It's a tough deal.....I think you need to listen, but if you tell her it pisses you off tread VERY lightly. How about joining some exercise with it, let's take the dog for a walk or take a walk and talk about it while we go for a walk......

I saw a text post a while back that said "There is nothing more boring than other people's dreams."

My wife will go on and on about every detail of the last dream she had or whatnot. She listens to my shit, though, so I listen to hers. I also try to ask questions, and actually engage. but even just being a sounding board is sometimes the best help I can provide her for some stuff.

When I visit with my parents we talk about goiters and treatments. Not literally goiters. I just say that to amuse myself as I listen for hours about failing health both petty and serious. They are elderly so I visit them 3 to 4 times a week. Though I struggle to listen to the repetition, I determined the selfless thing to do is let them vent and gently steer the conversation Socratically. I know the day will come that I'll miss even goiter talk with them. So out of respect and fielty, I listen and steer.

Maybe marriage is different. I don't know. Mrs DF can't discuss by law so....I get nothin'

Link to original video: https://youtu.be/5s4NDYT19YE

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:
Just say "Baby, leave work at work. Home is for love making." Then plant one on her when she starts taking about work.

But, cover your nutsack before you do!

quote:

A long time ago someone at work told me, "Never complain to someone who can't fix the problem. It is just useless negativity and doesn't result in anything getting fixed." That's a rule I've tried to live by.

It's a wonderful idea, and a damn shame it isn't far more popular.

quote:

Originally posted by Georgeair:

quote:

The thing is, she does this every single day. I try to be a good husband. I listen to her, give my opinion/advice sometimes,

That is almost certainly not what she's hoping for...

OK, I'll bite. What is she hoping for?

Hand her a glass of wine or her favorite beverage and tell her "how about we leave work at work tonight and focus on something more enjoyable." Then kiss her like you did before life got complicated. That's the simple Nicholas Sparks answer, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but she needs a distraction from work and you need to give it to her.

If all else fails when she starts in about work just start taking your clothes off and when your down to nothing do jumping jacks. I guarantee she won't be talking about work anymore. Lol

Learn to listen. It is not hard. Marriage is work. Relationships take effort. Perhaps look inside yourself and determine why you are unable to do this.

Maybe give her a gift. Here is something she may like, while turning her attention away from her work woes.

H&K-Guy

there is no nice way to tell her to lighten up a bit on the play by play but...you might consider a small amount of turnabout...

'well, here was my day...I have 65 employees and the only one that isn't certifiably insane was out sick today....'

A few glasses of good wine used to help me and the late misses
On the 21 of this month it will be 20 years
I still miss the chats with her,wine not so much
My advice,listen,love her and be more there for her.
Without her,life might be some hell you don't want!

I don't see this so much as about him but about the wife.

Let's say they have 5 hours to spend together after work including dinner and getting ready for bed. Spending 1 hour or 20% of that precious time every day complaining about something that won't change - is that really how you want to spend your time? You spend 8 hours during the day with it. Then you let it eat at you for another hour after work? While you're with the special person in your life? Every day?

Not healthy and sad. How would you prefer to spend that time if tomorrow never came? Live like it's your last day together.

omg its your wife i have been with my wife 32yrs
just suck it up thats what its all about to have somebody to pich your bitch to. if you dont listen to her someone else will

quote:

I don't see this so much as about him but about the wife.

Who knows. It is his Perception of Reality. That of his spouse will be different.

I womanizer I knew well told me the secret of getting women. You have to listen to them. He may find there is another man quite willing to listen. This is how affairs often begin.

So not only is she wasting precious time on negativity, but she's driving him to avoiding her. Sounds like her behavior is doubly destructive. My point is that she need to change her attitude and just stop complaining. Period. To anyone.

Watch a comedy. Read a book together. Do something constructive. Productive. Bike ride. Walk. Or just relax. Anything would be better than a daily bitch session. Once a month. Biweekly. Even maybe once a week. But daily? With no end in sight?

Honestly, I love my wife but we wouldn't last long if she complained daily. It's a good thing I was the complainer and she taught me a better way to live.

One possible angle is to suggest a new no work talk after 6:00 (or whenever) deal. Make it a mutual thing. Start the suggestion with. "You know, we work hard. We stress a lot. We need to disconnect for a bit and be WITH each other intellectually aside form the work world. "

Good luck with whatever you decide.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:

quote:

I don't see this so much as about him but about the wife.

Who knows. It is his Perception of Reality. That of his spouse will be different.

I womanizer I knew well told me the secret of getting women. You have to listen to them. He may find there is another man quite willing to listen. This is how affairs often begin.

Inconsiderate partners who selfishly and pointlessly yammer on incessantly are no doubt the catalyst for just as many.

A few minutes here and there is normal and reasonable, but a half hour a day or some such, on what Bobby said to Sandy by the water cooler or the eleventy gozillionth my boss sucks story, is well beyond that, and while certainly not the worst thing in the world, still a bunch of intolerance nonsense in a great many cases. Being considerate goes both ways.

If she has a long commute home from work, that might be a good time to talk on the phone. My last job had a 30-40 minute commute. I did all the calls and conversations about work during that time. Once I was home, I only dealt with work emergencies, otherwise, I didn't talk about it. It was good for my marriage.

quote:

Originally posted by mikeyspizza:

quote:

Originally posted by Georgeair:

quote:

The thing is, she does this every single day. I try to be a good husband. I listen to her, give my opinion/advice sometimes,

That is almost certainly not what she's hoping for...

OK, I'll bite. What is she hoping for?

Not opinion and advice. Just the listening part. I think most other experienced folks here already pointed out the same, so not sure if serious?

If OP can get some reduction in volume/frequency in a discussion with her that's great, but it won't go well IMHO if that's how his response starts, or if he's doing it in the midst of his solving all her problems. I'd recommend he just listen and shut up for a week or two and notice whether it's less once he doesn't extend the pain by turning it into the problem solving conference. See the forehead nail above from the monkey. If that doesn't help, then try something else.