Fishing is as old as time. Hooks made of bone have been found that are thousands of years old. Fishing has been done the same way for all of that time.

Get a hook. Put bait on it. Put it in the water. When a fish bites, pull the line to set the hook. Reel it in. And then the fish is yours.

The same is true of a Gold-Digger. Women have always been an effective hook. They can use their wiles as bait, show interest in a man, and then withdraw it to set the hook. They can use this to reel in a man’s heart, and then the “fish” is theirs. It’s a story as old as time.

Very few women are actually Gold-Diggers. It takes a certain frame of mind to be successful at it. And yet I’ve found a woman that has that frame of mind.

My wealthy 73 year old Step Father has found a 58 year old woman who has already dangled herself as bait. She asked him out on a date, then withdrew her bait stating that she just wants to be friends, setting the hook. Now she is reeling him in to her life story with all the delicacy of an Abu Garcia. Of course she keeps the bait dangling, so as not to get him distracted by his friends who would warn him of the danger. Eventually the fish will be distanced from other fish (me) that would steer him away from her.

They have been “talking” with each other on the phone for less than a month, and today he is taking her car shopping. Hmmmm.

Men are such idiots.

What should I do?

H&K-Guy

You can have a discussion with him, but that about all you can do. If he won't listen, and I bet he won't, let him carry on. He's not not a child. He didn't get to be wealthy at 73 by being stupid. Maybe he's playing her?

Have a talk with him. Tell him what you think.
There's not much more you can do.

Not much. Maybe gift him some film noir movies with destructive femme fatales. Tough guys like Robert Mitchum get manipulated all over the place by these gals.

quote:

There's not much more you can do.

Well, there is one thing. Find him a younger and hotter woman.

^^^

True, if he's gonna do it he might as well swing for the fences.

One thing I would add:
Start spending more time with him. That's the best thing you can do.

quote:

Originally posted by chellim1:
There's not much more you can do.

Help him spend his money before she can get to it?

quote:

Find him a younger and hotter woman.

If he's entertaining the purchase of a car for this women, then he's in a category where he could form a nice line of 20 somethings seeking that same attention.

quote:

Originally posted by H&K-Guy:
They have been “talking” with each other on the phone for less than a month, and today he is taking her car shopping. Hmmmm.

The fact she's letting him buy her a car at this stage in their relationship is a pretty big red flag, and since...

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
He's not not a child. He didn't get to be wealthy at 73 by being stupid. Maybe he's playing her?

This ^^^^^ Or he knows she's playing him and simply doesn't give a damn.

Leonard: Howard, can't you see she's using you?
Howard: Who cares? Last night she pulled off her blouse and I wept!
Penny: Look, Howard, I know her, okay, she'll have sex with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Howard: Really?
Penny: Yeah.
Howard: Yay! If you'll excuse me, I have some Bar-Mitzvah bonds to cash.

(From an episode of The Big Bang Theory for those who've been living under a rock .)

He likes the attention. It's worth the price of admission. If he really wants to know what she thinks of him, take the money out of it. See what she does.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
He's not not a child. He didn't get to be wealthy at 73 by being stupid. Maybe he's playing her?

This ^^^^^ Or he knows she's playing him and simply doesn't give a damn.

Speaking from my family experience, there is one more factor...

Poor decision making is one of the first signs of dementia. There's a sweet spot for scammers who set the hook right as dementia sets in. They take control, while the victim still "appears" to be in control.

Sadly, he doesn't know what he's getting into. He is opening his heart to her, which can only lead to it being broken.

They are not sleeping together, as they are "just friends." Yet his heart is already gone.

As Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?"

I'm sad for him.

H&K-Guy

quote:

Originally posted by architect:

quote:

There's not much more you can do.

Well, there is one thing. Find him a younger and hotter woman.

An even better one. Take a trip with him to Panama or the DR and show him he can go to a bordello and pick any 21 year old he wants for $100 or so for the night and then the next night another one.........and then you fly home!!!!

If your step father has become very wealthy, he most likely can make financial decisions on his own as far as finances go. Some guys that age, pick a woman (gold digger or such) and just pay for it and figure it as an agreed upon expense for companionship or etc.

quote:

Originally posted by H&K-Guy:
Sadly, he doesn't know what he's getting into. He is opening his heart to her, which can only lead to it being broken.

They are not sleeping together, as they are "just friends." Yet his heart is already gone.

As Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?"

I'm sad for him.

H&K-Guy

Have you talked with him? If so, what was his response?

My suggestion is to get someone younger out there to chum the water.

If he's going to get screwed out of his money, he can do better than 58.

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:
My suggestion is to get someone younger out there to chum the water.

If he's going to get screwed out of his money, he can do better than 58.

Actually, she is the perfect age to get him to think he is not really that old, after all. He's told me recently, "I'm pretty active for 73." He has himself fooled.

The goal of the Gold-Digger is to involve the man's heart. That is how a fish desires bait.

The worst (and best?) lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves.

H&K-Guy

Is he going car shopping with her or is he buying her a car? Those are two very different things.

I have gone car shopping with a female friend/coworker in the past to help her with the negotiation process, but I sure as shit didn’t write the check.


Is he mentally fit? If so it is his money to burn and his lesson to learn. You can’t protect some people from their own bad decisions.

Is he happy with this relationship? How is your relationship with him? If you tank a relationship he is happy with it could have ramifications on his relationship with you.

Do you have or does he believe you have a fiduciary interest? If so, you may not really be in position to be involved as it could be argued you have a conflict of interest.


Don’t have an answer, but definitely a tough position to be in and I can understand the frustration and concern.

At the very least, I'd be running a background check on her, and make decisions from there. Many of this 'ilk' have a history, and it's NOT their first rodeo! I'd suggest being VERY interested in your Dad's affairs, and his 'relationship' with this woman. Lots and lots of questions, especially about how they met...

My father (now deceased) was defrauded out of over $725,000 during a period of 6 years!
He was targeted as a result of the posting of my Mom's obituary in the newspaper/public records in 2010. The first contact was when the 'gold digger' showed up at his door selling long-term care insurance. She got his medical records/history and after he was denied insurance, she then pursued selling him annuities. She was able to get all of his financial info and ultimately convinced him to move ALL of his Retirement Assets to those annuities.

I believe she started her story of woe & need shortly after she got the financial info. She planted her hooks and played on my Father's good nature! Ultimately, on the hope of a long term 'relationship' that he desperately wanted/dreamed of w/ her, it led to him supporting a VERY Extravagant lifestyle for this BITCH and her spawn! The evidence of her scheme was irrefutable, while we were able to get him to shut her off for a short time, it resumed after she further played on his emotions.

Unfortunately, he was VERY Stubborn, and though it was clear he was targeted for this all too common form of elder abuse he refused to press charges while he was alive. Additionally, though the 'gold digger' was known to the courts and had a history, the Police/Prosecutors office were unwilling to pursue it when I contacted them on behalf of his estate.

The BIG problem, is that as long as your Father is of sound mind, he can make all the bad decisions he desires, as it's his money! Short of having him declared incompetent (we were not willing to go there), you can only do your very best to look out for his interests and stay VERY close! In my Dad's case, there were lots of questionable 'explanations' of her history, and their relationship, but by the time we figured it out she had already gotten over $600,000 from him. Even with absolute evidence and the passionate urging/desperate pleas from myself (and my two brothers that lived locally to him in NJ), we were unable to convince him to change course and she was able to get another $125,000 before health circumstances put a Durable POA in place and I was able to shut it down!

I urge you to look out for your Father's Interests, and be extra vigilant if there are ANY signs/clues that just don't seem right.

NO one should have to tell the story I'm unfortunately still living with today!

Trust, but Verify! Good Luck.

911 Boss,

He says he's going car shopping "with" her, you know, to help her in her decision making. But this girl needs no assistance in such matters. She is quite intelligent and is probably smarter than my Step Father and me combined.

Worse, he is discussing leasing and/or buying a new car when she is not even off her old lease.

I'm sure he doesn't think he is being played, and that his decisions are his to make. But anyone with a little experience and knowledge about how some women work should see it is only a matter of time before his heart tell's him to go from shopping "with," to shopping "for."

H&K-Guy Axiom #34: Men are idiots around women.

H&K-Guy