First let me say I have no children.

The day I graduated High School my dad told me it was time to start paying rent. That was back in 1984.
I had no problem with it. I had job that paid me good money at the time. I only went to college part time for a few semesters before I decided it was not for me. If I had gone to college full time he probably would not have collected rent.
Back then I paid my own bills and cost them nothing other than food/shelter.
If my memory serves me I payed around $150.00 a month.
I think the main reason my father did this to teach me responsibility and it worked.

For our two sons we’ll have to go back to when they turned 16. Upon each of their 16th birthday we bought them a car and put them on our insurance policy. They were responsible for paying their insurance as it was an incentive for them to not get any tickets, which worked.

When they graduated High School and went to college we agreed that we would pay for 4 years of a full ride, room and board, tuition, books and fees. If they didn’t graduate in 4 years they were responsible for everything beyond that. Their summer job have them spending money for the year. They lived with us at home during the summer for free and as was said above they ate us out of our house! Our oldest didn’t graduate in 4 and joined the Army, he came back a man and finished his degree getting straight A’s. He just finished getting his Masters in accounting and he and his wife live in their own home with their new daughter.

Upon graduation from college we gave our other son 3 months to get a job and move out. Well he decided to just play video games...then we started charging room and board starting at $100 per week and we agreed to ratchet up the fee as time went on. That lasted about a month when he finally got a decent job and moved in with his girlfriend (now wife) and they are closing on their first home next month.

Sometimes you have to be a little firm with them...

No kids but my personal experience was my parents took good care of me and covered my expenses ( pre cell phone era so we are talking household expenses or “room and board” plus auto insurance)
While I attended college. I took care of most of the college expenses ( tuition books etc) myself for the first couple years while I was going to a local low cost community college.
When I transferred to an out of state 4 year school they helped me with tuition ( which I paid back) and I took college loans ( also paid back)
Once I graduated college for the couple years I lived with them after college I paid them $100 a week room and board ( this was in 1990-1993 or so)
Both my older sister and brother had the same deal when they grew up and stayed home. All of us didn’t move out until we got married. Parents didn’t mind us being at home and there was no real advantage to moving out- none of us had that urge to be on our own.

I’d guess every family does it differently, partly because of the parents’ own experiences and partly because different kids benefit most from different approaches.

My experience growing up was a “free ride” tuition, room, & board scholarship from my Mom. Entertainment was on me, and I had to work anyway to maintain my sanity. When I talked to Mom about how much she was spending, she said she was “Converting capital.”

My wife finished high school, did a program to get the license, and went to work as a psych tech. After we got married, we put her through college.

Son just turned nineteen. He’s in college with tuition, room, and board paid for by us. He does have a scholarship (that saves a ton) which requires that he carry a full load and maintain a B average or better. He keeps talking about getting a job. I told him that’s fine, as long as he can maintain the grades, but as far as I am concerned his job is to get everything he can out of the education he’s there to get and that scholarship saves something like $66k over four years. He has no car. We get him to college at the beginning of the term (and back at the end) and he gets around on foot or bike. The kids have something to drive when they’re home. When they go off to school if they want wheels it is on them to purchase, maintain, insure, pay for parking, etc. That was the deal I had when I was in school and I think it makes sense. He was considering a car and after investigating costs for parking, insurance, etc, he decided against it. When he is home, I work him as much as I can on the ranch. There are always projects and he is getting more and more handy with the dozer, excavator, skiploader, truck, etc. I pay him as he is at least as helpful as the employees, and I figure it is good for him to be rewarded with some cash for his labors as well as the education of learning how to do stuff.

Daughter is a junior in high school and I don’t expect we’ll treat her any differently when she heads off to school, though she may not share her brother’s interest in working on the ranch and may have to go find other employment to fund her discretionary spending.

Aeteocles put it well. My Mom has worked and continues to work to maintain and improve the family ranch and leave it better than it she got it for the next generation. She also worked to educate us and help us be prepared to find our own way in life. When the lovely bride and I bought our ranch in another county our intent was to build something special here to eventually leave to the kids. The way things have gone and appear poised to continue going, we may end up selling and moving to more free pastures, but we hope and plan to leave something for the kids to work with and to make sure they are equipped (educated) to make the most of their lives and whatever we leave them.

Collecting money from them may not ever enter into it. I did once borrow money from Mom and she collected the repayment with interest, as agreed. I could see the same happening with the kids if ever needed. I could also see them not needing it.

Upon obtaining their license - their portion of auto insurance.

Paid first 50K of college. Everything after that gets paid back at 3% interest.

Upon graduation, $500 month rent & utilities.

My daughter decided not to go to college after high school and went to work. She still lives at home (22 years old now). I allowed her to live here for a year after she graduated high school rent free, and then told her she was welcome to stay but she needed to start contributing. She now pays $400/month which gets her rent, food, cell phone, and all the utilities/internet/netflix, etc. She pays her own insurance, gas, spending money, and clothes.

While our children were in school we didn't charge them to live with us but they had to earn their own spending money. We provided a car but they were responsible for any damage. They paid up front for tuition and we reimbursed them at the end of each semester for their costs except we would not reimburse for any classes in which their grades were below a C. Only one of our children had student debt when they graduated ($100K) and he paid it off in three years.