I think she already has an inkling. You have been thinking about breaking up for a while. Most men are not very subtle.

Git'er done, now is the perfect time . The sooner ,the better. Pretty soon she is going to want you to "spend the night" (wink). This whole health shitfest is the answer to everyone's break up prayer's . Best wishes.

Tell her the truth. Women tell men every day "I just want to be friends" so it's a two way street. Tell her the truth, tell her you'll be there for her in support and friendship, and move on. I loathe cheaters (never have cheated on anyone in my life) so she should appreciate the fact you haven't done anything and wish to do the right thing. Breaking up is hard, always, on the party that wants to stay in the relationship.

Send her an email saying you got Wuhan and died.

She'll get the hint.

j/k

Additional thought...

The other logistical issue is that we are supposed to be 'staying in home'. Both she and I are in categories considered 'at risk' so we've been locked in our separate isolation booths.

After being together this long I don't think I'd want to do it over the phone.

Shitty situation. For what it's worth, I really appreciate having you guys to discuss this with.

Women bounce back from these types of things faster than us. I wouldn't worry about her.

If you know she's not the one just tell her.

I got stuck in that situation a couple of years ago. I knew it was over, she didn't, I was being distant to find "the right time", but she pressed the topic over text on Thanksgiving when we were at our respective family gatherings. So I just laid it out over a few text messages. I felt like an ass for doing it that way, but no way was I letting that stew and no way was I getting on the phone.

The main points were
-This isn't your fault, you did nothing wrong
-That spark or fire in my gut wasn't there, that's on me
-Being distant and holding onto this wasn't fair, and I apologized

She was hurt. She got over it. I stayed somewhat in touch until she caught TDS and went full left.

Rip that bandaid off. I don't think there is any tap dancing around something like this. Normally I would say do it face to face but present situation requires and probably allows over the phone. Not an envious position to be in obviously but one that you'll feel ok about if you handle it properly. I would want my significant other to be honest. I also think that when this virus is over you will want a fresh start and be able to enjoy the optimism as opposed to having to go through the pain of breaking up then.

just remember the movie "fatal attraction".

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Additional thought...

The other logistical issue is that we are supposed to be 'staying in home'. Both she and I are in categories considered 'at risk' so we've been locked in our separate isolation booths.

After being together this long I don't think I'd want to do it over the phone.

Shitty situation. For what it's worth, I really appreciate having you guys to discuss this with.

Facetime

Messenger Video

Whatsapp video

or any other similar platform.

It's not ideal, but these are strange times.

Clean break is recommended, immediately.

Over the phone / video isn't ideal, but neither is letting it drag out for longer than it has to.

If you are both at risk, there is no reason to risk a face to face.

quote:

Originally posted by Flashlightboy:
Get RHINO to do it for you. He has a certain way with words.

Yeah, it's easy.

"Sorry baby, but it's over. I've enjoyed our time together but don't see it going any further."

Wash, rinse, repeat as often as needed. It can take some of them awhile to understand that you mean it.

It’s tough dealin’ with good people. Best your way!
[FLASH_VIDEO]


Link to original video: https://youtu.be/F3r24WmN5xA [/FLASH_VIDEO]

My sincere opinion is this.

I understand that you care for her. It sounds like you love her but are not in love with her. At this point it seems to me, and I don't mean this in a judgemental way, that not telling her how you feel and continuing the relationship would be just using her. Covid sucks, but it looks like it's gonna be around for a while, meaning it's not like you'd be putting it off for a week. Make the break soon for both of you.

normally I'd be for the 'rip off the bandaid' approach -- quick and done

but as you mention -- in the middle of this unprecedented situation IMO there's little harm in delaying 45 days or so

just try to make the best of it and save the unpleasant breakup for when 'sunny skies' are more possible

--------------------------

quote:

Originally posted by Scurvy:
Women bounce back from these types of things faster than us. I wouldn't worry about her.

If you know she's not the one just tell her.

I know a marine who is a fishing guide in the Florida Keys, trips for veterans are free. When he moved from Idaho, his Canadian girlfriend committed suicide.

Who is hotter?

The sooner the better in the this case. She will need to focus on herself anyway.

quote:

Originally posted by pbslinger:

quote:

Originally posted by Scurvy:
Women bounce back from these types of things faster than us. I wouldn't worry about her.

If you know she's not the one just tell her.

I know a marine who is a fishing guide in the Florida Keys, trips for veterans are free. When he moved from Idaho, his Canadian girlfriend committed suicide.

The possiblity is not that remote, in OP's case, considering his present GF being "madly in love" with him. But, a man's got to do what a man's got to do. Not advising anything. Just observing.

quote:

Originally posted by pbslinger:
I know a marine who is a fishing guide in the Florida Keys, trips for veterans are free. When he moved from Idaho, his Canadian girlfriend committed suicide.

Yeah, staying with someone because they might commit suicide is moronic.

She would have likely offed herself for some other reason eventually, or her insanity was the reason he left her.

I know a guy who's long time girlfriend of 18 months left him when he was at deaths door from a horrible stomach / pancreas infection that had him split wide open for weeks and recovering for over a year. They flew him back from deployment (emergency because he almost died) and about a month into it she broke up with him.

Shit happens. It's called life.

If you string girl #1 along and tell girl #2 to bide her time then you'll lose respect from #2.

"I know a guy" thread addition. I know a guy who's GF threatened to kill herself if they didn't marry. He married her. Had to sell his house he loved, give up most of his hobbies, and move way out to live with her and her 2 kids (that he had no interest in raising).

We all know guys and stories. Ronin is dealing with life and trying to do what's right in his situation. He has my confidence that he will do what is right in his situation, whatever that outcome is.