My invisible friends I’m hoping you can bestow some of your wisdom upon me. I decided to coach my daughter’s soccer team this year. So far I have had waaaaaaaaay more fun than I was expecting. These girls are 8-9 years old so most of my focus has been on building upon the basics. Especially playing positions and passing.

At this age group winning is of course important and motivating but making it a singular focus is in my opinion wrong. Our league made it abundantly clear to the coaches that winning games is not our primary focus. We’re out there to have fun, enjoy the beautiful sport of soccer and hopefully make new friends along the way. If we win that’s cool too. No I’m not saying everyone is a winner and gets a trophy so don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.

At practice yesterday one of the parents on my team informed me the team we will be playing in two weeks beat the last team it played 12-0. They apparently have two players who are dang hard to stop from burning the midfield and defense and then scoring. My team isn’t terrible but it’s been difficult to get them to play positions and avoid herding up and chasing after the ball.

Our teams defense is actually pretty stout. Despite losing momentum in our last game those girls managed to fight back to a draw.

I’m not automatically assuming that we will get destroyed but I do want to prepare the team for a very difficult game on the horizon as much as I can.

Sigforum members who have coached during a blowout game, what advice can you offer? I’m gonna be fine but I’m a little concerned about how the parents and team react to a possible blow out.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: stickman428,

"Great moments are born from great opportunity, and that's what you have here tonight, boys girls. That's what you've earned here tonight.

One game; if we played them ten times, they might win nine. But not this game, not tonight. Tonight, we skate run with them. Tonight we stay with them, and we shut them down because we can. Tonight, we are the greatest hockey soccer team in the world.

You were born to be hockey soccer players—every one of you, and you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey soccer team the Soviets those guys have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it!"

-Herb Brooks AKA Stickman

The girls need to learn from defeat as much as from victory. It's an opportunity to discuss discipline and playing the position correctly.

Mark those players, and Deny them the Ball for the ENTIRE Game! Make sure your players 'Run to the Ball' on all passes, and 'Step in Front' of opposing players on every contested ball.

Adapt your team's game strategy to force the other team to change their game....A low scoring game, even if a defeat will be a victory for your girls!

Not so much how to deal with a potential blowout, but in this situation what have done (and what I do) is I assign an individual to stick like glue to the "ringer" or "ringers" with their sole goal to prevent the ringer from getting the (puck) ball. Just constantly agitate and get in their face for The.Entire.Game.

Employing this strategy in the past has resulted in my teams winning games against the odds as the ringer is effectively neutralized. Of course, employing this stragegy with 8-9 year-olds may be a challenge!

Again, this is not a strategy to cope with a huge loss, but hopefully a way to neutralize ringers, and then you'll have a "fair" game.

First I would like to commend yo for taking the time and responsibility to coach.

I don't recommend letting the players know that they may be up against Goliath (we don't know if the team they beat 12-0 is any good?) Then they may have it in their heads that they are going to lose regardless.

Since you know the primary strength of the other team you can practice to neutralize it.

During the game if your getting trounced and can identify why (two great opposing players, etc.) start using the game as a practice/teaching moment.

That way you can take the focus off of the scoreboard and make it about improving on the field during the game. Basically making the "win" about learning and gaining experience.

After the game there will be positives to talk about. "hey, you really got that play down, etc."

Just my thoughts. Good luck to you and your team. Hope you let us know how it goes.

Treat it like any other game. The process either works or it doesn't. I personally would have a speech in the can about 'rising from the ashes' if it does become a catastrophe.

Continue enjoying yourself. Stay upbeat and maintain your focus on fundamentals and solid position play.

The kids will take their cue from you. The other team may have two fantastic players and there is no shame in acknowledging their prowess.

"Those two girls are very fast! You girls are doing great staying in position on defense, keep it up!"

So long as you remain positive, I feel your players will as well. Everything should be a learning experience so they can become better. As they get better as a team they learn that better TEAMS of average players can beat a team with a few stars.

One big win doesn't mean your team is destined to lose. For all you know the team that lost was way worse then yours.

When coaching, emphasize the marking of those two is paramount, regardless of where the ball may be. Assign three defenders so they always have a spare player if one gets drawn out of position. Sometimes a zone defense is the best, in this case, man for man (or girl) is the way to go.


I coached an adult semi-pro team for several years after hanging up my own boots, and a couple of young teams. It's a challenge for sure.

Sweep the leg.


Or just do the best you can, no one can expect more from you, and ask your players to do that. If they have done that, that's all they can do.

Suck it up.

For background I've been coaching hockey for 20 years from youth through High School and Collegiate.

In your coaching career you'll be on both sides of a blow out. With young kids it isn't as big of a deal as most people think. I'll site an example.

First year coaching the little guys (same age range). Big game as the outcome would determine who we play in the playoffs. Kids were playing hard, game was intense or as intense as it can be for that age. In the last 5 minutes, game tied, back and forth play, one of the kids starts pulling on the head coaches jacket. When there was a pause he finally said "Yes, what is it?????????" The kid asked "do you think they'll have juice boxes and cookies after the game?". That sort of brought the bench (adults) to a stop. In one sentence that kid put the entire game, from his view point, in perspective.

The kids aren't going to be wrapped up in this for long win or lose. A wise note to the parents, especially at this age. The kids don't really care that much, nor should they. That is for later.

So what do you do on the field? IMHO you already know who their key players are, and where they like to take advantage. Do the best you can to shore that up, and perhaps you can also use it as a tool to teach a little discipline to the players. The know your job/do your job thing. The impact of doing this right or wrong will be immediately evident.

This is one game in hundreds that you'll coach, they'll play.... and the parents will be upset about for some reason

No big speeches, no special thoughts about life. They won’t make any bigger deal out of a blowout in rec soccer than the adults around them. In fact, I bet you most can’t tell you if they won or lost after the game, much less the final score. Bring a cooler full of popsicles to hand out after the game and tell the kids you will see them at practice.

A few years back I was coaching for my son's soccer team. They were 6-7 year old's and the league was more intermural then anything else. Every week when the kids showed up for the games they would be assigned a field and teams would be split. The "coaches" would help pick the teams and also act as a referee.

Anyways it became painfully obvious the one week that the teams were not balanced out. Once the one team fell quickly behind the whining started from the kids and wanting to change teams. I didn't even have a chance to rebalance the teams before the kids started their act. At that point in time they made the decision for me and the teams remained the same for the remainder of the game. I spoke with the team on the losing end and explained to them the importance of still putting in the work and keeping their heads up. Through the lesson the kids learned to keep pushing and persevere. They ended up being able to score a couple of goals, but they learned a lesson in that your not always going to win or tie while in life.

I was somewhat expecting to receive a lashing from one of the parents of the head of the league, but shockingly I believe they all understood and agreed with my decision.

Thanks for coaching, that is a hard gig.

Thanks to folks who choose to be referees that is an even more thankless job!


Put your best athletes on their studs and try and slow em down and get them frustrated.

If that doesnt work send in your version of the Hanson bros / Danny Ainge to help turn the tide in your favor. wink!

If they can’t win the game they can win the fight. But I’m a hockey dad so not sure it’s the best advice for you. Another option is have someone bring the other team donuts before the game. A parent brought donuts to my kids hockey playoff and they got clobbered. They were out of energy after a few minutes of skating.

I have coached youth baseball for the last 5 years.
Ages 6-16
We were getting blow out about 2 weeks ago. Down by 12 in the second inning.
My son walked a batter who promptly stole second ONE THE WALK, not the next pitch. He did it because the first base coach told him to.
I called time and went to the mound to ask my son if he still wanted to pitch, he seemed tired, he said yes.
I left the mound and went to the 3rd baseline and called their coach from the dugout and asked him if this is really what he wanted to do.
This is a rec league. I have 2 special needs kids at short and second because they don't get to play much infield. My3rd string pitchers are throwing, like this was bad.
He toned it down, but I don't think without a bit of a public display much would have changed.

I would certainly coach your kids to double team or triple team the stars and pray for the rest of them. If you lose you lose but your team and parents should know that you had their back.

keep things positive. one thing invariably happens is the really good teams crush you when you make a mistake. the kind of stuff you can 'get away with' against average competition ... the best teams crush you as a result of. so don't let your players start running down the athletes that make the mistakes.

focus on what you're doing well.

learning how to shake off a defeat is an important aspect of competition.

and if you DO get beat badly -- don't dwell on it during your next training sessions. learn from it - sure. but don't dwell on it.

one of my kids played college soccer D1. mid-major conference. they played a top 10 ACC school and got beat like 6-0. it wasn't pretty but it was fun to see top talent in action. they were pretty much bigger and faster at every position. take it for what it is.

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I played a boys baseball team (12 under) that was handpicked players from around the state. They slaughtered everyone they played. When we played them, they put up 8 runs on us in the 1st and another 7 in the 2nd. Between innings, I walked over and chatted with the other coach to ask him for a little break on running up the score given how mismatched the teams were. He inserted one of his outfielders to pitch from that point forward and we managed a couple runs before the game was called at the end of the 5th due to the run differential. I thanks the other coach, and we've been friends ever since.

My guys took a beating and we used it as a motivational tool to get better. However, had the other coach continued down the path of absolutely destroying my team, I'd have pulled the boys off the field in the 3rd or 4th and simply given him the win. Nothing is gained through demoralizing the kids. A major ass whipping on the other hand can motivate them the work a lot harder.

I coached and played soccer for 40 plus years. Division 1 and semi pro.

These are young kids, so keep the speeches short and to the point.

You have some good advise above for sure.

As for strategy you can man mark their best players. Also you can add a defender to bolster the defense. You do this by going with only one striker. I'm not sure what formation you run.

At the end of the day at your level it seems like you're there to develop the kids so it really does not matter if you win or loose...Tell them to have fun and play hard.

The parents are usually the problem, not the kids!