From the Babylon Bee.



ATLANTA, GA — An official report released by the Center for Disease Control warned U.S. consumers Monday that kale is still utterly revolting, and advised citizens against eating the disgusting green cabbage in any form.

At a time when consumer fears are flaring up due to an ongoing E. coli outbreak tied to romaine lettuce, the CDC stated the agency wanted to make sure people were reminded that kale is really gross.

“Kale chips, kale salad, kale juice—it’s all pretty bad,” CDC director Robert R. Redfield told reporters at a special emergency press conference. “There’s not really a health concern at this time, but we just wanted everyone to remember that kale is gross. There are hundreds of decent varieties of cabbage and lettuce out there, so let’s try and avoid the kale whenever possible, mkay?”

Redfield further stated he wasn’t sure why people kept purchasing kale in various forms or adding it to perfectly good food items. “We’ve run all the numbers, looked at reports multiple times. It’s baffling,” he said. “The stuff literally tastes like a clump of dirt.”

“Please, if you love your family, stop buying kale,” he implored.

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It is. My GF likes it though. And the rabbits love it, which is good because it's cheap.

We've grown it. Makes good coleslaw.

Wouldn’t touch the stuff if it weren’t so easy to hide it in a smoothie.

I used to get the fresh vegetables at Panda Express when ordering a meal. I'd ask for a little of the chow mein on the side just so I could have a taste of it.

Now, they've changed to their "Super Greens" that consist of broccoli, kale, and cabbage. I really don't care for the taste of kale when it has been steamed. Now I end up with chow mein with just a little of the vegetables.

Horrible stuff. My French wife recoils at the sight of it.

I've had the pleasure of never having it.

I wish there were lifetime memberships available for the Babylon Bee. I'd bee a patron life member and bee proud to have THAT sticker on my car!

the best way to prepare kale is to use a bit of olive oil - that way it slides off into the garbage easier

Kale isn't food.

I'm more of a meat & taters kinda guy, but I'm comfortable with my kale consumption.

Couple a times a year & I don't mind it.

Cheers~

With the crap stewed out of it, sauté with garlic maybe, or in soup. Some way to get the bitter taste out.

Rutabaga taste like dirt. Kale is bitter.

...and so is asparagus.

Does anyone seriously consume enough of that crap to make any measurable difference in their lifespan? Yes, "it's good for you", but I'd bet the actual increase in longevity by eating something like that several times a week would be a few weeks-months on 80 years, if that.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
...and so is asparagus.

Now, I say wait a cotton picking moment son.

I say looky here son, you just need to try grilling it.

/Foghorn

quote:

Originally posted by MNSIG:
Does anyone seriously consume enough of that crap to make any measurable difference in their lifespan?

It's so nasty it only makes your life seem longer...

Kale for smoothie, but asparagus is totally gross, slimy snake weed. Imho

Hey, if your on Warfarin due to heart surgery and your INR tests a 4.5 a bit of Kale, some parsley, and green pepper in a 3 egg omelet is not only tasty but will drop your INR down to 2.5 in just 12 hours.

BTW my Doctor told me that if my INR had tested just 1/2 point higher he would have called 911. Because 5.0 is the point where spontaneous bleeding starts.

WHAT? Kale is one of my favorite vegetables, and it's so good for us. Just try it done this way:

Soak the whole bunch in water first like almost all veggies then pull it off the stems, only need to cut up the larger leaves.
Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet then add about a teaspoon or more of crushed hot red pepper flakes and just let them sizzle for maybe 1 minute, don't let them burn.
Then add at least a tablespoon of fresh garlic finely diced (I use 2 tablespoons) and let it sizzle for a minute our so but don't let it get browned.
Turn up the heat, add the kale and keep stirring it so it's covered in the hot flavorful oil and begins cooking, maybe for 2 minutes then add 1 tablespoon of water, turn down the heat and cover with a lid to steam cook it for maybe 3-4 minutes then remove the lid to let the water steam off.
Sprinkle a little salt and a 1-2 tablespoons of basalmic vinegar and stir in. If the kale is not quite cooked cover again and steam longer, otherwise just stir it well letting most of the liquid steam off, then enjoy!

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
Kale isn't food.

THIS.

I love most vegetables, very few I don't like. Kale is top of the bad list. And I have tried it, and forced myself to eat it in different configurations when presented to me at dinner parties at friend's homes. But will never buy it at a store or restaurant. Disgusting is the correct term.