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posted September 05, 2019 05:18 PMHide Post


____________________________________________________________
Money may not buy happiness...but it will certainly buy a better brand of misery

A man should acknowledge his losses just as gracefully as he celebrates his victories

Remember, in politics it's not who you know...it's what you know about who you know
 
Posts: 861 | Location: CA | Registered: February 01, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted September 05, 2019 05:54 PMHide Post
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a bulletproof vest. The bullets will realize they are hopelessly outmatched and fall harmlessly to the ground.
 
Posts: 29769 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted September 05, 2019 06:03 PMHide Post
 
Posts: 9541 | Registered: September 26, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Coin Sniper
Picture of Rightwire
posted September 05, 2019 10:46 PMHide Post
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down




Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
 
Posts: 38663 | Location: Above the snow line in Michigan | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Ignored facts
still exist
posted September 05, 2019 11:04 PMHide Post
"There is no finish line. When you reach one goal, find a new one."

-Chuck Norris


.
 
Posts: 11397 | Location: 45 miles from the Pacific Ocean | Registered: February 28, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Unapologetic Old
School Curmudgeon
Picture of Lord Vaalic
posted September 06, 2019 01:38 AMHide Post
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
 
Posts: 10785 | Location: TN | Registered: December 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted September 06, 2019 01:57 AMHide Post
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
 
Posts: 964 | Registered: August 04, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted September 06, 2019 04:29 AMHide Post
The Romans do as Chuck Norris does.
 
Posts: 29769 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
St. Vitus
Dance Instructor
Picture of blueye
posted September 06, 2019 06:52 AMHide Post
The reason they didn't find life on Mars was because Chuck Norris was already there.
 
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posted September 06, 2019 08:14 AMHide Post


Regards, Will G.
 
Posts: 9660 | Location: 140 mi to Margaritaville, FL | Registered: January 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
half-genius,
half-wit
posted September 06, 2019 09:00 AMHide Post
Fire watches Chuck Norris prevention safety movies.
 
Posts: 11579 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Certified Plane Pusher
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posted September 06, 2019 09:36 AMHide Post
Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.



Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you.
 
Posts: 7912 | Location: Around Lake Tapps, Wa | Registered: September 29, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
chickenshit
Picture of rsbolo
posted September 06, 2019 10:39 AMHide Post
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He DECIDES what time it is.


____________________________
Yes, Para does appreciate humor.
 
Posts: 8000 | Location: East Central FL | Registered: January 05, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted September 06, 2019 12:37 PMHide Post
When he was born, Chuck Norris slapped the doctor.


It's a shame that youth is wasted on the young --- Mark Twain

Anyone who is not a liberal by age 20 has no heart; anyone who is not a conservative by age 40 has no brain---Winston Churchill
 
Posts: 4652 | Location: The Free State of Georgia | Registered: August 01, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted September 06, 2019 12:40 PMHide Post
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Chuck Norris's blood type is AK47.
 
Posts: 3718 | Registered: August 13, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of JD83
posted September 06, 2019 06:39 PMHide Post
Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to an arm wrestling match. They agreed that the loser would have to wear his underwear over his pants-for the rest of his life.


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Posts: 352 | Location: Blue Heaven  | Registered: April 16, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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posted September 06, 2019 06:45 PMHide Post




__________________________

 
Posts: 352 | Location: Blue Heaven  | Registered: April 16, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oriental Redneck
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posted September 06, 2019 06:52 PMHide Post
Friday saves Thursday from Chuck's wrath because it ran out of space for Norris jokes.


Q






 
Posts: 29170 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: September 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted October 12, 2019 09:13 AMHide Post
 
Posts: 29769 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
half-genius,
half-wit
posted October 12, 2019 11:30 AMHide Post
Chuck Norris doesn't need automatically-opening store doors - ALL doors open automatically for him.
 
Posts: 11579 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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