quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:

Okay I just had a look to be sure, but mine doesn’t look very flammable……jus sayin

quote:

Originally posted by elmer:
We have been trying to contact you regarding your extended penis warranty

Sorry, that warranty is now void.

In penis-related news...

https://x.com/TeaPartyOGs/status/2077386456469733809

What a dickhead

I saw this mentioned a few times, but how didn't he bleed to death? No tourniquet, or in this (former) guy's case - a teeny weeny Snakestaff (it's a real brand, www.snakestaffsystems.com ) should be able to stop that bleed.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
In penis-related news...

https://x.com/TeaPartyOGs/status/2077386456469733809

Damn, I miss Africa!

It turns out that Reuters news item is from 2008. I should have known that it wasn't recent, because none of these news agencies have the courage these days to illustrate the utter stupidity of the general population of these African countries.

Amusing story, though.

https://www.reuters.com/articl...pital-idUSL22903232/

April 22, 2008 1:24 PM EDT Updated April 25, 2008

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
In penis-related news...

When you invite your friends over for a big weenie roast and you find yourself running short on weenies, and the store is out of stock, well....



.

Having just graduated from his online circumcision course earlier that day, and his first attempt having gone horribly wrong, Peden became distraught and said to mohel with it.



.

I've seen this thread for a week now. I held off on opening it until I felt I needed a good laugh. You guys delivered as usual.

Pros and cons? Maybe its better if your penis is on fire that it be detached? Maybe if your crazed mind says: "light my penis" cutting it off first is the only sane part of it?