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eh-TEE-oh-clez |
I believe in the multi-generational family unit. My prosperity in life will be the sum of both my and my children's successes. I will do whatever it takes to make sure they get not just far, but further than I did in life. If that means a financial investment to ensure that they get a graduate education, and all the money they need so that they aren't distracted by early income, then that's what it takes. If it means an ass kicking and a real fear of not having money for necessities, then I go that route instead. I guess it depends on how my kids turn out. But, if they stay motivated and focused, then my money is theirs. It would be theirs when I die anyway. It's how my parents did it, and I'm grateful to them. | |||
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| Cruising the Highway to Hell  |
Kids here paid for their own cars, fuel, insurance, cell phones etc... I took care of food and housing. They started working during high school to cover that stuff. I paid College tuition, room and board, they had to take care of books, fees, spending money, car and expenses. The rules were B average or better for me to pay for college, and they had 30 days after graduating or getting below a b average or quitting school before I stopped paying for housing and food. They could stay at home if they paid rent. Both kids graduated from college with 3.5 or better GPAs, both had jobs right out of college and have supported themselves without issue. Neither has moved back home and are gainfully employed. “Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.” ― Ronald Reagan Retired old fart | |||
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Invest Early, Invest Often |
My Mom collected a minimal amount for "Room & Board" and then ending up giving it all back to me when I moved out. I used it toward furniture and such. | |||
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| Little ray of sunshine  |
I supported mine through college, although they earned their own pocket money. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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| A teetotaling beer aficionado  |
It is a dilemma these days between not supporting your child and coddling them. In my family (kids and grandkids) I've seen both. One, the oldest granddaughter in my opinion, (which I don't express out loud), has been coddled and given too much by her parents early on and ongoing. She is just 22 years old and has three children, is going through divorce. Zero skills other than posting questionable photos on social media. Started community job training several times and dropped out. I think it was all talk about how she was turning things around. In the mean time the parents, who are in early retirement looking to enjoy the good life they worked hard for and saved, are keeping the three kids two weeks a month, while the daughter "shacks up" with her new internet squeeze, and are paying pretty much all of her bills. Car, phone, insurance etc. Why does the granddaughter do this? Because she can. Me, I'd tell her okay, you can live here and we'll take care of immediate expenses, but we need to talk about a plan and you need to stick to it. Unfortunately, I or her parents would never put her out to live under a bridge, and she knows that. /sigh Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves. -D.H. Lawrence | |||
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| Staring back from the abyss  |
I started paying room and board the day I graduated high school. Lived at home that summer and subsequent summers in college paying a nominal fee. Went to college and through post graduate degrees on my own dime and I expected the same from my kids. They did just fine. For the life of me, I do not understand why people sweat so much worrying about paying for their adult kids' education/living expenses. One of my best friends was lamenting just the other day about how he needs to come up with $30K/yr for his kid to go to college. I just let it go, but it boggles my mind. Why? He's a grown man. Let him figure it out. We all did. Now...if you can afford it, then knock yourself out. Otherwise? No. You are an adult. Time to make your own way. ________________________________________________________ "Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton. | |||
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| If you see me running try to keep up  |
My daughter lived with us until she got her Masters Degree and she worked the whole time. We paid for school up to grad school. She paid for her car insurance and cell phone and room and board (it was based on what she made and increased as she made more). She also saved half of what she made. It taught her a few things, to live within her means, time management, how to save and what being on her own would be like. When she moved out she had good credit, a brand new car, zero school debt and bought all her furniture and furnishings for her apartment (we did help with some). She had over 40k saved when she moved out and has more now. The one thing I regret is not making her invest. You can find fault in my ways but I think it worked out well and she learned habits that will help her in life. | |||
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| Three Generations of Service  |
As others have said: Graduated High School in June. Got a full time job (and started paying Room and Board) in July. WAY cheaper than I could have rented a place (hell, even a room...) for but emphasized money management and responsibility. No way no how Dad was going to pay one thin dime toward college. If I wanted to go, it was on me. Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. | |||
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| Laugh or Die |
If they're graduating high school this year, where are they getting the money to pay for this? Do they have jobs in addition to going to school full time? Can they actually afford it? Do they have college or job plans for after graduation? ________________________________________________ | |||
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Spread the Disease |
Agreed. Also, the grades better be good. ________________________________________ -- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. -- | |||
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| Member |
_________________________________________________ "Once abolish the God, and the Government becomes the God." --- G.K. Chesterton | |||
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| Member |
I've got one that shirks responsibility every time she can, 34 and never has worked a full time job, out of wedlock baby got her a full time ride  Youngest is 21 and a full time go getter, full time job, honors in college, a sweetheart!! I know what happened, oldest daughter hooked up with a boy, whose mother was on welfare. She thought that was the way to go, yep, go all the way down there!! _________________________________________________ "Once abolish the God, and the Government becomes the God." --- G.K. Chesterton | |||
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| Too old to run, too mean to quit! |
I was paying room and board to live at home when I was 14. Had a paper route, and on top of that worked as a bell hop at the largest hotel in town. (in North Idaho). Bought my own clothes from that age as well. Also bought my first vehicle (other than a bicycle) at age 15. Things finally reached the stage that my mother told me that if I wanted to join the army (I was 17) she would sign the papers. Dad had no knowledge of the whole thing. I was at the reception center in Spokane that evening. Never looked back. Something told me as I enlisted that I just HAD to get to Germany. Had no idea why until I met a girl there. She lived in a small village about 60 miles from where I was stationed, and ended up being the only girl I have ever dated. Been married to her for about 63 years now. As to collecting money from our daughter, we just sent her the money we got from whatever program it is that keeps sending out money. She and her husband have not received a dime of all that "free money". And they can/could use it!! Elk There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour) "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. " -Thomas Jefferson "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville FBHO!!! The Idaho Elk Hunter | |||
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| Member |
We don't have any kids but I can tell you what my parents did for us, and I think it worked out well and started me on a good path for success. When we turned 18 we had 2 options. 1 - Go to college for 2 years at community. They would pay for everything college related with no expenses. 2 - You could live at home but you had to pay rent. It wasn't much and it was not about the money but about responsibility and economics. We had to pay for everything car related from the get go. If you wanted a car you had to buy it, pay for insurance and maint. Dad would help with regular maint. Worked out well for me and am thankful they taught me the value of money at a young age. We also had to tithe 10% on any money that we made. | |||
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| Muzzle flash aficionado  |
Adding to my earlier post. My grades in high school were good enough that I received a 4-year scholarship to the local college, which paid for tuition and some books. I rode the city buses to and from school for 3 years, then bought my own car (my money)--I paid for gas, but my dad had me on his insurance. Main expense to my parents was food I ate at home. flashguy Texan by choice, not accident of birth | |||
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| Member |
Never. It was hard enough to borrow five bucks from them. They are both self supporting adults with good jobs. They had jobs as teenagers and applied the funds to whatever they wanted. They always understood that they would complete college and behave responsibly. For the most part, that happened. | |||
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| A man's got to know his limitations  |
My boy had a job in high school. Then joined the USA Airforce. He never really cost me much at all. He is a great man and I got two grandboys. "But, as luck would have it, he stood up. He caught that chunk of lead." Gunnery Sergeant Carlos Hathcock "If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it." Clarence Worley | |||
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| Member |
My folks said I need to going to college full time and getting passing grades or pay rent. I was also on my own at 18 as far as vehicle and gas and insurance. So that meant a job. | |||
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I'm Fine |
When they finished their education. One is still in grad school and lives at home. We help as best able since we can't pay for her college. The other stopped at associates degree and is living at home while working full time. We started collecting a percentage of her check right after she was able to start contributing to her 401k. Partly so she can learn that the job she has isn't really as much money as she thinks... She'll need a better job to actually "live on" if not staying with us. ------------------ SBrooks | |||
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Alea iacta est |
This is a little different because my stepson is much older, but... My stepson moved in with me after he divorced his wife. He lived with us for 18 months. He paid for his own food (mostly) and covered his own car expenses. As far as rent, I charged him $500 per month. I put that money into a savings account. When he was moving into an apartment with his new girlfriend 18 months later, I took the $9k out of savings and handed it to him. It was quite helpful for him to have that. The “lol” thread | |||
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