Getting married in a month. I want to get a prenup written up that says any inheritance received by either party is solely theirs unless used to buy marital assets. How easy and legal is this to do? Can I add things in like after 5 years spouse is entitled to x percentage, after 10 years y percentage, etc.?

Also, not mentioned this to the fiancée at all. I am guessing most times this ends up in A) hurt feelings or B) a fight. She's pretty damn reasonable and knows I've been fucked by every ex I have ever had.

Find a lawyer who specializes in this and DO IT.

I wouldn't add a percentage clause either.

Do it.

No need for a percentage clause, you can always be generous later. I’d also add in clauses agreeing to equal custody and shared parenting of any kids along with no spousal support.

Not an attorney, but my wife and I executed one at her request.
We were both rational adults and we both recognized that it’s impossible to predict the future. Had the situation been reversed and she had objected, that would have been an obvious warning that I should have seriously evaluated my decision to spend the rest of my life with someone like that.

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Originally posted by Skins2881:She's pretty damn reasonable and knows I've been fucked by every ex I have ever had.

You've been divorced multiple times and want to try again? Hmmmmmm

Laws vary by jurisdiction.

In my jurisdiction, you can't spring a prenup on someone. You'll want them to actually retain separate counsel and have them review it, even if you have to pay for it, to get the strongest protection.

Also, check the laws regarding inheritances in your jurisdiction. In my jurisdiction, inheritances are separate property. No point in bringing up a prenup if the default rules are already in your favor.

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Originally posted by absolut18:
Do it.

No need for a percentage clause, you can always be generous later. I’d also add in clauses agreeing to equal custody and shared parenting of any kids along with no spousal support.

Why? What if she is batshit crazy down the road and you wouldn't want her to have custody at all? What if you end up with custody and now she doesn't want to contribute to child support? What if you end up being the stay at home dad, putting your career aside while she advances hers, and now you need support to get back to a job that can support you and kids?

Are there certain states / jurisdictions where Prenups are considered strongest / most likely to hold? And if so, I take it someone has to live in said jurisdiction for that to matter, or?

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Originally posted by MNSIG:

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Originally posted by Skins2881:She's pretty damn reasonable and knows I've been fucked by every ex I have ever had.

You've been divorced multiple times and want to try again? Hmmmmmm

Divorced only once, married college sweetheart. She tried to fuck me, but failed because her lawyer sucked. She ended up with one of my classic cars (not worth that much) and nothing else. The car was only to spite me because she couldn't get any $$$.

Ex-girlfriend #1got a free place to stay, free food and entertainment for a few years. Nothing serious, bailed her out a couple times <$500.

Ex-girlfriend #2 same deal as above but higher dollar amounts. Took care of her/kid for years and bailed her out a couple times <$2000. And one biggie of $10k.

Future wife never asked for one penny. I do buy 90% of food and pay larger amount of living expenses, but it's my house. She splits all other expenses - animal care, trips, home improvements, etc. She's got more in savings than me and has her head screwed on right.

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Originally posted by Aeteocles:
In my jurisdiction, you can't spring a prenup on someone. You'll want them to actually retain separate counsel and have them review it, even if you have to pay for it, to get the strongest protection.

Not a lawyer but I'm familiar with someone in litigation over a pre-nup right now. The issue in this case is that one party either intentionally or unintentionally mis-stated or failed to report the value on some of their assets in their disclosures up front.

The other party is using that fact to have the pre-nup invalidated, stating that they agreed to it based on bad information. The party with the assets is very likely about to lose a significant part of their assets. So, be sure that the other party is represented and that you fully disclose everything if you do it.

Not a lawyer either, but I am on the other side of the equation.

I took the initiative to get the pre-nup prior to moving in. I wanted to be clear it wasn’t about the money. If someone can’t put that in writing, I’d be concerned.

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Originally posted by Aeteocles:
Laws vary by jurisdiction.

In my jurisdiction, you can't spring a prenup on someone. You'll want them to actually retain separate counsel and have them review it, even if you have to pay for it, to get the strongest protection.

Also, check the laws regarding inheritances in your jurisdiction. In my jurisdiction, inheritances are separate property. No point in bringing up a prenup if the default rules are already in your favor.

Just did a Google Search. Apparently VA is a state where inheritances are separate property. Even if I/we use a portion to buy a house there are calculations to split out non-marital and marital assets.

Can any VA lawyers or those with experience confirm I read that correctly? It may not matter in bit if I read correctly.

20 years, same woman, not married.

Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

IANAL, but if you don't have the prenup done and signed more than one month before your wedding date, then it won't hold up in court because it will be considered a last minute ultimatum and the other party didn't have a fair shake at reviewing it.

You won’t be getting married in a month if you ask for a prenup.

Less than a month from the wedding and now you bring this up?

Unless you got engaged last week I hope that you are of the frame of mind that she may be a little pissed/hurt.

Seems to me this is the type of conversation you have over time, not while she is doing dress-fittings and has already told her girlfriends, "no" when they inquired as to whether or not you had asked for one.

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Also, not mentioned this to the fiancée at all.

Getting prenups and not mentioning at all to fiancee? Man, this is a disaster, my friend.

Poor judgement waiting to bring this up a month before getting married unless you just received an unexpected windfall.

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Originally posted by Skins2881:

Also, not mentioned this to the fiancée at all.

You should have done it shortly after you got engaged. At this point, you're risking she will feel cornered between signing a prenup that you didn't give her a heads up on or not getting married to you.

Bring up the subject now so that you guys can talk about it. Everybody hates having something being sprung on them and feeling like they don't have any say so.

I don't know how she feels about it but you best know soon enough.