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| Member |
My grandmother was Irish and had a really bad temper if you set her off. When I was a little kid, my uncle set her off and she yelled at him "Ed, you son of a bitch!" so he paused and replied "But mom, that would make you a bitch" there was total silence in the entire room and her temper went away instantly.....I was around 7 years old and laughing at it...... | |||
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Telecom Ronin |
Closely followed by "they look so natural"  no they don't! they look like Liberace's make up artist did 10 lines of coke and went to town on Aunt Ethel | |||
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| Get my pies outta the oven!  |
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Member |
Bi-partisan support! Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. “If in winning a race, you lose the respect of your fellow competitors, then you have won nothing” - Paul Elvstrom "The Great Dane" 1928 - 2016 | |||
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| Member |
Used that line on my Mom back in the day when I was young and foolish. Stunned her to silence, a rare occurrence when she was pissed. Then Dad cracked my upside the head from out of the blue, never saw it coming! But, it's legendary, family still recalls it!  Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. “If in winning a race, you lose the respect of your fellow competitors, then you have won nothing” - Paul Elvstrom "The Great Dane" 1928 - 2016 | |||
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| women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll |
Good luck | |||
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| Get my pies outta the oven! |
As far as the “they look so good!” line you hear people saying at open-casket funerals: If my grandmother caught someone saying that, she’d loudly say “NO...They look dead!” | |||
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Don't Panic |
From today's WSJ: WSJ video: "SpaceX Prototype Landed Without Crashing, Then It Exploded  Either dumb, or subtle doublespeak-black-humor. | |||
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| half-genius, half-wit |
Well, Sir, I've been here on this planet a little over 75 years, and that's the very first time I'm ever heard of comments like that being mentioned by a British person. All I can do is offer you one-eighth of an apology - that's ALL I can do, since I'm just one-eighth British. Utter hogwash from both those persons, is really all I can say about it. | |||
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| No double standards |
 "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it" - Judge Learned Hand, May 1944 | |||
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I Deal In Lead |
There's a reason God put those people on an island. | |||
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Member |
To which i always reply, "but the second mouse gets the cheese" 10 years to retirement! Just waiting! | |||
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| Three Generations of Service  |
I got a lot of my sense of humor from my Dad. His favorite thing was to say something that was completely innocuous on the surface and then wait to see if you realized your leg was being pulled. When he did that, he'd get this twinkle in his eye and an almost unnoticeable Mona Lisa kind of smile. You wouldn't even notice if you didn't know to look for it. Whoever prepared him for the funeral must've known him because he got that little smile exactly right. All six of us boys noticed it right away. My point being there ARE times when commenting on the appearance of the deceased can be a positive thing. That was in 1979 and I can still see it in my mind's eye. Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. | |||
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Member |
I said it as a nervous student driver out practice driving. Mom saw twin boys from our church playing together while walking down the street and pointed them out. I said, "it sure must be nice to be twins, especially if you are the same age." Mom looked at me dumbfounded and commented that my football helmet was not as protective as she hoped. | |||
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| Member |
"You have to pass the bill before you can read it" - Nancy Pelosi. ********* "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them". | |||
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Member |
I have had many customers tell me " It's and easy job, shouldn't take you too long" I tell them if it was easy you could have done it. NRA Life member NRA Certified Instructor "Our duty is to serve the mission, and if we're not doing that, then we have no right to call what we do service" Marcus Luttrell | |||
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| half-genius, half-wit |
But you are on an island, too, it's just rather bigger. And did you actually READ what I wrote? | |||
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| No double standards |
I think that should go down in the top 5 list, in terms of how outlandish the statement, how harmful the result, and how many people swallowed and/or promoted it. "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it" - Judge Learned Hand, May 1944 | |||
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