relative, coworker the drama must be ongoing and continuous. I've known several people like this. I usually break ties and run away otherwise you will get caught up in it. At the very least listening to their constant drama stories.

Don't think there's a cure they are just hard wired this way.

quote:

Originally posted by Ozarkwoods:
His little head is controlling his big head is my guess.

You can get laid pretty well without going through with marriage, it isn't even that difficult.

quote:

I'm really curious as to what is causing his behavior.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ask him about his parent's marriage and his father's attitudes towards women.

quote:

Originally posted by lastmanstanding:
There are many,many people who cannot live unless there is upheaval of one kind or another in their life regardless of what direction it comes from.

<snip>

Don't think there's a cure they are just hard wired this way.

I have a daughter like this. It's exhausting to be around her.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:

quote:

I'm really curious as to what is causing his behavior.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ask him about his parent's marriage and his father's attitudes towards women.

I'd bet the farm mom wore the pants and dad's vocabulary was limited to "yes, dear" and "happy wife, happy life. Right guys?"

Are the women he falls for similar in some way - and I mean in their personality, not appearance.

He clearly has a broken picker, and it is often because something in the person's past compels them to pick the same wrong choice over and over again. It is possible that if he got to the bottom of it that he could recognize and stop the cycle.

(I am a lawyer and handle divorces. I see a lot of relationships that have soured. With serial divorces, this is often the pattern.)

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:

(I am a lawyer and handle divorces. I see a lot of relationships that have soured. With serial divorces, this is often the pattern.)

I shudder to think of what you have seen come in and out of your doors. Poor bastards all of them.
You never really know a woman until you meet her in family court.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Self destructive behavior. Much like cutting or substance abuse.
He has a big hole in him from something and is looking to fill it with feminine approval.

This is probably pretty near the mark. He's probably also in love with falling in love and can't graduate to the next level in a relationship.

True love. hahahaha

Get the hell outta here with that crap.

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
Are the women he falls for similar in some way - and I mean in their personality, not appearance.

He clearly has a broken picker, and it is often because something in the person's past compels them to pick the same wrong choice over and over again. It is possible that if he got to the bottom of it that he could recognize and stop the cycle.

(I am a lawyer and handle divorces. I see a lot of relationships that have soured. With serial divorces, this is often the pattern.)

I have not spent much time with any of these women. I do know the last three have been nurses, and he does not work in the health care industry.

And some people are wired the other way. lol

I once had someone ask me.. "You've never dated someone that you thought you might want to marry?"

I said I've never dated anyone that I thought I wanted to keep dating.

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.”

Raylan Givens

quote:

Originally posted by Angus the Kid:
I do know the last three have been nurses, and he does not work in the health care industry.

Well... there's a few clues right there.