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Member |
My ex did this same thing every day. It wasn't a conversation. She didn't want answers or solutions or any of that. You might say she just wanted someone to listen...but to me, it was her verbally vomiting every bit of negativity she was holding. That's a lot of shit to unload every day, and a lot of shit for you to absorb every day. I'm willing to bet she doesn't do the same for you, does she? not that I wanted to, but mine didn't. This isn't communication. This isn't healthy relationship communication. It's you doing an extra half or hour of work every day, unpaid and accepting someone else's garbage. But she doesn't understand that. My advice - go to a counselor. Learn to communicate better as a couple and learn ways to deal with non-relationship issues without wearing down your partner. | |||
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| Member |
The only behavior you can control is yours. It is a useless endeavor to try and control your spouse. Simple but true. Prison guards can tell you this. | |||
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Member |
Completely agree. But you can lead by example, lead by suggestion, and other tactics to influence behavior. If a woman can make you "want to be a better man" then we should be able to influence them as well. One would hope, anyway.  Again, take the husband out of the picture. I just don't think it's healthy to daily spend 20% of your time outside of work complaining about work. Live your life; don't let work live it for you. But first she has to admit that it's undesirable and unproductive and nonconstructive behavior. "Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy "A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book | |||
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| Member |
Yeah she is probably clinically depressed. Psychotherapy would probably help her lead a more productive life. | |||
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| Member |
She needs to unwind somewhere to someone, do you want to be the guy or do you want somebody else to be that guy? My wife did not do it that much, she turned down the supervisor promotion and stayed as an upper level accountant. She did bring some things home, but when we had 4 kids at home, it was about the kids, after the kids were gone, I taught nights part-time and I talked more about work than she did. Be there for her even if you are just daydreaming. NRA Life Endowment member Tri-State Gun collectors Life Member | |||
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| Member |
Me personally? If she's going to complain daily for the next, say, 20 years, she can complain to someone else. If it's that persistent, the attitude may bleed into ither aspects of life. Life is too short to complain an hour a day. Let it go or let me go. "Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy "A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book | |||
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| Idiot by birth, Asshole by choice |
I get what you're saying... And no, you're not a bad husband, we all have our limits. Now, imagine if you and your wife worked for the Same company... You for 4 years, and She for two years, and she was suddenly promoted over you... You being passed over. Now imagine that four years later, she is suddenly made Your boss, and you can't get away from work, or her... Every night, she comes home complaining about, or just even talking about, work... Work... Work... I've now been with this company for 14 years, with my wife as My manager for 6 of those years.... I'm about to leave my wife.... Does that make me a bad husband.... No... It makes me a man at the end of his rope, who has exhausted all his options. Be thanful your wife works for a different company, than you do  | |||
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Thanks for letting me vent. Member |
I'll agree with this. Sometimes, we can only take so much from someone, even if that someone is a spouse. God bless America. | |||
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Dirty Boat Guy |
I was always taught to leave work issues at work and troubles at home at home. I get that sometimes (SOMETIMES) we need to vent and be reassured by our loved ones. However, I am of the opinion that if someone is ranting every damned night about work then they shouldn't be working there, especially as a supervisor. A penny saved is a government oversight. | |||
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Member |
Yes, question was serious. Didn't know if you had a different perspective, etc. | |||
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Giftedly Outspoken |
No offense but I think you aren't being fair to your wife. You two are in a partnership. You are suppose to be there for her, and she is suppose to be there for you. She is clearly venting her frustrations to you. Sit back, shut up and listen. Don't take it personally. Women often just want someone to listen to them. My wife is in nursing management and often vents on me. I could care less about what is going on at her work but I sit and listen, occasionally asking a question or agreeing with her frustrations. Let me tell you, that while I could give 2 shits about it, I know she appreciates me listening to her. Now I'm not saying sit and listen for 6 hours, but a half hour a day of your time for the woman you love to vent, well to me that's a small thing to give if it helps her. Lastly if you truly can't handle it then maybe suggest to her that she see a counselor. Since you are both in the corporate world does her company offer any type of free counseling? Sometimes, you gotta roll the hard six | |||
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