I think I have probably been to this family disturbance. Strong emotions can be triggered by milestone events. I agree with asking the boys, then ask them to tell their Mom they are OK with it. It all depends upon the maturity and amicability of the people involved.

Personally, 2 years into a relationship with someone I would bring her. You can ask the kids if you want but in my experience with similar situations they probably won't mind.

As far as awkwardness with the ex, it's going to happen at some point. Also, you don't need to sit near her.

If she wants to go with you then take her with you and hope for the best. The decision is between the two of you. Hope you have a happy life together.

In my time I had talked to my son about it and he was ok with it. She went as a girlfriend to his middle school graduation and as my wife to high school graduation. My ex was ok with it. Communication was key so no one was surprised.

- Update -

Thanks to all for your comments and input; I read them all.

I am always interested to read examples of different parenting styles, I think many of us parent very similarly. Some of you take a more hardlined view at raising your kids; I respect that. My upbringing was far from 'good', so I made the decision that I would raise mine differently.

Whenever possible I attempt to make them part of the decision making process; even going so far as letting them attempt to negotiate themselves out of a chore or punishment. Sometimes I let them win, sometimes we compromise, and sometimes I say "tough shit". Bottom line though, they know to try.

Guys....they are SUCH good young men, I'm happier and prouder than words can convey.

In this case I am going to invite a couple of close friends and my sister and her husband to go with me. Bringing my girlfriend then is much less awkward for everyone, especially for me if we run into the ex and her pain-in-the-ass family.

Thank you again everyone, I'll report back in a couple of weeks after the ceremony.

Good for you. Good luck

Enjoy their day. It’s so nice these boys have so much family that love them and want to help them celebrate their newfound (and earned) freedom! Adulthood, here they come! Congrats.

Sounds like a good decision and hope you all have a wonderful day. Do get back to us with a report on how it went.

sounds like it will be a great event! Congats !

as has been mentioned these events can be stressful

ex's can trigger significant 'anger' even YEARS / decades after the relationships fail. i've seen it first-hand.

Congrats again I wish y'all the best

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